Busy busy!

Just a status update to let everyone know that I have not died from crying over someone.

I had been very busy with work due to the 1 week absence. And I will be getting busier in the coming two months as I will be going for several trips!

But before those trips can come...I am looking forward to this weekend!

原來愛情那麼傷。。。

梁咏琪-原来爱情这么伤

我睁开眼睛,却感觉不到天亮
东西吃一半,莫名其妙哭一场
我忍住不想,时间变得更漫长
也与你有关,否则又开始胡思乱想

我日月无光,忙得不知所以然
找朋友交谈,其实全帮不上忙
以为会习惯,有你在才是习惯
你曾住在我心上,现在空了一个地方

原来爱情这么伤,比想象中还难
泪水总是不听话,幸福躲起来不声不响
太多道理太牵强,道理全是一样
说的时候很简单,爱上后却正巧打乱

只想变的坚强,强到能够去忘
无所谓悲伤,只要学会抵抗

原来爱情这么伤
原来爱情是这样,这样峰回路转
泪水明明流不干,瞎了眼还要再爱一趟
有一天终于打完,思念的一场战
回过头再看一看
原来爱情那么伤
下次还会不会这样

Rest in God...

I'm so glad that all these is finally over. The end of a very torturing week trying to block out all the tock tock tock chiang and being a runner & entertainer in the extreme heat for the whole week.

Both mentally & physically tired now...I pray that I will get total healing & restoration from God in the next two days before I start doing all of June's work to be completed in the coming week.

What should I do?

My mind is in a mess now and I am too tired to think rationally.

R.I.P. Grandma...

Psalm 73

When I read the above today, I realized how silly & little faith of me...

Thank God for Your presence and that You once again spoke to me. Thank You so much for picking me up when I fall down each and every time. Thank You for drying up my tears so I don't kill more trees with the boxes n boxes of tissues I use each day. Thank You for the friends whom You have put around me. And last of all, Thank You for dying on the cross for me.

I need a zapper...

This is to remove my memories as I find it so difficult and painful!

I still cry myself to sleep these days and what issit of use even with those creams or eye masks?

I had already kept myself very busy and what issit of use when my mind isn't in the activities I do?

I feel so frustrated that I just want to rip open my brains to take the part of you out.

Here comes June..

A month which I was looking forward to many things and now everything had just blacken out.

I wonder what God will bring in June and whatever He puts ahead for me, I know it's will be the best.

God is ♥

Ignore me in the previous post if it bothers you that I don't seem awake. I probably am not(at that point of time).

And yeah, it has only been a while and things are very much different now. Even though I may feel a little exhausted traveling home late at night as most of the time I run to church after work and weekends (Thank God for all the activities that He has arrange!). But I know that I have learn and gain so much during this period; that God will give me the strength I need and restore me to wholeness.

So many dumb things and grave mistakes I have done, for what I've called love. And so much so that the only thing I received now is just pain, hurt & heart brokenness. But why do I still do daily prayers for you...despite many people questioning me on why do I care, when you don't even care? Tsk! I don't even have an answer myself. And if I would to think...that is God's grace.

You may choose ignore me once again if I don't seem awake again.

But this is a phase which I must go through. I know Papa God is doing wonders and His transformetion will be great. =)

I miss you like crazy...

Even though it's been awhile and there had been many new things going on, like moving of office premises, I had been helping out very often at my church and my Lord has done alot of transformetion. But the following song still best describes my feelings now.



I used to call you my girl boy
I used to call you my friend
I used to call you the love
The love that I never had
When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again

[Chorus:]
I miss you like crazy
Even More than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
Girl Boy I'm so down when your love's not around
I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy
You are all that I want
You are all that I need
Can't you see how I feel
Can't you see that my pain's so real
When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again

Sad

I found you to be special. But you are just like the others out there now, too conformed by this evil world...

God is ♥

There are higher heights, there are deeper seas.
Whatever You need to do, Lord do in me.

Irony?

Few of my closest friends are going through very rough patches too. And the thing is that I could advise them but I can't apply what I have said to them on my own self. Worst, I'm crying even more than ever! And will I be the first in the world, to cry myself to death?

So prayers have been answered for them, but what about mine? I'm not questioning Papa God and perhaps He had already answered my prayers and its just that I had not been listening.

Nevertheless, I'm still glad that I am able to help in my little own way.

HeartacheS...

The world around me is making me feel so very sad...

Deadly viruses is spreading around. The financial world is crashing down. Within a country, people with authorities are fighting among themselves. And there is a big percentage of broken marriages & divorces. Seriously, what is this world becoming to?

As for myself? What can I say? You were scared & I was scared too...But you held my hands! How can I ever forget that??? You bring the world & smiles to me but only to destroy it now...

Papa God, please help us...please help this world. I believe in You. I still believe that there is true love is this world and there is pureness in people's heart. Everybody may think that I'm naive. But I still want to believe...I want to cling on to this hope in You!

Grace...

Some ppl is really testing my patience. And the best thing of all is that I must love this enemy. Does this sentence sounds ironic or wrong or funny to you? But no...that wasn't my intention.

Matthew 5:44
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.

I'm enjoying this walk with God every single second. Thank you, my dear Lord. =)

Truth...

No eye cream can take my sore puffy red eyes away but only God's mercy and grace...

Praise the Lord!

I have so much to say about today but I am locking it up in my heart for now.

The feeling is simply fantastic/great/wonderful/fill in anything good & I really do not want it to go away...

And right now, I'm just eager to find out/know/see what God has in store for me. =)

Memorable quotes...

I have always kept the following quote from the movie "Juno" bookmarked on my favorites. And this shall remain as one of the best...

Mac MacGuff(Dad) to Juno: Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

Proverbs 19:11

A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.

Lord, give me the ability to be slow to anger. Take away anything in me that refuses to let go of anger over things that have happened. Help me to not get angry over that I think are injustices or personal affronts. Help me instead to quickly overlook the things that make me upset and release all my anger to You. Replace anger in me with Your love and patience. Help me to be gracious to everyone I see and to be full of compassion in all situations. Help me to not retaliate with angry words that I will ultimately regret and that will grieve Your Holy Spirit. If anyone is angry at me or convicted me for any reason, whether justified or not, help me to always give a soft and gentle answer and forsake harsh words that stir up strife. I don't want anger in me to delay my wholeness and keep me from the destiny You have for me.

PLEASE...

Dear Lord, I really love KC.

Even with the situation we're in right now, my heart still goes out to him.

I do not wish to seek the easiest way out which is to give up. I WILL NOT agree to the devil or succumb to whatever circumstances we're in.

KC said to me, the one thing he would want to exchange with me is determination. Father, I beg of you please, will You grant him that determination to persevere on this relationship too?

PLEASE, I beg You please.

Have you ever...

Just wanna sing this tonight...



Have you ever love somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever love somebody so much
It's make you wanna cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life
You'd do anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to you
Only to find that one wont give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

What do I gotta do to get to you in my arms baby
What do I gotta do to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
cos baby I can't sleep...

Torn...

You so break my heart into billion pieces.
Why are you treating me this way? What have I not done or done wrong???

Wake up call... III

I've just gotten the letter which states how much we are getting for our bonus. And it triggers me to do a quick review of my life for the past one year or so.

The transfer of department, gained more personal time, got in a relationship...etc. I think I shall not elaborate on these areas...

The best of 2008 is receiving salvation through my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.


FYI: I titled the post, "Wake up call.." as it is a realization of things and its time to do something about it.

Wake up call... II

On second thoughts, I realized there are things which makes me wanna scream out LOUD.

I had been hesitating if I should have kept it in me by not muttering a word. But now, I decided to blog it (of cos without the major details).

1. Perhaps you are right! As from your POV, you would be like everybody else whom only gets to hear the politically right answers. How does it benefit others, by blurting your kiddo thoughts??? Don't you even know the simple fact that putting things into action isn't easy and it is impossible when people do not even see the need to lift a finger? Why don't you try achieving what you have said, if you were in my situation??!!!

2. I certainly do not deserve whatever I'm going through right now.

I CERTAINLY DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wake up call...

Okies...so God whacked my head and made me realized that I'm in a few deep shits and it is time to climb out from the pit.

All these were caused by my own hands and I had estimated that I will probably need a year to settle it.

Do not ask me what had happened cos I certainly do not need any judgment except for God's presence and His strength to help me through it.

One thing to assure you readers, it has nothing to do with my relationship or matters concerning life and death. =)

More than just a show...

Jiro had to recite a poem in the drama which triggered me to google. The whole poem is too long for an entry...so you may want to read the beautiful piece here! =)

Stray Birds
By Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)

1
Stray birds of summer come to my window to sing and fly away. And yellow leaves of autumn, which have no songs, flutter and fall there with a sigh.

2
O troupe of little vagrants of the world, leave your footprints in my words.

3
The world puts off its mask of vastness to its lover. It becomes small as one song, as one kiss of the eternal.

4
It is the tears of the earth that keep her smiles in bloom.

....

325
Release me from my unfulfilled past clinging to me from behind making death difficult.

326
Let this be my last word, that I trust in thy love.

爱就宅一起! ToGetHer...

Nice title isn't it? The above is a new Taiwan drama with cutie Rainie Yang and my yandao Jiro Wang! And wah wah wah wah wah!!! In the first episode, Jiro appeared in bed with only his briefs! This show is a must watch? LMAO!~

Okie...be serious!!! Just like what the poster writes, "when a agoraphobic girl (Rainie as Mo Mo) met a rinky-dink celebrity (Jiro as Mars), their love went agoraphobic..."

I think I'm gonna like the show! I wanna see how their love gonna bloom =)

Work Updates...

I use to be the earliest to reach the office but recently I tend to take things easier at work. Or rather, I didn’t have to bother much since I transferred to this department.

However, after the ‘warning session’ last week, everybody seemed uptight and kept thinking which idiot actually complaint.

The job rotation was more like only a switch of product type and now I handle two products which only involve in ‘detailed checking of info’.

How interesting can this be? Blah!

Praise God!

Thank God for creating those 24 hours fast food restaurant, so I can have a pack of crunchy apples to eat for dinner or issit supper?

And people usually says, "an apple a day keeps the doctor away". I say it's God blessing to me, so I can be able to afford such luxury. $2.55 for just a few slices of apple isn't something which many will get to eat, especially in those third world country.

Deep down in my heart...I am really grateful to my Lord.

Light in Darkness...

I'm glad to be greeted by familiar smiling people in church last weekend and that's the marvelous thing about God. He always picks you up in whatever circumstances you are in.

My mood was tremendously awful...I can't stop crying and my heart aches badly. It is embarrassing to be seen in public with red swollen teary eyes. But when people saw me, they didn't question me on anything but just gave me a pat on my back and said, "Have faith in God, He's with you all the time..."

That was something which I really needed, not just the comforting words, but a reminder that I should always stand on Christ's solid rock than the sinking sand.


Dear Lord,
Pls forgive me for my wrongdoings, I have allowed once again the darkness to fall upon me. Cast those unwanted thoughts outta me and renew my mind.

Help me to remember that nothing can happen today that You and I can't handle together.

I know that You are using difficulties to make me better - not bitter. And I can trust You for all the unknown future. In Jesus name I pray...Amen!

Shakespeare Sonnet 116

Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
- William Shakespeare

I hate PH.

The current and the last few festive seasons have not turned out well & I'm beginning to HATE when it's a Public Holiday in SG.

Bad vs Good...

I did two somewhat sad thingyz today and that is to throw away my favorite blouse which was torn beyond mending and my 'chao chao' aka bolster of dunno how many years.

Although the top being torn and the bolster already melting away, it actually took me quite awhile to decide dumping them down the chute.

Now that both items are gone...I'm glad I do not need to see the day where bed bugs crawl or leave chance for any to have an impression that I only have that top in my wardrobe.

Cheers! It's probably time for some shopping? Tsk tsk*

Welcome 2009!

Thank God for everything!

Though the end of 2008 & start of 2009 was kinda %&#@$^...that had me making the first resolution of the year which is to be happy & wanting more in my spiritual growth.

There hasn't been much post recently as I tend to blog in my mind these days and when I want to write it out, I can't recall most of it.

I certainly hope that this is not a sign of aging but a sign that I do not want to be reminded of things which easily mess up my mind.

Nevertheless, I pray that 2009 will be another good year for everybody. God Bless!

Yes Man.

Typing the topic seems funny. Cos there's another movie screened recently named Ip Man but everybody reads it as I.P. Man...

Anyway, the DDs(Double Daters) went to watch Yes Man last night. Though I wasn't really in the mood for a comedy, I tried my best to pay attention to the movie.

I like the part when both of them travels to unknown places doing all the craziest thing ever. But all these, only comes if you are willing to do so. Perhaps, initially he had to agree due to the "Yes Covenant", but after all the good/bad things happened to him, he realized life became/were different.

Life isn't mundane as it is. It is only colorful if you want it to...

心中话。。。

If your heart has been shattered to million pieces, let me be the one to glue you back together. I will do whatever it takes to piece you back again, and I promise to never lose my grip.

God be my witness and our supporting pillar.

I love you.

No way.

I can still recall the last part of my dream where I ran around in the rain searching for JL (probably for some comfort), also crying and screaming frantically, "God...is that true? Is that true?"

My heart is thumping fast and I'm still trying to catch my breath.

God, I'm so glad you woke me up.

Amen!

Are you connected?

Are you connected? It's very easy to be connected these days. Perhaps we are over connected sometimes.

Do spare 5minutes to listen to the following link.

Filtering...

I'm getting a little tired over all the nasty comments.
I'm also feeling a little mentally exhausted on the things that came into my knowledge recently.

We ought to filter what we hear and see. We should not indiscriminately allow inputs into our inner man.

Mark 4:24
Consider carefully what you hear," he continued. "With the measure you use, it will be measured to you—and even more.

So wise indeed, I really needa practice the above.

Good excuse.

It's a good excuse to cry today and since my eyes is still a little teary due to the sensitivity to light from my op on Wednesday, I doubt anybody would actually bother if I sit in my cubicle and cry facing my monitor screen.

Dear Lord...will you please be with me?

And He answers...

Philippians 2:14-16
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.

What a day...

Part 1
I find it difficult to decide on whether to go for the Manado trip in April 09.

Even after a week of consideration and a second time asking from my instructor, I said to count me in but later felt ultra uneasy and got him to halt the booking of my flight.

I tried listing down all the possible reasons on what's stopping me and what's not but still couldn't convince myself to a decision.

I began to ask close friends on why I'm having this kinda feeling resulting all sorta answers/ways to decide and yes, I even wrote to darling asking for his opinions which could probably help to the firming up on my decision. But never got a reply...

There is this unrest in me which I really do not know how to describe... But I guess I should conclude, as the last time I had this kinda feeling, there was the tsunami.

Part 2
I fell from a flight of steps, hurting my butt & ankle last evening. Having the blue black kinda pain on both my butt cheeks and few pieces of skin scrapped off showing some white white meat/stuffs on my ankle. I don't think I needa describe further the kinda pain I'm experiencing.

I was dazed by the fall and was with darling when I fell but I guess nothing much could be done as he had to stay for a meeting with his partners.

On my way back alone, I was almost on the verge of crying, but did not, till early morning when I didn't hear any sound even after his meeting. Talk about replying when you are free, I didn't get any when you really are but most of the time seeing him first on his pc replying to others on his forums. To this, I felt like a sore loser. Losing myself to his work/pc/forums which sometimes get me wondering if those ppl really bother on what he writes or just wanting to make use of his expertise.

We had a talk after that as our smses didn't get us anywhere but saying words which are going the untrue and hurting way. Although it didn't started out that well either as I began to spurt out certain things which I would have kept quiet till grave, such as, I really hate what D had done to you but still I prayed well for her.

About the right timing and place to talk to you, when do I ever get the chance, other than this method? In a way, I'm glad we straightened some things out and like I said, if I have to resort to falling down just to talk with you this much again. I would...

Horror Movies

I haven't been watching horror movies for quite some time. If I do have to recall, my exS were far more scared than I am while watching horror shows which left me feeling more frightened instead.

But I had noticed (after watching "Poltergeist" at the chalet) that I don't feel disturbed after watching horror movies with my dearest! Perhaps it's this sense of security that I get/feel from him and I hope I did not numbed/break his fingers while watching "The Coffin" and "Rec", as there were a few scenes which I had grabbed his hand rather tightly.

Probably in the past, I was confused on how such supernatural stuffs could take place and kept thinking if it was real, even after few weeks. But now, on the second day, I wasn't really thinking as I also know that I only have God to fear.

But the 1 thingy which left me thinking after "The Coffin" was that I hope darling would keep himself healthy & alive, not dying earlier than I do, for I will be very sad and I find it very hard to overcome. It's not that I'm selfish and wanna leave first, leaving him behind...but I believe he'll be stronger than I am. And I do pray that he will take care of himself; sometimes he really get me worrying seeing him eating all those ultra sweet stuffs, junk food and having irregular/short resting hours.

Please. Will you take care of yourself?

Finally I can blog about it!

Time simply flew through the past few weeks which had kept me running around to the completion of the thingy which I was doing. And thanks to MM whom had assisted and SM & JJ whom have sealed their lips. Finally I can blog about it!

I'm glad that you like what you had received. And the thingy which I realized was when you had that one wish which everybody says would come true, we often used it on the one whom really matters. I did that too.


I had fun & enjoyed last weekend with you at Turi Beach Resort Batam - a very last minute decision which bookings were only made the day before we left.

Spending time with you just strolling by the beach, admiring the sea view from our room, listening to the waves and getting our fingers dirty eating all those seafood are moments which I'll never forget.

You gave me that silly little girl's giggles when you piggyback me in the waters around the pool; some feeling which I had never felt before; wanting to just hold you tight and never let you go.

(Ya, the pool ok. I didn't torture him to piggyback me on land!)

And thank you for saving me up when I flew off the banana boat so many times. The jet ski ride was fun too but I was just afraid to speed & lose control of it and might get you hurt.

I guess whatever I wanna say is already in what I had given to you. And I'll pray that you will always keep those messages in your heart...

I love you.

Am I a perfectionist?

Judging from the definition on dictionary.com, I definitely don't seem like one. Cos if I am a perfectionist, I probably wouldn't be who/what I am now.

Ahh...okies. Perhaps I had been putting too much pressure on myself on the things that I'm doing and I had unknowingly set myself no room for any mistakes on it.

But I guess by doing the above, no doubt of its importance, it is already a big mistake.

Chill out & Trust in God...I need to say this to myself.

End of Oct

Eventful Oct has ended and it's simply wonderful! A-mei's concert, WL's wedding, my day with Darling @ Escape Theme Park & WildWildWet and my baptism ceremony.

WL's wedding was held at RCC and the place is rather scenic & peaceful. Darling was the emcee that night and I felt that he really did a great job. Too bad, he wasn't wearing his jacket that night which has always reminded me the very first time he came to AMK S-11 meeting me wearing his jacket before he goes off for a client's company event. Very smart looking okay? :winkz:

My day with my dearest @ Escape Theme Park & Wildwildwet was terrific!! As not many turned up for the chalet, we were left with free entrance tickets to these places. The theme park proved to be that they will be heading for a closure with such little rides. The more exciting ones are the Viking (which got darling screaming), the Inverter & the Go-kart.

Next was Wildwildwet, the weather was so hot that day, we just couldn't resist jumping into the waters. We tried almost all rides, and the most memorable ones would be "Slide Up" and the "Tsunami". I guess the 'ugliest' that darling had seen of me would be when we were falling from Slide up's 4 storey high ramp. Gosh!!! As I was the heavier one, I had to sit in the position where I faced down during the slide. It really got me mouth-opened screaming and scared that we might fall. But I think this kinda adrenalin rush is just perfect!!!

Well, as for the "Tsunami" - the wave pool, we were competing against each other on whom swam faster and to successfully get on the float first. And that struggling made us lose our locker key leaving us in a bet on who would be the first to retrieve the key after the heavy downpour towards the evening. Ahh...once again, I guess I wasn't detailed enough and lost the bet as he did found the key after I gave up on the search.

All the above playing really got us tired, sunburnt and peeling. But it was really enjoyable; I love to spend weekends with you. =)

Lastly, my baptism ceremony was rather a quiet one and I had only invited darling (whom didn't manage to make it) and Betty (whom couldn't make it either as she will be leaving for her long vacation the very same day). Although I was a little disappointed... God had 'distracted' my attention as there were many Mediacorp artiste, such as Ivy Lee, Jacelyn Tay, Li Nan Xing, Chew Chor Meng, Fann & Chris turning up at my church! And that's becos, Rayson Tan (Chen Li Ping's hubby) was also baptized the same day. Nonetheless, I'm glad that I am finally now, an official Child of God.

And I want to praise and thank Him for all the above wonderful times. Now...I really look forward to the month of November - Darling's month. =)

Smile!

There is a sense of happiness & fulfillment in me today that I feel like I am swinging a basket in one hand and skipping my way home(you know like in those fairytale). But of cos I cannot do that in real else I'd probably drop dead halfway back or create the first massive earthquake in SG. =X

Recently, I went to try out a few things which I have never done before in my life. I must admit that I am getting the hang of it, totally enjoyed the entire process and addicted.

I wondered why I did not pursue in this line even though I do have great interest in it, but even if I wanted to, I'm probably too old for it now, need to go for some plastic surgery & drop to a weight of like 40kg? Erm...that is like so impossible.

Nevertheless, it's a wonderful experience and I thank God for giving me the courage and for providing all the resources I need. Praise the Lord! =)

A-mei r0cks!!!

This is an overdue post - I went for A-mei's concert on 4th Oct at the indoor stadium & it's totally awesome! I really enjoyed myself & I hope KC and my group of friends had a good time too.



Since I was a teenager, A-mei has been my favorite singer with a powerful vocal which I admire. She isn't one whom has a cutie face or with a nose-bleeding figure, but it was mainly due to her hard work and determination which brought her to fame and becoming successful.

Many of her songs are already stuck in my mind and it's really hard not to sing along at her concert or at any KTV sessions that I go to. I do have to admit that I had shed a few tears while singing/listening to some of her songs recently, which best describes my feelings and thoughts.

Dang!

There is some migration work to be done by this week and I only get to know today? Hah! It's time to wave my hands in the air as I won't have to complain that I will be bored or have nothing to do at work!

Weddings.

I attended 3 weddings since the past few weeks and 2 more are coming up in Nov. Despite all the merry sabotaging to the newly wedded couple, I'm getting to feel a little bored as I find all 'procedures' seemed similar.

I'm looking forward to attending the ones in Nov as they will be held in churches. Though some friends were mentioning it could also get a little boring and strict, I do hope mine will be held in a church...

Goodbye Sept

Praying that you will take care of your health.
Praying that you will live a happier life.
Praying that you are just by my side.

Happy wkend~

I had a great weekend last week!

I was with my F4 gang - MM, JJ & SM on Friday @ waffletown and had the yummiEst fried chicken! Served hot & crispy, the meat is so nice & tender that I had 4 pieces of it, which is probably the most no. of pieces I ever ate in any one meal. Their waffles wasn't that fantastic as I find it's somewhat tasteless. Perhaps they should consider changing their name to chickytown instead.

Sat & Sunday was simply great too as I've got to spend some time with my dearest darling despite his busy work schedule. :MUacks:

We went to Ichi's hse for some briefing on his wedding, followed by dinner @ Uno Beef House which is located at a kopidiam in Toa Payoh Lorong 5. It's really good!! Definitely SO MUCH BEtter than Aston which I would strongly discouraged anybody to try.

Met up with darling on Sunday evening as well & we went for "Mamma Mia"! And if any of you whom have not watch this movie, ya better go catch the show before it goes offscreen!

The scenes which is on a small island of Greece is really captivating! And I really enjoyed the songs & dance in the show that I even sang along. Hopefully, I did not made deaf anybody's ears at the cinema! Anyway, I really envy her wedding - held in a chapel, the hanging lamps used at the dinner, the back lights which made the ambience very romantic & sweet! =X



Thank God for such a marvelous weekend! =)

Hooked.

It's raining elephants & hippos in Singapore and my neighborhood is sorta flooded by all the construction work going on.

I had my bit of fun slipper-walking through puddles of water today & I thought it would be great skipping around with rubber boots! Haha!

My huge umbrella didn't help cover much of me & my bag; I seemed to be more worried if my new purchase will be ruined.

I've got hooked to it since yesterday and I wished I had more energy to keep myself awake to finish reading the whole book. Now I can't wait to get my hands on the other but it's just bad luck for me that the store only has the last copy and its torn!

兴奋！

突然觉得很兴奋！可能是因为想到有重要的事要做，所以感觉如此。
虽然会有一点困难，但我知道自己一定会成功!

我祈求上帝能帮助我完成我的心愿! =)

911

Val's entry on 911 had triggered me to write this. So what was I doing during this terrible incident?

I was working with SIA(one of the dream company I want to be in) @ the HR department under the recruitment & selection for the IT department. Being someone with just an O' Lvl cert and of no relevant job experience, it seems like the impossible thingy, especially in the government sector. But I've got the chance of a temporary contract and was already on the to-be-converted to a permanent staff stage.

Unfortunately, all things changed because of 911 terrorist crash incident. This has affected the aviation industries quite badly. All available headcounts froze, and many even got retrenched. For me, my hopes with SIA vanished, just like WTC.

The lucky thingy that came outta this? I got employed with Keppel. And thank God for that. =)

Foul day

I dislike people scolding vulgarities. I find it rude & a form of disrespect. And foul language being scolded at you from a friend because he don't see eye to eye with you on something.

THAT'S EVEN WORST!

Epi-Lasik Update

You probably must be wondering why I said in my earlier entry that I'm having difficulty reading in low-light areas.

Unfortunately to say, I'm still left with a +100 astigmatism on my right eye. And the next is to wait for 3 months to ensure that it's stabilize before I go for an enhancement.

Frankly speaking, I'm not so afraid of having another surgery but more hoping that they do it soonest! But my guess that the earliest 'eyesight perfection' will only be Christmas!

Ahh! I really must pray on this one...

Size does matters!

I bought myself another Bible today and carefully stick the index tabs for easy-referencing(it took me about an hour).

The reason for this new purchase is that I'm having difficulty reading in low-light areas and at early hours in the morning like between 4AM - 7AM. And since my other Bible is small & compact for most handbags, you can probably figure how small the fonts are!

Big Bowl

What's with the size of the bowl? I have never been to Japan but do they really use such huge eating utensils? Furthermore, it's actually kinda tiring eating with the chopsticks that is also too short!

Nevertheless, I had a great lunch with Elle last week. =)

Pic taken @ Waraku

Shoot me dead.

I deserve to be shot dead for the blog entry before this. For I had let lousy emotions affected me rather than believing wholeheartedly that God is doing good in/for me. I failed to understand on the Word; the very first which I 'memorized' & put in heart in my Christ walk.

Ecclesiastes 9:11 - I have seen something else under the sun, the race is not to the swift, or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.

It's time I do something about it, else just shoot me dead!

I hope this isn't just a big joke!

Was my life ruined by my own hands? My stubbornness or rebellious self?

What happens if I had been following the path my parents had wanted me to take? Would things be different now?

Since younger days, there were so many things which I had done well & could have achieve better, such as academic & sports , but I did not. I took another route which lead me to today.

OMG! I think I'm going mad or something.

I came to know or rather found out a few things recently which made me feel belittled & lacking of confidence. I just feel ugly, stupid & dumb & should be non-existence on earth.

And I try to ask & seek for an answer from God, why am I here for? WHY? :(

I'm not a robot...

I'm still human & not made of steel/metal/bronze ok, and not as great as everybody finds me to be. I still feel some sort of frustration & sadness sometimes when I can't get to meet you each day or when some things don't get in my way. But I'll learn that it's not my way, it is God's way - for me to be patient and understanding.

Colossians 1:16
For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.

My heart says...

All the while, I have not thought much ahead till recent happenings to myself. A big decision which I had made, not only for myself but ‘for whatever the matter’ is too. While I always thought I could do it; when come to the actual situation, I could not. And this was the biggest guilt in my mind...

Having thoughts into the future because of the above (but this has been in my mind even before any of you might have know me). Simplicity - that's all I ever wanted. And if you want to talk about marriage; I want a happy marriage & marriage vows to be exchanged in a church with the one I love and love me. These vows are significant and meaningful that it overwrites anything! I have never thought of wanting a wedding ceremony neither nor to live in a big house. I want no celebration, no decorations, no buffet, etc. Perhaps these were things which someone else might have wished for, but these are certainly not what I want!!!

You also mentioned that you feel it’s only right to provide and had/gonna spent lotsa time trying to build this. Much as I understand your well-planned intentions, but during this process if we had neglected each others’ feelings, causing our feelings to fade or simple cease in time to come. No matter how much money one earns, we can never buy back the time loss and the feelings we had for each other.

Planning is always one thingy, striking a balance is another. I know it’s never easy for anybody to do so, but we just got to try & never give up.

As much as I hope that I can spent more time with you each day and that each weekend will be longer, I know this is not possible. But I still try my very best...

Somewhat my heart has not rested since the day we got together (sounds stupid, if my heart rest, it probably meant that I’m dead). No doubt, I want to shout out loud that I love you, and wanting more in our relationship; I am afraid I might fall badly and never to get up again. There are many fears in my heart and one of them which you already had mentioned, but I know God will give me strength, dispels all fears and always be my pillar.

Perhaps this is one of the reasons which lead me so close to God; there is no other whom I converse so much each day of my daily life.

There is so much that I want to help you with, in every aspect of your life but I know there are limitations to what I could do, except to pray – for patience & strength, for our healing and that we will grow further in this relationship, together with God.

Your horoscope for today.

You may have a hard time relating to people in social situations, Linda. Perhaps you are frustrated by hearing the same shallow conversations over and over again. While you stand there mingling with dozens of different people, all you can think of is how nice it would be if you could just be home alone on your own couch in front of the TV. Your best plan of attack is to simply avoid situations that you know you won't enjoy. There is no sense in torturing yourself.

Hah! The above has gotta be the best to describe my day. But I still went to meet my ex-colleagues + a 4 mth old baby today as they had been complaining that I had vanished.

Time & Chance Happens to them all

When's mine? *Sobz*

Things Happen for a Good Reason.

So many things happened recently; not only to myself, and also to other friends, till I do not know what I should be feeling now but just wanting to pray.

I understand that things happen for a good reason, however such trials of life isn't very fun and can hurt badly. It would be good if I'm made of metal but I'm not. My heart do aches.

And I pray... Please, my dear Lord. Help me! Keep me away from these...

Money No Enough 2

I went to watch 'Money No Enough 2' last night and it's been a long time since I laughed so much. Especially the part when the mother kept asking, "Ah Hui, you have come home ah? Have you eaten?" It was supposed to be a sad scene, but it was the way the question was being asked repeatedly and responded by Ah Hui which kept me laughing till I teared.

Other than this, the show does portray on the lives of Singaporeans these days. I applause Jack Neo's ideas of removing the ERPs gantries & making them into sculptures instead. Hah!

Abbreviations ...

Just got to know some new ppl recently and they tend to use abbreviations in their sms or conversations. Somehow or rather, I've got influence a little so I kept using it aso =X

The list of common ones which you'll see/seen me using would be:
PTL = Praise the Lord (Dun ask me y yday PTL x infinity, tat's a little secret.)
GBU = God Bless You

Others I used (but on GOP only bcos there are a few bo liao/emo/stubborn/attention seeking/very extra/irritating goonz around) <==agreed by two & more. Hahahahaha!:
DL = Dulan
VB = Vomit blood
GBW = Go bang wall

So all of you better get use to it okie? If I come up with new ones, will probably post here again. =P

PTL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

X infinity!!! =)

Trust...

Someone wrote in the forum about trusting your other half.

To be frank, be it my other half or anybody, I will try not to put so much trust on them. Even if I say I do trust KC; how about the people around him/us, whatsoever.

I agree when people say, if you keep hanging out with those 'pls fill in your own blanks', you will somehow get influenced too. An e.g., my colleagues always goes for branded goods, if I keep following them during lunch as they visit boutiques almost everyday, sooner or later, I MIGHT get tempted and fall into this little indulgence with them. And that's why I chose not to join them for lunch that often, else I will just go off after lunch.

Ahh...such desires... just one word = sad.

Another thingy is that we meet all sorts of people each day, be it good or evil, this is something we cannot control. Perhaps each of these people are sent down by God to test on your faith...

And only, we, individually can choose either to allow the good to do good or the evil to plant evil in your life. And the only way to guard yourself, is to keep remembering & following on His Word and I can't agree more when Frank wrote on, "Be wise in your dealing with strangers. And remember the Gospel."

The only one whom I can trust 101% now is God. For He is immutable & will always be there for me. He will not succumb to temptations and will always be the only righteous one. He provides and only want the best for me. And I will follow in this path which He has set out for me. =)

Hebrews 13: 8
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Revived game.

It's been couple of months since I last played badminton and I was thinking if I should join ATN's grp at Clementi today despite having to rush back to Tampines for my class. I was supposed to play last Friday but I was kinda sick and wasn't really in the mood to play. What I really miss was the group whom I used to play with early this year, from GOP that is, like with Da Jie, JY & KC of cos, etc. But unfortunately, it's not gonna happen anytime near future.

Thank God, Lilian smsed me yesterday to ask if I wanna join her and a bunch of ppl at a CC near my house. Simply Great! I can play once again and I do not need to travel so far! And guess what? It's sorta free!

Today's session was rather good, I just took a little longer during my warm up session. I'm probably the youngest among all but I had fun playing with all of them!

Anyway, I had to leave early as I had something on early afternoon, and yeah, was being invited to play with them every Sunday morning. Sweet! =)

Friends...

There has been many miscommunications between various friends recently.

And I really hate to be sandwiched in between them. No doubt I want the best on both sides, hoping that they don't bear grudges among with each other, but that's not what is happening.

Perhaps we just need a little patience, understanding & rid off the self-centerness.

But I'll continue to pray - that everything will be fine soon. All of us may not know each other long enough yet, but still, we should all treasure this friendship, staying united (as we used to be)...

Friends by Michael W. Smith

God knows...

I had a dream awhile ago (just before I woke up) & this time round, a dream which I could remember vividly.

I was trying to figure out why this sudden dream; was it related to any of my thoughts before I slept last night?

Then something hit me that God is telling me that He knows; everything that you do/did & everything you say/said. There is no escape from Him and no matter how much you can prove you are right, or things which you had resolved, whether its good or bad. You'll still have to answer to Him.

Aftermath.

And so the D&D ended with a Sony Bravia 46" LCD TV & not that it is of interest to me... Ahh! I was more glad that it was over!

I uploaded some pictures on my friendster if thats of any interest to you (more to come when my colleagues have sent me). And yeah pictures of me with colleagues dressing up as Heroes & Villains - as fictional it can be or simply just desires & fantasy of people wanting such supernatural powers. And no, I wasn't in any heroine outfit or whatsoever, just a simple dress for a simple me. =)

Now if you read the book of Ecclesiastes - King Solomon. The lesson in that chap teaches you whenever your thoughts become earthly and focus on things under the sun, you'll despair.

In simple, when you focus & live life on your desires, your life will be unfulfilled.

Okie okie I will stop here before anybody starts hitting my head.

Anyway, enjoy the pics! Go guess who is the majesty, queen & highness!

Annual D&D - Superheroes!

It's my Annual D&D Day and this year will be on Superheroes! Unfortunately this time round, it will be less exciting/fun as I cannot imagine my team wearing any superheroes outfit =X

I reckon most are going for the prizes & free food only. Did I mention that last year's first prize was a trip to Mauritius + a sum of $$$? Ahh!

Anyway, I hope I have abit of fun tonight despite all the loud shouting n stuffs.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Time & Chance Happen To Them All.

The other day there were many caterpillars hanging on the trees, and I wondered where did all the butterflies gone to. Today I saw a bunch of them circling around my feet playing with me.

The other day I was wondering when will I get to meet the daughter of my favorite president? Today she spoke to me and drove me home; A humble lady whom can cook very well indeed.

=)

I'm so touched.

Thank you, May, for your little belated birthday gift and card.

Thank you, My Lord, for blessing me with such a good friend. =)

Just keep praying...

I'll be fine with Lord Jesus.

Rainy Morning!

I did a very unglam thingy by wearing slippers to work today! It was raining heavily in the east and since there is so much construction going on near my neighborhood. I just can't resist wearing slippers!

This makes me recall those younger days when going to school with the almost painted white school shoes. And during raining days, most of us just wear slippers in order not to dirty them.

Do you remember your mom nagging at you to wash your shoes? To paint them after it drys up? Or you just simply just throw it in the washing machine? Well, I really do know of people whom does this! =P

Happy 4 Months!

Congrats on clinching the deal! God Bless!

Quiet Times...

I'm loving quietness & my daily conversations with God more n more each day. As that is the only time I feel peace & my mind is undisturbed. I long for the weekends to come faster so I can once again feel restored.

I feel a little sick of all the every day human indulgence over food, entertainment & entertaining of people aka socializing as all bad things will be shown else known.

And all these...had cast me far away - to be in my prayers.

Quality Time...

My bus ride was 70cents lesser today as there was a technical glitch on the easylink card reader. At first, I thought it was gonna be a free ride when we were told to just take a seat. Later the trip was sorta delayed as we stopped by somewhere for it to be fixed but this has given me sufficient time for a second reading of a book by Joseph Prince. Yeah yeah, why read it another time since I only finished reading last night? =X

Anyway, these has sparked me to open another little corner of mine which I call it my sanctuary. Don't bother asking me where it is ok? Tsk tsk* =)

Dan Ryan's Chicago Grill

I had dinner with Darling, Elle, Ashley & Roderick @ Dan Ryan's Chicago Grill last evening. This is another new place that I've gone to this year & I would say the next time if I were to order any steak, the best is to follow Darling's theory on having the most expensive steak on the menu as that's usually the best steak being served by the restaurant! And it seems this has always been the case as those I had ordered, doesn't taste as good as his! *pouts*

We had the New England Clam Chowder soup, Sauteed Mushrooms as sides and my main dish was the Rib Eye Steak and Darling had his Charred Striploin Steak! I think the word charred turn the rest of us off a little from ordering it, but his was the best among all!

Anyway, it was a great gathering of good food lovers but yet being afraid of gaining weight/fats. Cheers!

Bday Present

Dearest DArling gave me a PSP for my bday! Deep red in color but with no games yet! Muacks~!

Initially I didn't buy it myself becos of a few things:
1) I know I will get hook and it's not good as I can do many other things with the time spent on it.
2) I'm saving money.
3) Pastor Rony said, 'virtual games' are evil!!!

To many, perhaps it's about gifts & celebration. But for so many years, all I ever wanted was to be with my love ones. And I feel deep joy that I am able to be with Darling this year and the PSP!! Yippee! Now is to get games~~~ Kekeke! =P

Though my bday is over, I am still getting questions from friends on what I want to eat, what present do I want for my bday. But seriously, we can meet to catch up on our lives but do not spend $$ on getting gifts okie? Like what I've mentioned...

The greatest gift I have received, is God's Love.
The greatest gift I have gotten for myself, is The Bible.

There is another gift which I have thought of receiving but never have I told anyone...

Perhaps I will get it myself when the time comes for me to be baptized. =)

8 Law of Habitual Thoughts

Went for Service this morning & Pastor Rony spoke on feelings & thoughts & said, "Your brain is a powerful tool". He then go about speaking on the 8 Law of Habitual Thoughts as listed below.

8 Law of Habitual Thoughts
1) You have the power to choose what to think regularly.
2) What you constantly think will become real & relevant to you.
3) Your habitual thoughts will becoming the driving force of your life.
4) You will eventually become what you habitually think.
5) You will eventually put your habitual thoughts into actions.
6) Your translated action repeated will eventually become a habit.
7) Your driving thoughts and habit will reinforce each other.
8) You can only change that pattern of living by first changing your thoughts.

How true & powerful these words are. Praise the Lord, for guiding me once again. =)

Happy 27th Birthday! =)

The greatest gift I have received, is God's Love.

The greatest gift I have gotten for myself, is The Bible.

My Idle Mode Starts

So I went to do a personality type quiz - http://www.ipersonic.com/test.html! And the results is kinda accurate for me...


Social Realist (SR)

Social Realists are popular persons full of energy. They are reliable, well organized and helpful. Traditional values are important to them. Founding a family also plays a central role in their life. Social Realists have a marked social streak. They are always ready to listen to the worries and problems of others and spare no effort when they are asked for help. With empathy and understanding, they can sense what other people need. Social Realists are always willing to highly regard the strong points of the other person and to excuse that person’s weaknesses. They are the most sociable of all personality types. Social contacts are very important to them.

Social Realists find it very difficult to cope with conflicts and criticism - harmony is their elixir of life. Acknowledgement and esteem are very important to this type. Differentiation on the other hand is not necessarily one of their strong points. At work and in partnerships, they are loyal, committed and always there when needed. They find it easy to make friends due to their open, warm manner and they have a large circle of friends.

In love, they are faithful and attentive and care for their partners with a great deal of imagination and sensitivity. Social Realists show their feelings openly and honestly. Should a relationship break up, they tend to blame themselves. That is why they find it very difficult to end a partnership even if it has not fulfilled their requirements for some time.

Social Realists are more conservative types. They have a set system of values and rules which is orientated to the prevailing traditions. They prefer clear, structured surroundings and work processes; they find too much change und unrest unpleasant. Their strong points are carefulness and reliability and not so much flexibility and spontaneity. Social Realists are open-minded towards anything new only to a limited extent. But, should one be looking for someone to fulfil a task reliably and exactly, they are the right persons.

Sleepless Night

Went for a double date last evening and watched the movie 'The Happening' directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

It was just a casual dinner meet up but later our partners joined us & we decided to go for movies.

I sorta recall why I do not like to use my brains after night falls as this will lead me to a sleepless night due to extended usage of the brain. Haha! It's similar to cycling, when you pedal hard and stop pedaling after awhile, the wheels will still run before you need to start again. I guess my brains work this way as well. =X

Just like babies & young kids..when they are over-excited into the night, they tend not to sleep. It's the same logic for me! Of cos, I would be a big baby for now. But yeah, it's still happening to me. =)

Now why do I keep talking about getting over-excited & on my brains, that's because of M. Night Shyamalan! I did not realized that this show was directed & written by him but I do remember telling myself in the past that his shows does leave you thinking & hyped up cos of the plot/scenes. And so it's around 10.30pm when we watched the movie with the gr0ss and terrifying scenes of people trying various ways of killing themselves.

The strange thing is that I was not even thinking of the show when I was in bed, but yeah, I had a sleepless night. =X

Big Thank You

I wanna say a Big Thank You to JL, SM, MM, JJ, LGF, ATN, XH & ED for your presence at dinner last night, the gift card, the cake and most importantly, all your thoughts. =)

Cannot say out yday cos I will cry one, especially when all of you sang the birthday song.

Ya ya, Cancerian are emotional people but there is never a day when I felt being a one isn't good. =)

Lost & Found

I thought I have lost it, else I must have dump it during the cleaning of my room. But today, I found it back where I have left it! The original spot!

This seem odd as the last time I search for it, it wasn't there! Hah!

Given to me by Esther in 1994, I wondered what had kept me keeping it for 14 years.

It's a sign...The sign which I had been asking for. Thank You My Lord!

My work

If you had been a follower of my lousy writings since the start of this blog. You might have noticed that I previously treat this blog for me to vent my anger/whinings/complains in regards to work.

But for now, this has tone down quite a lot ever since I have transferred department as of late 2007.

Just some updates, I am still with SH but currently in the another dept where my busy period is only during 8th - 20th of the month. And during this period, I just needa complete my reports and the rest of the days I would somehow be on idling mode. The only bad thingy is that, I have to face the 'queen & highness' whom almost all dislike.

This was maybe a very late decision but a chance so slim which came by, just when I was on the verge of resigning. But now, I am really enjoying the 'less stress & responsibilities' with having more time & flexibility, which in return gave me the chance to know more friends and to be together with Darling. =)

Now I know that I would want to spend time to know and understanding him as much as I can. But recently, Darling had clinched various projects which have kept him very busy. I just wish that there could be something which I can do for him; but on IT/technical stuffs? I think I am an idiot on this. (Well, I know how to format my pc la, not like some whom totally have zero knowledge on it).

Anyway, just for sharing.

Life is an ECHO. What you send out, you get back.
What you give, you receive. When you bring out the best in others, you bring out the best in yourself.

The above quote is written on one of my client's email signature.

My say...

When you keep thinking/doing those things you cannot control, you'll miss out on the little things which you actually can do.

I need to address on my above sayings which I use very often recently. Cos I feel that this can be applied to many people out there. I hope that after you have read the following & its examples. You can learn & do something (hopefully for the better) on your decision making.

DO NOT THINK of the aftermath, cos that is that is something which you usually cannot control. Do think on your actions & words, what you do, what you say, will it hurt someone, will it make someone happier, what is the impact you want on them? What is the impact you want on yourself? Always remember what you say/do reflects on yourself & the people around you.

You asked if one day I get to know someone better than you are, will you choose to break up. My answer is no, unless you do not love me anymore and had given up on our relationship, else I will not let go. This is because the future is something I cannot control, right now, I want YOU. Anyway, please do not keep thinking on the ‘what if one day that someone better might come along’, but please do something about it so that, that one day will never ever come.

To all the criminals out there, I also do wish that all of you will think twice before doing any crime. Whether it is to rape/molest/robbery/murder/fly a plane into some buildings, have you ever thought of the consequences? Well, the very first thing would be you have your own conscience to answer. You know you will be punished, either being jailed, hanged or even death. You know your reputation is at stake since once you have criminal record it will be hard for you to find work anymore. You know you gonna hurt those whom really love you. Then do not do it, don’t let it happen, by not doing crimes, that’s something you can control then you don’t have to think of the aftermath!

As for C.E., I think it looks pretty obvious that I'm go against him all the time these days. To those whom do not know what had happened in the past, it would be that I am really against him or that I dislike him just like anybody does. BUT the main reason why I kept shooting him is because he is just an irritant without using his brains. What he says/do doesn't reflect that he is sincere in really wanting us back as friends. Seriously, If you really want us to accept you back, you better stop whining and do something about it. Reflect on yourself, kid.

As for BQT: Darling use to always say he has some liking for me thus being so emotional. But I do not want to know whether he likes me or not. I am already attached, and the thingy which he can control is his emotions. Same goes for those other people whom are very nice to me. I really appreciate it but I already found someone whom I really like. And if you really want happiness for me, please give me your blessings instead.

As for JL: I know I’m so gonna lose this friend if I don’t do anything about it. She was frustrated with me for lying and not listening to her. I don’t blame her, the fault lies in me cos I lied to her and because I never did tell her on what I want, what I believe and what was ‘the very important thingy’ which I need to do, she wouldn’t know my intentions. But I’m glad, she is willing to give me time to solve my own things. And I wanna say a big thank you to you.

Similarly for myself, I know I’m so gonna lose this relationship if I keep thinking negatively on it. And if I don’t do something, I will lose someone whom is important to me. So heck care the right time right place when I need to talk to you, even if you have to put me in a tank full of pigeons, I still will talk to you and do something about it, cos this relationship is what I really want. (Yeah I am afraid & hate pigeons).

Oh ya, I have taken about an hour and only eaten half of my breakfast to write the above. If I don't start work now, I'm so gonna mess up my work and I won't be able to go back on time to have dinner with you!~

So yea, I need to do work now already. Hah! Whoever read this, please do take some time to think over the above. There are so many examples which I can quote. But I hope you get the gist of what I want to say. Many might say why think so much? All of us are given only one brain, if we don’t make use of this powerful tool, who else will?

BUT THEN AGAIN, please do not think/do of those things which you cannot control, cos you'll miss out on the little things which you actually can do. =)

Greetings from Seoul

Was chatting with Tony today while he is working in Seoul and myself in SG office. Hah! We catch up a little on each other's life and he talked on his relationship/marriage of 15 years. As usual, I like to ask what the one thing that makes relationship works; he said ‘compromise with other’.

Today I learnt another thingy & found another June baby.

He says:
By trying hard … effort = 100%, returns 50%, sometimes dun try - returns 40%... ROE is higher without trying! So let nature take its course. You will start to learn when you are my age.

Happy Birthday in advance to you. June babies rocks! =)

Simplicity & Happiness

If only life is not so complicated, how nice would that be? That’s what people usually say, but I think it’s more on how simple you want your life to be!

I was watching ‘The Hospital’ aka 白色巨塔 and realized you actually have to watch Taiwan dramas with a very open mind and to be positive. There are so many scenarios in the show which I can relate to myself, but if I really do so, then my life would just be as sad as the show.

Simple & Happy. That’s how I want my life to be – nothing too thick in my wallet, nothing too fanciful in my wardrobe and definitely not with a high profile status. The only thing I want is to be happy the way I am and my love ones to share my happiness and to stay as happy as I do. And that’s what I’ll pray for Darling everyday too. =)

Summary of June

(Huh? Right in the middle of the month? Hah!)

Time past so fast, and it's been almost a week since we came back. I'm soOooo missing the times spent in TP, that I had not recover from the moods since I came back to work. Seriously, I didn't felt like coming back to SG especially on the last few days! And for my work tis week, it's just totally unproductive! Looks like I probably needa buck up a little & this weekend's mornings will be spent in office to do work! =(

Time past so fast, and it's been a month since I did my Epilasik. Everything is okie for now, except my vision not being sharp enough. The only thingy was I wasted some $$$ on purchasing few bottles of eyedrops which I don't need anymore. And the next consultation will be on the 20th of June where my eyesight will be assessed again.

The following two weeks will also be slightly busy for me, as my friends are already bugging me out for some catch up session & yeah, it's my month! June babies rox! I can't help hoping the day will come faster, budden again, if that day comes sooner, it means my age is increasing! Ahh! How contradicting life can be.

Anyway, Darling had been very busy with work, hopefully things will run smoothly for him and we will be able to spend time together during then & aso fulfilling the bet we had made with each other. The 666 bet. =)

Some of the food we ate

Don't drool ah!! =P

Basically their food taste similar to ours in SG but I would say they are very creative in serving out their food. The ingredients are just normal stuffs but they can come out with lotsa designs/patterns/methods in order to attract our attention!


Hong Shao Niu Rou Mian! Only NT69, but taste only soso~~



Their prata! Chong You Bing!!! Very nice especially with egg, bacon & cheese!~~~


Yummy pastry with chilled chocolate fillings! Sweet!~~


Guan Cai Ban! A deep fried thick toast, cut in the middle with a mixture of everything~~!



Ru Rou Fan, Kangkong, Fishball Soup & Fried Oyster!


Some Beef Rice Thingy~~


San Xiong Mei's MAngo ICE @ XMD!!! Darling likes it with lotsa brown sugar syrup!!!!


Guess wats inside? EscargO!!! We had 3 portions of this ah~~~


Roasted Chicken!~



Ding Tai Fung! We both agreed that SG's better!

Sorry to JL

I didn't realized that becos of 1 lie, I had to use more to cover it. But why wouldn't you tell me or talk to me about it??? I kept apologizing to you for the wrong things and in return, making you more angry! If you don't tell me directly, how would I have know what wrong I have done?

For this, I'm really sorry, I should not have lied to you or to any friends at all. This is something which I have done wrong and I shall not say or tell you not to be angry with me again. But I would still seek forgiveness from you cos I do really treasure this friendship & I promise not to lie about anything again.

I know you are also frustrated that I kept asking where all of you are going but in the end, its either I come very late else I don't show up at all. But please do know that I really wanna join you people but there's something more important which I had to do. Something was wrong and I need to get it solve first. And in order to solve this, I need time.

I know that friendship is never a transaction, but can I bet on our friendship by buying time from you?


Sorry to all.
I didn't listen cos I still believe in what I am doing. I appreciate all your concerns but this is what I want & wouldn't let go.

And one thing which I have to disagree with you all is, "What counts in making a R/S is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility."

Please believe in me and what I do. You know I could just be frustrated over why you guys are doubting over what I do, but I won't. I hope this is something which you all can learn about me and on friendship.


Sorry to me.
I have not taken care of myself. And to love someone, I have to love myself first.

I had been complaining or rather upset that we don't communicate and I feel helpless trying to know who you are. But I came to realised, there was so much to learn about the both of us when we are together. Every single person has their own way of communicating, and this is something which I have to learn & understand on.

I'm back in SG!

For some reasons, I know I have made some friends to be angry with me or rather upset with me for not telling where I have really went for the past one week AND for not listening to what had been advised/said to me.

What I can only only say is that I have my reasons for not telling AND please let me have this 50% chance cos its really important & meant alot to me!!! Cos if I don't try, I will never know...And I don't want things to be just faded through time. Call this being persistent, or call me stubborn. I just hope that you will/can understand...

I know what I want & I will fight for it

Try = 50% Win & 50% Lose.
Not Trying = 100% Lose.

This 50% is important to me, so I want to take this chance. Even if everything fails, I know I have tried...

Positive & Negative

Do you feel that that you will think more positively when you talk/be with someone positive than a negative person?

Personally, I would say yes, I tend to think more positively when I talk/be with someone positive. But even if I talk/be with someone negative, I will try to learn from that someone to become positive & hopefully he/she will feel my positive ions as well. Even though, sometimes after talking to that person you will get the same answers as what you already have thought of. Perhaps I just want to be sure of what I am doing.

I met up with TWL for dinner yday at Down Town East and based on the fact that I do not wan to eat instant noodles consecutively for two weekends.

This place has changed so much with many new facilities which probably tempt many people to visit the place since its opening. But how long would it last? I wondered...

TWL & I talked on things which made me learn, but I hope I would have the chance to put them in good use. We also talked on the perspective of people, on how they can differ between various people.

I needed some quiet time & landed in such a crowded place... But I would say that I had a good chat with TWL & felt so much better in a way or another.

Dang. I wanted so much to sing too but they didn't allow any one person singing today which I can understand that the 1 charge of mine, they probably can get 5 charges to a room.