Suddenly recalled that I have this blog and started reading the posts and found those emotions I've blogged in the past... still kinda hurts me now...
So much has changed over the past 8 years and I am not even sure if I have fully healed.
Got my theological degree. Got in and out of church and currently looking another one now. Met new friends. Lost some. Still single and not sure whether I can trust or love again. Learn new things. Still riding my bike and loving it.
There are many other things that I want to do but I guess somehow God has better plans for me. And I shall be obedient.
As I think back 2008 and 2009, I can't help feeling silly to fall into a relationship that wasn't meant to be. I told many of my friends that I might be happier if I have not gone through those years.
Now that its 2016...the death of a relative, some friends and my beloved pet made me hope and pray that xman will not turn up dead as he will be turning 40 this year (he mentioned that if he did not succeed in anything, he will end his life turning 40). I never understood why he will have such thinking and always thought that I am able to change his thinking. Anyway, I will never know as we have lost contact with one another. I refused to do so and find that there isn't a point to contact one another as I cannot see past us being only friends. It just hurts too much.
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Monday, November 12, 2012
Exams and papers to write...
i'm outta time!
i still have an estimation of 8000 more words to write for my three papers to submit by next week...
and exams is on Monday!!!
i'm panicking a little, but yet still need to push on! gambatte gambatte!!!
i still have an estimation of 8000 more words to write for my three papers to submit by next week...
and exams is on Monday!!!
i'm panicking a little, but yet still need to push on! gambatte gambatte!!!
Saturday, October 20, 2012
*Smiles*
There is this funny classmate of mine whom make me smile or rather giggle in class last Tuesday.
He's quite a nice person I would say. Very funny & comical.
All he did was to try getting me to eat some Willy Wonka sweets that he described as the best in the world, having the face expression like an innocent child grinning. And while he passed me the sweet, I mentioned it was simply just normal / okay, but he insisted that I should continue eating it and the good stuff is in the middle. And so I did and realised it is quite nice after all.
His expression is priceless. And I know he came with a sincere intention to share something which he really like. In which, I have not felt such sincerity from any person for a very long time.
He's quite a nice person I would say. Very funny & comical.
All he did was to try getting me to eat some Willy Wonka sweets that he described as the best in the world, having the face expression like an innocent child grinning. And while he passed me the sweet, I mentioned it was simply just normal / okay, but he insisted that I should continue eating it and the good stuff is in the middle. And so I did and realised it is quite nice after all.
His expression is priceless. And I know he came with a sincere intention to share something which he really like. In which, I have not felt such sincerity from any person for a very long time.
Saturday, October 06, 2012
RIP Longblack...
Longblack has just passed away at 11am today.
Earlier this morning, she was lying on one side of body and she look very very weak.
I fed her with water and she was still okay except lying down.
Around 11am, she no longer have any heartbeat and has passed on.
I pray that she is with Papa God now, and in a way thanking that her pain did not prolonged.
RIP Longblack, I love you so much.
You had been such a joy in my family.
You had been such a great momma.
Will always remember you.
It breaks my heart...
This is definitely not a good week.
Talk about work, I feel really $&975*^5%#^%#%#& about it.
But until God tells me so to leave, I need to hang on.
What really made my heart break was on my guinea pigs. It has been a emotional run up and down...
First of all, I have gotten the guinea pigs from my fren whom creative school have to shift out from Mount Sophia. And moving into their new premises, they cannot keep pets. Thus I adopted three from them (Longblack whom is the mom and two younger ones), and of cos requesting them to be of the same sex. And they live happily together ever since, until...
4th Oct: Every morning, Longblack usually runs out from her small little hut to greet me or awaits for me to feed. But this very day, she hid in the hut and did not move at all. I noticed she is not her usual self and is not eating. :(
That very night I did their cage cleaning and found the other two keep humping Longblack. I decided to separate them first but realised the two keep chasing and humping each other. Thinking that one could be a male, I took out the "chaser" and the running stopped. Later putting Longblack in with the "non-chase". But later realising the other one keep disturbing her and she was squeaking for awhile. After much consideration and consultation, I've decided to separate them again. Leaving Longblack on her own, and the other two to chase each other for the night.
5th Oct: Longblack still not eating and not responding well. My dad ask if we should bring her to a vet. So after some research, I found a vet nearby my workplace and they open at 12pm and thus decided to head down. They only opened at 12.40pm and I met up with the vet whom explained quite a fair bit of things to me. And she also mentioned Longblack could be pregnant as she could feel two lumps on her. At this point of time, I was thinking how she could be pregnant?
If she's pregnant, does that means she will give birth to many? How would I be able to cope?
If she's not pregnant, then what are the two lumps on her body?
Nonetheless, I have to hand feed her with some herbivore supplement and Probiotics.
I brought her home at 2pm, and left for work again. And the whole afternoon trying to research...feeling excited yet nervous and also nervous yet excited.
By 6pm, I reached home. And I wanted to hand feed her again. But while carrying her to a tray, we realised there was some sac thingy in the cage. I immediately called and emailed my vet and realised she is giving birth now, and the sac looks like a prematured baby. *heartpain 1*
And soon after, she gave birth to another sac where she licked a few times but later leave it *heartpain 2* and another one came. *heart pain 3*
In total, she had a miscarriage of 3 babies. And this breaks my heart!!!
In the first place, I didn't even know she was pregnant. And don't even know that the two others were males.
I think I failed as a owner.
Though I really feel sad, but I know the next few days is to help Longblack to regain her health.
I've got to hand feed her and pray that she will get well.
It pains me to see her suffer, it pains me to know that she lost her child x 3. :~~~(((
Mummy Longblack is emo... Owner Lindy is emo too.
Lord, I just commit all these emotions to you. Help Longblack regain her appetite and health. Help us to get over this loss. I pray peace and restoration over her, myself and my family members whom also helped me to take care of her. In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.
Talk about work, I feel really $&975*^5%#^%#%#& about it.
But until God tells me so to leave, I need to hang on.
What really made my heart break was on my guinea pigs. It has been a emotional run up and down...
First of all, I have gotten the guinea pigs from my fren whom creative school have to shift out from Mount Sophia. And moving into their new premises, they cannot keep pets. Thus I adopted three from them (Longblack whom is the mom and two younger ones), and of cos requesting them to be of the same sex. And they live happily together ever since, until...
4th Oct: Every morning, Longblack usually runs out from her small little hut to greet me or awaits for me to feed. But this very day, she hid in the hut and did not move at all. I noticed she is not her usual self and is not eating. :(
That very night I did their cage cleaning and found the other two keep humping Longblack. I decided to separate them first but realised the two keep chasing and humping each other. Thinking that one could be a male, I took out the "chaser" and the running stopped. Later putting Longblack in with the "non-chase". But later realising the other one keep disturbing her and she was squeaking for awhile. After much consideration and consultation, I've decided to separate them again. Leaving Longblack on her own, and the other two to chase each other for the night.
5th Oct: Longblack still not eating and not responding well. My dad ask if we should bring her to a vet. So after some research, I found a vet nearby my workplace and they open at 12pm and thus decided to head down. They only opened at 12.40pm and I met up with the vet whom explained quite a fair bit of things to me. And she also mentioned Longblack could be pregnant as she could feel two lumps on her. At this point of time, I was thinking how she could be pregnant?
If she's pregnant, does that means she will give birth to many? How would I be able to cope?
If she's not pregnant, then what are the two lumps on her body?
Nonetheless, I have to hand feed her with some herbivore supplement and Probiotics.
I brought her home at 2pm, and left for work again. And the whole afternoon trying to research...feeling excited yet nervous and also nervous yet excited.
By 6pm, I reached home. And I wanted to hand feed her again. But while carrying her to a tray, we realised there was some sac thingy in the cage. I immediately called and emailed my vet and realised she is giving birth now, and the sac looks like a prematured baby. *heartpain 1*
And soon after, she gave birth to another sac where she licked a few times but later leave it *heartpain 2* and another one came. *heart pain 3*
In total, she had a miscarriage of 3 babies. And this breaks my heart!!!
In the first place, I didn't even know she was pregnant. And don't even know that the two others were males.
I think I failed as a owner.
Though I really feel sad, but I know the next few days is to help Longblack to regain her health.
I've got to hand feed her and pray that she will get well.
It pains me to see her suffer, it pains me to know that she lost her child x 3. :~~~(((
Mummy Longblack is emo... Owner Lindy is emo too.
Lord, I just commit all these emotions to you. Help Longblack regain her appetite and health. Help us to get over this loss. I pray peace and restoration over her, myself and my family members whom also helped me to take care of her. In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
*Mesmerized*
Had some free time hence must definitely write this!
I get mesmerized by :-
- good singing
- beautiful eyes
( I will add on to the list when I find other things that mesmerized me! Hahaha!)
I get mesmerized by :-
- good singing
- beautiful eyes
( I will add on to the list when I find other things that mesmerized me! Hahaha!)
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Term Break - Weekend 2
It has been a long time since I have tasted really good steak. And did I ever mentioned before that 'The French Stall' is my favourite restaurant? Unfortunately, I have not gone there for a very long time and it still brings back memories which I do not know whether to feel happy or sad about it.
We celebrated Erwin's bday today at Flamin' Grills, a place where my friends wanted to introduced and we only get to eat it today and it was just FANTASTIC. And I rate it much better than Morton's The Steakhouse! Really!
The set meal is like a 4/5-course with a soup, salad, complements, main dish & drinks. We also ordered escargot and there were some dishes "on-the-house" especially for us. ALL of the dishes were very nicely presented and taste superdelicious!!!
We celebrated Erwin's bday today at Flamin' Grills, a place where my friends wanted to introduced and we only get to eat it today and it was just FANTASTIC. And I rate it much better than Morton's The Steakhouse! Really!
The set meal is like a 4/5-course with a soup, salad, complements, main dish & drinks. We also ordered escargot and there were some dishes "on-the-house" especially for us. ALL of the dishes were very nicely presented and taste superdelicious!!!
Top: Traditional Caesar Salad. The orange round thingy is parmesan cheese. Gourmet Sausages.
Bottom: Mushroom Soup. (Their Beef with Barley is yummiest too). Bacon with Hawaiian Sauce?
Top: Classic Flav Mash. AU Angus Ribeye - Medium. Looks plain but the best steak I have eaten.
I asked for Caramelized Onion Sauce. But the owner had also given me Black Pepper & I like both!
I asked for Caramelized Onion Sauce. But the owner had also given me Black Pepper & I like both!
Bottom: Escargot on Mushroom. Chocolate Meltz.
*SLURPS*
Rate: 5 ***** (5 Being Best)
Can I come back here for my birthday? =)
Friday, April 13, 2012
The musical side of me...
I'm learning the ukulele! Well, they started a beginner class at my workplace and the lesson is during lunch time. Thus I just wanted to join in the fun, learning how to play the ukulele. And I find it very portable, so I can probably bring it with me whenever I go for ministry/mission trips. =)
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