It’s amazing how God bring people through difficult times and I believe
that in time to come. I will look back and start smiling.
Though it has been almost a year or two, I still find that knowing D was
such a miracle moment! Despite having her on my hate-list once and thinking she
was the cause of his pain (which I found out that is not true). Now, seeing her
getting free from the past of her youth and blossoming in her current
relationship... I realized that God is constantly drawing and building up two
women through the nonsensical time, into times when we can be in the arms of
His. And truly, she has my blessings.
In my previous post, I wrote “Serving God is the best way I could
express how thankful I am to Him...” And I am honored to be serving Him in the worship ministry - primarily
as a worship leader and keyboardist. At the start of this year, I enrolled to
get a Degree in Theology and though the studies may be taxing but each day I am
learning so much more about Jesus Christ than yesterday.
I do not know what the future may be like, but I know that I can put all
my trust and my life in His hands.
Serving God is the best way I could express how thankful I am to Him...
People may not agree with me spending most of my time in church or doing things related to His Kingdom. But deep down in my heart, I am reminded that He is the one whom have pulled me up from the dumps. His goodness transcends all things that had already happened in my life and His goodness still continues to pour down on me!
This evening, I am so thankful that I can stay home after the CNY reunion dinner and having a quiet reading time in my room (cos everybody is watching tv outside) and sipping my cuppa tea...
Thank You Lord, for the Divine Exchange at the Cross.
I celebrated my 30th birthday this year with my bestest pal from church. The food at Astons Prime Centrepoint was a total disappointment but the company is definitely a blessing from God!!! And I thank you all for being such an encouragement and joy in my life! =)
Time really flies and my bike turns 1 on May 8th. This transport of my own has definitely convenient me and I have the luxury of not squeezing or having that kinda long traveling time anymore. Though the weather can turn real hot if I am riding in the afternoon, but during cooler days. It is simply enjoyable. I thank God whom is always protecting me during my rides.
Today, I bought a new pair of running shoes from New Balance. And it took quite a while to find a pair which is suitable for my feet. I am thankful that I went to the right place at Novena Square and the lady whom have assisted me is helpful and patient even though I asked to try a few pairs for comparison. She even explained to me what are the differences between the few pairs before I made a decision. Thumbs up for such good service. For such good pair of shoes, the only way to qualify its goodness is to use it...thus I better utilize this pair of shoes by exercising more.
I just came back from a cruise trip to KL with my sister. In a way, I've accompanied her for this trip to celebrate her birthday on Apr 30th.
I've booked the trip with my friend with a relatively cheaper price whom is a regular. Apparently I found out she has been going almost every other weekend to gamble. And each night, her hubby and her will stay up the whole night to gamble. And in the morning she would call us up for breakfast. It seems that they have frequent the ship so often, that they are very "well known"!!!
Geez. So this is how many Singaporeans spent their time during weekends going for such holidays. No wonder the govt agreed to have casinos x 3 to be built in SG.
If I would to rate my TW trip and this cruise trip, I would certainly choose TW as it can be quite boring on board. And other than gambling, you can only eat and sleep and watch movie. Ultimate boredom.
Only one thing which can tempt me: the coconut milk shake which is at Port Klang canteen.
I realized I can't do without air-conditioner and it had to break down in such hot weather!!! My sis and I have decided to get a new one but the installation can only be done on May 13th? Argh!
Earlier this month I was in Taipei where the temperature was between 14deg - 22deg. I simply enjoyed that kinda weather!!!
Anyway, my beloved dad is so cute and loving, that he left this note for me last evening. *Bliss*
Here comes April and this month will be an part enjoying & an enriching month.
I'm flying to Taiwan this afternoon and I'll be shopping and eating with Madeleine! And so I start April off with a holiday trip...YiPpee!!!
Disciple Group starts this month too. And I'm excited that we are able to learn and grow spiritually together with other in Christ. Well, you can say it's like a cell group but it's mainly focusing on discipling and not just another care/support/eating group. And we call ourselves "Trail Blazers".
I pray that all of you may have an enriching month! =)
What would you have done if you saw someone shoplifting? I posted this on facebook and the answers are just absurd.
Today when I was buying some groceries, I saw a middle-aged woman put an item from the shelf into her bag. When she saw me, she quickly tugged her bag under her armpit and walked away.
I did look around to see if anybody was around but unfortunately, everybody was just busy with whatever they are doing. By the time, I had turned my head, the woman was no longer in sight.
Somehow, I felt...oh man, I should have stopped her. But what could I do? Probably could have walked up to her and asked her to put the item back onto the shelf, or asked her to pay for the item. It may seem awkward but I do feel that is the right thing to do.
The past 3 days had been quite dramatic for me. I had almost got myself into an accident. And the night was cold and raining heavily. As usual, I went on my common path home by ECP, however this very night, I was on the extreme left lane. It happened when I was near Bedok camp when suddenly I hit into a pothole and my bike swerved! I thought that was it, that I was gonna falling but I managed to balance it back. And a short while after, my bike stopped! -_-"! At the expressway!
I came down my bike as the auto starter just wouldn't start. I tried using the kick start but it still wouldn't start! Argh!!! I guessed I would have to walk back to Tampines, but I couldn't bear to leave my bike in the rain at the expressway. And so I walked and pushed my bike all the way from where I was, till the first exit of Xilin Avenue. And gosh, it was tiring!!! I finally gave up when I reached the first bus stop.
I just sat there pondering what had happened and what I am going to do next. I took out my phone and made a phone call with a devastating answer that all the mechanics have gone back to Msia for CNY. And my battery went flat. FLAT!!! arGH!!!
Throughout all the above, I was actually praying and praying - For my safety. For my bike to re-start. And for His protection.
I tried hailing cars down too but it seems that none wanting to stop. :( And then, a car pulled in the bus stop and my first reaction was...please lend me your phone to make a call! Please please... And they replied, sure! And it turned out to be the girl wanted to check on what buses reaches to this bus stop, that they stopped! Ahh, what a relief!!!
I managed to make a call out to Gav, asked for the tow truck number. He advised me to leave the bike there. And I put down the call. The family in car was very sweet that they wanted to bring me to Tampines but I rejected their offer as I was so drenched!
Shortly after a cab past by and I left the place leaving my bike there. Immediately I reached home, was to charge my phone and to call the tow truck shop and they say they will collect my bike within 2 hours. I managed to call the recommended bike shop too and thank God, they say just leave the bike at the shop, they will fix it the next day.
At this point of time, I was still thinking and struggling with what had happened. I sure felt freaking lousy.
The next day, I've decided to go on urgent leave. Reached the bike shop and passed them my keys. As there was nothing much to do nearby, I went bugis and bought an iphone. Later the uncle at the bike shop called and said to come collect, I was delighted! And found out that the starter couldn't start cos something was jammed due to the suspension. (That means that the installation wasn't done well). Secondly, the rear wheel is wobbly!!! But they did not have the rim thus being advised to go back to the agent which was just a road across.
I rode down to the agent and was "scolded" as it was dangerous to ride with a spoilt rear wheel. With no other choice, I had to change the entire rim which costs me about $300. Urgh!!! But no choice right? Need to change... -_-"
Everything is fine now. As I think back of the whole incident. I am reminded on His mighty hands and that He is protecting me all along...Yes I did pray and I felt so pathetic at that moment that I did not think rationally! Many times, we pray and expect God to work in the way we want it to be. But God is a big God, He not only protected me, but helped me solved an issue which was bugging me for months.
The two problems on the bike was two separate issues. Could the starter have started, I would have rode home in that wobbly wheels in the rain and that could be even dangerous. And thank God for Gav whom helped me quite abit during this whole incident. =)
Psalm 91 1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.”
it just feel strange...when a super old friend added me on facebook. I recalled the crazy crush i had on him back in my teenage days. and as i type this post, i still find him super appealing...and yes it just feel *i dunno what to say*.
at the same time, i wanna ignore all such weird feelings in my heart. as i know the pain/hurt in me have not really totally gone from the last. and as much as brothers & sisters in my church have been continuously praying for me- for a godly man to be in my life...somehow i find that i shunned any person whom tries to be funny with me/step closer to me... though i do appreciate what they are doing for me. :)
and so i spoke to my mentor...about myself - not accepting new people coming into my life... in the meantime, i am fixing my eyes on Jesus Christ...
It always puzzles me when people claims that they are not picky with food. What does that actually means?
They do not choose what they eat? They do not comment on what they eat? Or what?
It is such a hypocrisy whenever someone say that they are not picky of what they eat BUT keep complaining that the food taste yucky. These people are just so hard to please!
It is just the same saying that you can eat anything but when we’ve selected a place to dine at, one insists on eating wantonmee!
2 Timothy 1:7 (New King James Version) For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Indeed, we should have a sound mind. If it isn’t so, it probably meant we had been inputting too much junk into our head and we should be reflecting on our lifestyles.
Perhaps somewhere along the line we have misunderstood what it actually meant by being picky. But I do think we should stop having this double-mindedness.
Many people would have known that I had water baptism back in 2008 and just recently, I have decided to go for the 2nd time. The first? All I can remember is that I thought I was just a "calafare" in some drama set as I had many Singaporean artiste at the ceremony and the only one I had invited did not turned up at all.
During then, baptism was just head knowledge to me and I am thankful that God has orchestrated me to walk in Christ with CVCC. And I have grown! Yes! Not just in size but also grown to have a deeper relationship and understanding of Him.
Now, I thank God for putting me into the steps that I have gone through. I thank Holy Spirit who stirred the urgency and passion in my heart to live victoriously and to glorify God in whatever ways I do. And I thank Jesus whom have awakened me to realigned myself back to Him.
Today, the baptism is significant to me. Those of you whom have facebook would know that I have listed my resolution for 2011, and I feel that it should be ongoing: that is to die-to-self.
I come to be baptized in the repentance of my past.
I come to be baptized giving Him full control of my life.
I come to be baptized as an act of obedience, walking in the footsteps to be more and more like Jesus.
Bleahz. It's raining & it's pouring. The raincoat I've gotten last year is "shredding" away...the cloth keeps falling off in pieces!!! And I really needa get a new helmet!!! I'm still wearing the free one!!!
The "almost-gonna-be-one-year-nagging" by my mom will finally end. I had been so so busy that I really had to prioritize my task lists last year. Also, I take pride in the photos I take and I usually require abit of time to sort, manage aka 'QC' them.
The nagging issue as mentioned was for our China & HK Trip back in April 1st - 10th 2010. And yes, now that I have some time to sort it out and it makes me wanna book a flight immediately flying to HK!!! Alone!!
Why alone? There just too many things to explore; shopping, eating, sight seeing, and just relaxing somewhere...I love it when I have my own time own target moments. So yah, when I have the time. I will just fly there !!!
In fact, I find myself enjoying HK more than TW. And guess what? I won 1st prize for our Offsite 2010 which consist of 2 tickets to Taiwan and Taka vouchers. My oh my...why does it have to be TW???! Anyway, I have ebay-ed the travel vouchers. Hoping that there are people wanting to purchase it. Else, I'll just fly there and see what I can do there.
Spent the New Year weekend sleeping or watching TV at home; I just did not have the mood to go anywhere. I've probably watched more than 10 movies in the past 2-3 days and it reminded me of xman whom I used to spent weekdays/ends watching shows with him. Now, I simply do not have the availability of time to waste...
2011 marks the year that I'm gonna turn 30. And I've decided to get baptized again and the reason is because I find myself not being able to grasp hold of the meaning of baptism previously. So it's gonna be on 8th January 2011.
8 being the number of new beginnings. And my resolution for the 2011 will also be die-to-self. Just in case, anybody may find it a taboo to say such things. Perhaps you should just google on the definition of it.
2010 flies in a wink. There are so many things which happened that I couldn't even comprehend it. But I do know strongly that God is at work in me and there are so many things which He exposed and brought me into.
I think I have also clocked traveling the most in the year and the last trip was to Davao City to attend a Young Adult Conference which my senior pastor was invited to speak in. This trip is simply amazing and fruitful. All praise and glory to God!
Well, we have taken lotsa pictures of the trip and thanks to GL for creating the ppt, I've converted it into a video: -
Nevertheless, of all the crazy work schedules that really made me wanna pull out my hair. 2010 has been a good year of learning, healing and cleansing. Thank You, Lord! I look forward to serving Him more in 2011.
You walked till your legs are "sour" and then you look for the nearest place for a foot massage. You shop till your pockets are quite emptied and you have to dig coins just for a meal at the airport. Now that's what I call enjoyable.
Basic expectations and ground rules were made for the trip...And I was prepared with a netbook and some tasks on hand, just so in case my "gonna auto wake-up friend" really wakes up too late. Fortunately, I also slept slightly longer than usual and she wakes up not too long after me!
The weather was not cold but almost fantastic; bright & sunny with winds!!! And this is the first time ever being in Bangkok without perspiring lotz!!!
Now the best thing is that the both of us are decisive shoppers. We know what we want and know what we really don't want and we don't really have to hang out at one particular shop waiting for each other much. Nice means nice, ugly means ugly. You buy or you don't! Simple as that!!!
This time round, after doing some searching on a forum, we tried a hotel name Citin Pratunam, located just in Pratunam...which is so convenient!!! They have shopping and food stores just downstairs!!! There's no need to be worried that the room service is too ex, or there's nothing to do nearby your hotel. Everything is just within less than 5minutes walking distance!!! The only bad thing? There was a lizard in the room on the last hour spent in the room. *Eeks! And I wonder where did it came from*
Food was good too. We tried almost all the food we planned to eat and we had our breakfasts all at our favorite cafe - Black Canyon Coffee!!! Did I ever mentioned that the one in SG needs lotsa improvement?
Anyway, it really takes awhile finding the right partner to go for travel trips. You must have the right frequency and the right attitude. I know there's lotsa areas which different parties need to accommodate with each other. But just like the scale, if there isn't a balance, one side topples.
Cheers! And may you find your good travel partner!
I had been thinking on how a travel trip can turn into a disaster. And the only thing I could think of is that we did not share with each others expectations of the trip and to lay some simple ground rules.
Dang. It didn't happened the first time round as it was a short one and there weren't anything much else to do than to relax and enjoy the greenness.
What really pissed me off is that people taking you or things for granted. And especially the rudeness of being photographed without knowing and the pictures are being posted online in public. Oh yah! And guess what? That person wasn't a fan of being photographed...Then why go take pictures of others?
The other thingy was that one room weren't happy that their time wasn't utilized. Well, I think mine wasn't as well. But what to do? The other room had to keep buying things for her other half and friends and the rest had to follow...which leads to being tired from walking...and eventually, people just don't want to go out? Whose fault har?
As for me? Yes I've got impatient. If there were some expectations like...let's go for a shopping trip. Only shopping. Perhaps we all will have that kinda mentality to JUST SHOP. And the constant buzzing complains of being tired when we were sightsee-ing. That is just plain rude.
It was supposed to be an enjoyable trip but turn out to be a shopping list for others and a time of accommodating with different agendas. Oh man! This really is a disaster.
Yes. There are too many profiles on hand and more are coming in. Having 3 colleagues going for maternity and another resigning soon isn't helping at all.
Yet...I love working on Sundays as the office will be very quiet and I would be able to concentrate better without others calling me or asking me on stuffs. Furthermore, I am free to listen to my music without having to plug on earphones.
Anyway...I'm not quite alone in the office. There are many others working too...probably having the same reasons as I do. But ultimately, there is just too many things to do. And the inside of me is shouting, "Pay rise!!! Pay rise!!!"
I thought it's gonna be days of negativity with P, but turn out to be the other. ARGH!
In the past, these people are the ones complaining & complaining when I spend too much time/money on my love one. But now, it seems to be a different story with another couple. Was it because this other person is not in their "Hate" list?? DUH!!! Whether or not, if this person did complained; I just feel like slapping her C.X.T.H. face.
Anyway, once bitten twice shy. I'll be wiser in my selection of friends. (Preferably people whom are less emo-fied)
Yes! After all these years desiring to get my own transport! I have finally gotten a bike of my own! And today, my bike is 1 month old and it just went for its first servicing! =P
If any of you wondered why I have gotten a bike...the reason is because I really require one!!! And why not a car? Well...my current salary does not allow me to purchase a car as yet! Budden again...it is not of anybody business but mine!
This one month, it has brought me through ups(highways) and downs(slopes) and we have traveled over SG, from the east to the west, and to the north. And onto places I have not been to and some places which brings back lotsa memories.
Not forgetting the blunders I have made, like going into a carpark which does not allow motorcycles and a few cars had to reverse to let me push my bike out. And another is when the gantry didn't successfully scan my IU unit and while leaving the carpark, it just refuses to let me out and a handsome biker happens to be queuing behind me. *How embarrassing*
Nonetheless, having God's permission on this bike, it has really save me quite a sum of $$$ (from taking cabs), avoid anger (from taking public transport) and save me alot of time!!! This probably will be the most expensive birthday gift I ever bought for myself!!! And it came early too!! =)
An old friend contacted me recently and I'm amused by the things he had been interrogating me on (through SMS).
One of the most irritating question which he had asked, was what are the qualities I look for in a man? And the conversation goes on like this: -
L: Is that really important?
C: Yes...I recall you being an outdoor active girl, nice, sweet & pretty.
L: So? Anyway people change. Even if one is nice & sweet, that doesn't mean it helps in a relationship.
C: Why do you say that?
L: Why do you keep asking questions?
C: Cos I like girls whom are nice & sweet.
L: Bullshit.
C: ??? What's wrong...
L: Why talk about the qualities of the other person? I realized that is not important these days, on what kinda qualities I am looking for. But it is what the other person is looking for. U mentioned I am nice & sweet, so??? The other person might not even take these as good qualities.
C: Why not?
L: It's all about the differences and whether both of you can deal with each other on it.
C: Meaning?
L: You can be nice and sweet. But the other person thinks you are not intellectual, or one that does not read books and cannot play word games with him and disregards you as being a ideal mate?
C: Then that's his problem.
L: Well...we broke off. But I do agree with you, that's his problem. So stop asking me what kinda qualities I like in a man!!!
It's at Waffletown located at Balmoral Plaza! This place was introduced by MM and I recall that the first time I was there, I had to order a second helping and in total, I ate 4 pieces of chicken!!!
Though a little inconvenient for those whom does not have their own transport. But still, I say that you give it a try!!!
As for the name of this place, I seriously think that they should change it to Chickytown!
It's always good having time to be on my own. My sister is away and I have the whole room by myself. I like having the main lights and without putting on my headphones, I can switch on all the speakers on my computer.
I love it when I am able to pray aloud in my room, having my conversations with God. I love reading the Bible aloud and I love it when I am able to practice my keyboard without any disturbance.
I simply love every moment of this. Thank You Lord =)
I hated you(she)...but I was wrong! And I'm deeply sorry for that.
After knowing "the big discovery", I realized how stupid and silly I was. And I not stupid anymore!!! (pardon my broken language , it's from a local film. read here)
You(he) left two damaged but we were redeemed and raised up again by the grace of God.
One of my favorite things stepping into 2010 is leaving the past 2 years behind behind behind! And I will not cease thanking, praising God and agreeing with the following two verse:-
Philippians 1:12-14 (New King James Version) But I want you to know, brethren, that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel, so that it has become evident to the whole palace guard, and to all the rest, that my chains are in Christ; and most of the brethren in the Lord, having become confident by my chains, are much more bold to speak the word without fear.
Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
For too long, I mourned on the fallen relationship. And today, I pronounced it dead and buried turned to ashes, never to be revived.
Numbers 6:24-26 The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.
Lately I have not been in my best of moods due to work and some other issues. Also, I would probably not attempt watching another love comedy in recent months/years(?) as the feeling of having a moment laughing my heads off and another moment realizing how much I love someone, still remains unbearable.
I'm looking forward to my trip to Bali at the end of this month, to be welcomed by Mola molas and manta rays...yet fighting against waters which would be 16 degrees celsius cold.
Thank GOD for Your amazing love for me even though I do not deserve it. July was a happening month filled with lotsa work, church evenings & weekend trips.
Work: The few products which I'm handling had a increase in its volume due to several promotions going on. Thus I am pretty 'occupied' throughout rather than busying only between 8-20th of the mth.
Church: I am hype up for God and I am still excited for more! Now that I am attending classes...I will be in church for at least 4 times a week!! And starting Sept, if I get to be selected to join the Alpha course as a helper, it will be another evening added!~
Weekends: Happening as some might say. But I definitely need such "distractions/diversions of my mind" for the time being.
1st weekend - Diving trip @ Pulau Redang
2nd weekend - Celebrating mom's birthday @ DTE chalet having BBQ; went to Wild wild wet & BBQ-ing in the rain with some church friends.
I'm so glad that all these is finally over. The end of a very torturing week trying to block out all the tock tock tock chiang and being a runner & entertainer in the extreme heat for the whole week.
Both mentally & physically tired now...I pray that I will get total healing & restoration from God in the next two days before I start doing all of June's work to be completed in the coming week.
When I read the above today, I realized how silly & little faith of me...
Thank God for Your presence and that You once again spoke to me. Thank You so much for picking me up when I fall down each and every time. Thank You for drying up my tears so I don't kill more trees with the boxes n boxes of tissues I use each day. Thank You for the friends whom You have put around me. And last of all, Thank You for dying on the cross for me.
Ignore me in the previous post if it bothers you that I don't seem awake. I probably am not(at that point of time).
And yeah, it has only been a while and things are very much different now. Even though I may feel a little exhausted traveling home late at night as most of the time I run to church after work and weekends (Thank God for all the activities that He has arrange!). But I know that I have learn and gain so much during this period; that God will give me the strength I need and restore me to wholeness.
So many dumb things and grave mistakes I have done, for what I've called love. And so much so that the only thing I received now is just pain, hurt & heart brokenness. But why do I still do daily prayers for you...despite many people questioning me on why do I care, when you don't even care? Tsk! I don't even have an answer myself. And if I would to think...that is God's grace.
You may choose ignore me once again if I don't seem awake again.
But this is a phase which I must go through. I know Papa God is doing wonders and His transformetion will be great. =)
Even though it's been awhile and there had been many new things going on, like moving of office premises, I had been helping out very often at my church and my Lord has done alot of transformetion. But the following song still best describes my feelings now.
I used to call you my girl boy I used to call you my friend I used to call you the love The love that I never had When I think of you I don't know what to do When will I see you again
[Chorus:] I miss you like crazy Even More than words can say I miss you like crazy Every minute of every day Girl Boy I'm so down when your love's not around I miss you, miss you, miss you I miss you like crazy You are all that I want You are all that I need Can't you see how I feel Can't you see that my pain's so real When I think of you I don't know what to do When will I see you again
Few of my closest friends are going through very rough patches too. And the thing is that I could advise them but I can't apply what I have said to them on my own self. Worst, I'm crying even more than ever! And will I be the first in the world, to cry myself to death?
So prayers have been answered for them, but what about mine? I'm not questioning Papa God and perhaps He had already answered my prayers and its just that I had not been listening.
Nevertheless, I'm still glad that I am able to help in my little own way.
The world around me is making me feel so very sad...
Deadly viruses is spreading around. The financial world is crashing down. Within a country, people with authorities are fighting among themselves. And there is a big percentage of broken marriages & divorces. Seriously, what is this world becoming to?
As for myself? What can I say? You were scared & I was scared too...But you held my hands! How can I ever forget that??? You bring the world & smiles to me but only to destroy it now...
Papa God, please help us...please help this world. I believe in You. I still believe that there is true love is this world and there is pureness in people's heart. Everybody may think that I'm naive. But I still want to believe...I want to cling on to this hope in You!
Some ppl is really testing my patience. And the best thing of all is that I must love this enemy. Does this sentence sounds ironic or wrong or funny to you? But no...that wasn't my intention.
Matthew 5:44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.
I'm enjoying this walk with God every single second. Thank you, my dear Lord. =)
I have always kept the following quote from the movie "Juno" bookmarked on my favorites. And this shall remain as one of the best...
Mac MacGuff(Dad) to Juno: Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.
A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
Lord, give me the ability to be slow to anger. Take away anything in me that refuses to let go of anger over things that have happened. Help me to not get angry over that I think are injustices or personal affronts. Help me instead to quickly overlook the things that make me upset and release all my anger to You. Replace anger in me with Your love and patience. Help me to be gracious to everyone I see and to be full of compassion in all situations. Help me to not retaliate with angry words that I will ultimately regret and that will grieve Your Holy Spirit. If anyone is angry at me or convicted me for any reason, whether justified or not, help me to always give a soft and gentle answer and forsake harsh words that stir up strife. I don't want anger in me to delay my wholeness and keep me from the destiny You have for me.
Even with the situation we're in right now, my heart still goes out to him.
I do not wish to seek the easiest way out which is to give up. I WILL NOT agree to the devil or succumb to whatever circumstances we're in.
KC said to me, the one thing he would want to exchange with me is determination. Father, I beg of you please, will You grant him that determination to persevere on this relationship too?
Have you ever love somebody so much It makes you cry Have you ever needed something so bad You can't sleep at night Have you ever tried to find the words But they don't come out right Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever been in love Been in love so bad You'd do anything to make them understand Have you ever had someone steal your heart away You'd give anything to make them feel the same Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart But you don't know what to say And you don't know where to start
Have you ever love somebody so much It's make you wanna cry Have you ever needed something so bad You can't sleep at night Have you ever tried to find the words But they don't come out right Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever found the one You've dreamed of all your life You'd do anything to look into their eyes Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to you Only to find that one wont give their heart to you Have you ever closed your eyes and Dreamed that they were there And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
What do I gotta do to get to you in my arms baby What do I gotta do to get to your heart To make you understand how I need you next to me Gotta get you in my world cos baby I can't sleep...
I've just gotten the letter which states how much we are getting for our bonus. And it triggers me to do a quick review of my life for the past one year or so.
The transfer of department, gained more personal time, got in a relationship...etc. I think I shall not elaborate on these areas...
The best of 2008 is receiving salvation through my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
FYI: I titled the post, "Wake up call.." as it is a realization of things and its time to do something about it.
On second thoughts, I realized there are things which makes me wanna scream out LOUD.
I had been hesitating if I should have kept it in me by not muttering a word. But now, I decided to blog it (of cos without the major details).
1. Perhaps you are right! As from your POV, you would be like everybody else whom only gets to hear the politically right answers. How does it benefit others, by blurting your kiddo thoughts??? Don't you even know the simple fact that putting things into action isn't easy and it is impossible when people do not even see the need to lift a finger? Why don't you try achieving what you have said, if you were in my situation??!!!
2. I certainly do not deserve whatever I'm going through right now.
Jiro had to recite a poem in the drama which triggered me to google. The whole poem is too long for an entry...so you may want to read the beautiful piece here! =)
Stray Birds By Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)
1 Stray birds of summer come to my window to sing and fly away. And yellow leaves of autumn, which have no songs, flutter and fall there with a sigh.
2 O troupe of little vagrants of the world, leave your footprints in my words.
3 The world puts off its mask of vastness to its lover. It becomes small as one song, as one kiss of the eternal.
4 It is the tears of the earth that keep her smiles in bloom.
....
325 Release me from my unfulfilled past clinging to me from behind making death difficult.
326 Let this be my last word, that I trust in thy love.
Nice title isn't it? The above is a new Taiwan drama with cutie Rainie Yang and my yandao Jiro Wang! And wah wah wah wah wah!!! In the first episode, Jiro appeared in bed with only his briefs! This show is a must watch? LMAO!~
Okie...be serious!!! Just like what the poster writes, "when a agoraphobic girl (Rainie as Mo Mo) met a rinky-dink celebrity (Jiro as Mars), their love went agoraphobic..."
I think I'm gonna like the show! I wanna see how their love gonna bloom =)
I use to be the earliest to reach the office but recently I tend to take things easier at work. Or rather, I didn’t have to bother much since I transferred to this department.
However, after the ‘warning session’ last week, everybody seemed uptight and kept thinking which idiot actually complaint.
The job rotation was more like only a switch of product type and now I handle two products which only involve in ‘detailed checking of info’.
Thank God for creating those 24 hours fast food restaurant, so I can have a pack of crunchy apples to eat for dinner or issit supper?
And people usually says, "an apple a day keeps the doctor away". I say it's God blessing to me, so I can be able to afford such luxury. $2.55 for just a few slices of apple isn't something which many will get to eat, especially in those third world country.
Deep down in my heart...I am really grateful to my Lord.
I'm glad to be greeted by familiar smiling people in church last weekend and that's the marvelous thing about God. He always picks you up in whatever circumstances you are in.
My mood was tremendously awful...I can't stop crying and my heart aches badly. It is embarrassing to be seen in public with red swollen teary eyes. But when people saw me, they didn't question me on anything but just gave me a pat on my back and said, "Have faith in God, He's with you all the time..."
That was something which I really needed, not just the comforting words, but a reminder that I should always stand on Christ's solid rock than the sinking sand.
Dear Lord, Pls forgive me for my wrongdoings, I have allowed once again the darkness to fall upon me. Cast those unwanted thoughts outta me and renew my mind.
Help me to remember that nothing can happen today that You and I can't handle together.
I know that You are using difficulties to make me better - not bitter. And I can trust You for all the unknown future. In Jesus name I pray...Amen!
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken. Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle’s compass come: Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved. - William Shakespeare
I did two somewhat sad thingyz today and that is to throw away my favorite blouse which was torn beyond mending and my 'chao chao' aka bolster of dunno how many years.
Although the top being torn and the bolster already melting away, it actually took me quite awhile to decide dumping them down the chute.
Now that both items are gone...I'm glad I do not need to see the day where bed bugs crawl or leave chance for any to have an impression that I only have that top in my wardrobe.
Cheers! It's probably time for some shopping? Tsk tsk*
Though the end of 2008 & start of 2009 was kinda %&#@$^...that had me making the first resolution of the year which is to be happy & wanting more in my spiritual growth.
There hasn't been much post recently as I tend to blog in my mind these days and when I want to write it out, I can't recall most of it.
I certainly hope that this is not a sign of aging but a sign that I do not want to be reminded of things which easily mess up my mind.
Nevertheless, I pray that 2009 will be another good year for everybody. God Bless!
Typing the topic seems funny. Cos there's another movie screened recently named Ip Man but everybody reads it as I.P. Man...
Anyway, the DDs(Double Daters) went to watch Yes Man last night. Though I wasn't really in the mood for a comedy, I tried my best to pay attention to the movie.
I like the part when both of them travels to unknown places doing all the craziest thing ever. But all these, only comes if you are willing to do so. Perhaps, initially he had to agree due to the "Yes Covenant", but after all the good/bad things happened to him, he realized life became/were different.
Life isn't mundane as it is. It is only colorful if you want it to...
If your heart has been shattered to million pieces, let me be the one to glue you back together. I will do whatever it takes to piece you back again, and I promise to never lose my grip.
I can still recall the last part of my dream where I ran around in the rain searching for JL (probably for some comfort), also crying and screaming frantically, "God...is that true? Is that true?"
My heart is thumping fast and I'm still trying to catch my breath.
I'm getting a little tired over all the nasty comments. I'm also feeling a little mentally exhausted on the things that came into my knowledge recently.
We ought to filter what we hear and see. We should not indiscriminately allow inputs into our inner man.
Mark 4:24 Consider carefully what you hear," he continued. "With the measure you use, it will be measured to you—and even more.
So wise indeed, I really needa practice the above.
It's a good excuse to cry today and since my eyes is still a little teary due to the sensitivity to light from my op on Wednesday, I doubt anybody would actually bother if I sit in my cubicle and cry facing my monitor screen.
Dear Lord...will you please be with me?
And He answers...
Philippians 2:14-16 Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.
Part 1 I find it difficult to decide on whether to go for the Manado trip in April 09.
Even after a week of consideration and a second time asking from my instructor, I said to count me in but later felt ultra uneasy and got him to halt the booking of my flight.
I tried listing down all the possible reasons on what's stopping me and what's not but still couldn't convince myself to a decision.
I began to ask close friends on why I'm having this kinda feeling resulting all sorta answers/ways to decide and yes, I even wrote to darling asking for his opinions which could probably help to the firming up on my decision. But never got a reply...
There is this unrest in me which I really do not know how to describe... But I guess I should conclude, as the last time I had this kinda feeling, there was the tsunami.
Part 2 I fell from a flight of steps, hurting my butt & ankle last evening. Having the blue black kinda pain on both my butt cheeks and few pieces of skin scrapped off showing some white white meat/stuffs on my ankle. I don't think I needa describe further the kinda pain I'm experiencing.
I was dazed by the fall and was with darling when I fell but I guess nothing much could be done as he had to stay for a meeting with his partners.
On my way back alone, I was almost on the verge of crying, but did not, till early morning when I didn't hear any sound even after his meeting. Talk about replying when you are free, I didn't get any when you really are but most of the time seeing him first on his pc replying to others on his forums. To this, I felt like a sore loser. Losing myself to his work/pc/forums which sometimes get me wondering if those ppl really bother on what he writes or just wanting to make use of his expertise.
We had a talk after that as our smses didn't get us anywhere but saying words which are going the untrue and hurting way. Although it didn't started out that well either as I began to spurt out certain things which I would have kept quiet till grave, such as, I really hate what D had done to you but still I prayed well for her.
About the right timing and place to talk to you, when do I ever get the chance, other than this method? In a way, I'm glad we straightened some things out and like I said, if I have to resort to falling down just to talk with you this much again. I would...
I haven't been watching horror movies for quite some time. If I do have to recall, my exS were far more scared than I am while watching horror shows which left me feeling more frightened instead.
But I had noticed (after watching "Poltergeist" at the chalet) that I don't feel disturbed after watching horror movies with my dearest! Perhaps it's this sense of security that I get/feel from him and I hope I did not numbed/break his fingers while watching "The Coffin" and "Rec", as there were a few scenes which I had grabbed his hand rather tightly.
Probably in the past, I was confused on how such supernatural stuffs could take place and kept thinking if it was real, even after few weeks. But now, on the second day, I wasn't really thinking as I also know that I only have God to fear.
But the 1 thingy which left me thinking after "The Coffin" was that I hope darling would keep himself healthy & alive, not dying earlier than I do, for I will be very sad and I find it very hard to overcome. It's not that I'm selfish and wanna leave first, leaving him behind...but I believe he'll be stronger than I am. And I do pray that he will take care of himself; sometimes he really get me worrying seeing him eating all those ultra sweet stuffs, junk food and having irregular/short resting hours.
Time simply flew through the past few weeks which had kept me running around to the completion of the thingy which I was doing. And thanks to MM whom had assisted and SM & JJ whom have sealed their lips. Finally I can blog about it!
I'm glad that you like what you had received. And the thingy which I realized was when you had that one wish which everybody says would come true, we often used it on the one whom really matters. I did that too.
I had fun & enjoyed last weekend with you at Turi Beach Resort Batam - a very last minute decision which bookings were only made the day before we left.
Spending time with you just strolling by the beach, admiring the sea view from our room, listening to the waves and getting our fingers dirty eating all those seafood are moments which I'll never forget.
You gave me that silly little girl's giggles when you piggyback me in the waters around the pool; some feeling which I had never felt before; wanting to just hold you tight and never let you go.
(Ya, the pool ok. I didn't torture him to piggyback me on land!)
And thank you for saving me up when I flew off the banana boat so many times. The jet ski ride was fun too but I was just afraid to speed & lose control of it and might get you hurt.
I guess whatever I wanna say is already in what I had given to you. And I'll pray that you will always keep those messages in your heart...
Judging from the definition on dictionary.com, I definitely don't seem like one. Cos if I am a perfectionist, I probably wouldn't be who/what I am now.
Ahh...okies. Perhaps I had been putting too much pressure on myself on the things that I'm doing and I had unknowingly set myself no room for any mistakes on it.
But I guess by doing the above, no doubt of its importance, it is already a big mistake.
Chill out & Trust in God...I need to say this to myself.
Eventful Oct has ended and it's simply wonderful! A-mei's concert, WL's wedding, my day with Darling @ Escape Theme Park & WildWildWet and my baptism ceremony.
WL's wedding was held at RCC and the place is rather scenic & peaceful. Darling was the emcee that night and I felt that he really did a great job. Too bad, he wasn't wearing his jacket that night which has always reminded me the very first time he came to AMK S-11 meeting me wearing his jacket before he goes off for a client's company event. Very smart looking okay? :winkz:
My day with my dearest @ Escape Theme Park & Wildwildwet was terrific!! As not many turned up for the chalet, we were left with free entrance tickets to these places. The theme park proved to be that they will be heading for a closure with such little rides. The more exciting ones are the Viking (which got darling screaming), the Inverter & the Go-kart.
Next was Wildwildwet, the weather was so hot that day, we just couldn't resist jumping into the waters. We tried almost all rides, and the most memorable ones would be "Slide Up" and the "Tsunami". I guess the 'ugliest' that darling had seen of me would be when we were falling from Slide up's 4 storey high ramp. Gosh!!! As I was the heavier one, I had to sit in the position where I faced down during the slide. It really got me mouth-opened screaming and scared that we might fall. But I think this kinda adrenalin rush is just perfect!!!
Well, as for the "Tsunami" - the wave pool, we were competing against each other on whom swam faster and to successfully get on the float first. And that struggling made us lose our locker key leaving us in a bet on who would be the first to retrieve the key after the heavy downpour towards the evening. Ahh...once again, I guess I wasn't detailed enough and lost the bet as he did found the key after I gave up on the search.
All the above playing really got us tired, sunburnt and peeling. But it was really enjoyable; I love to spend weekends with you. =)
Lastly, my baptism ceremony was rather a quiet one and I had only invited darling (whom didn't manage to make it) and Betty (whom couldn't make it either as she will be leaving for her long vacation the very same day). Although I was a little disappointed... God had 'distracted' my attention as there were many Mediacorp artiste, such as Ivy Lee, Jacelyn Tay, Li Nan Xing, Chew Chor Meng, Fann & Chris turning up at my church! And that's becos, Rayson Tan (Chen Li Ping's hubby) was also baptized the same day. Nonetheless, I'm glad that I am finally now, an official Child of God.
And I want to praise and thank Him for all the above wonderful times. Now...I really look forward to the month of November - Darling's month. =)
There is a sense of happiness & fulfillment in me today that I feel like I am swinging a basket in one hand and skipping my way home(you know like in those fairytale). But of cos I cannot do that in real else I'd probably drop dead halfway back or create the first massive earthquake in SG. =X
Recently, I went to try out a few things which I have never done before in my life. I must admit that I am getting the hang of it, totally enjoyed the entire process and addicted.
I wondered why I did not pursue in this line even though I do have great interest in it, but even if I wanted to, I'm probably too old for it now, need to go for some plastic surgery & drop to a weight of like 40kg? Erm...that is like so impossible.
Nevertheless, it's a wonderful experience and I thank God for giving me the courage and for providing all the resources I need. Praise the Lord! =)
This is an overdue post - I went for A-mei's concert on 4th Oct at the indoor stadium & it's totally awesome! I really enjoyed myself & I hope KC and my group of friends had a good time too.
Since I was a teenager, A-mei has been my favorite singer with a powerful vocal which I admire. She isn't one whom has a cutie face or with a nose-bleeding figure, but it was mainly due to her hard work and determination which brought her to fame and becoming successful.
Many of her songs are already stuck in my mind and it's really hard not to sing along at her concert or at any KTV sessions that I go to. I do have to admit that I had shed a few tears while singing/listening to some of her songs recently, which best describes my feelings and thoughts.
There is some migration work to be done by this week and I only get to know today? Hah! It's time to wave my hands in the air as I won't have to complain that I will be bored or have nothing to do at work!
I attended 3 weddings since the past few weeks and 2 more are coming up in Nov. Despite all the merry sabotaging to the newly wedded couple, I'm getting to feel a little bored as I find all 'procedures' seemed similar.
I'm looking forward to attending the ones in Nov as they will be held in churches. Though some friends were mentioning it could also get a little boring and strict, I do hope mine will be held in a church...
I was with my F4 gang - MM, JJ & SM on Friday @ waffletown and had the yummiEst fried chicken! Served hot & crispy, the meat is so nice & tender that I had 4 pieces of it, which is probably the most no. of pieces I ever ate in any one meal. Their waffles wasn't that fantastic as I find it's somewhat tasteless. Perhaps they should consider changing their name to chickytown instead.
Sat & Sunday was simply great too as I've got to spend some time with my dearest darling despite his busy work schedule. :MUacks:
We went to Ichi's hse for some briefing on his wedding, followed by dinner @ Uno Beef House which is located at a kopidiam in Toa Payoh Lorong 5. It's really good!! Definitely SO MUCH BEtter than Aston which I would strongly discouraged anybody to try.
Met up with darling on Sunday evening as well & we went for "Mamma Mia"! And if any of you whom have not watch this movie, ya better go catch the show before it goes offscreen!
The scenes which is on a small island of Greece is really captivating! And I really enjoyed the songs & dance in the show that I even sang along. Hopefully, I did not made deaf anybody's ears at the cinema! Anyway, I really envy her wedding - held in a chapel, the hanging lamps used at the dinner, the back lights which made the ambience very romantic & sweet! =X
It's raining elephants & hippos in Singapore and my neighborhood is sorta flooded by all the construction work going on.
I had my bit of fun slipper-walking through puddles of water today & I thought it would be great skipping around with rubber boots! Haha!
My huge umbrella didn't help cover much of me & my bag; I seemed to be more worried if my new purchase will be ruined.
I've got hooked to it since yesterday and I wished I had more energy to keep myself awake to finish reading the whole book. Now I can't wait to get my hands on the other but it's just bad luck for me that the store only has the last copy and its torn!
Val's entry on 911 had triggered me to write this. So what was I doing during this terrible incident?
I was working with SIA(one of the dream company I want to be in) @ the HR department under the recruitment & selection for the IT department. Being someone with just an O' Lvl cert and of no relevant job experience, it seems like the impossible thingy, especially in the government sector. But I've got the chance of a temporary contract and was already on the to-be-converted to a permanent staff stage.
Unfortunately, all things changed because of 911 terrorist crash incident. This has affected the aviation industries quite badly. All available headcounts froze, and many even got retrenched. For me, my hopes with SIA vanished, just like WTC.
The lucky thingy that came outta this? I got employed with Keppel. And thank God for that. =)
I dislike people scolding vulgarities. I find it rude & a form of disrespect. And foul language being scolded at you from a friend because he don't see eye to eye with you on something.
You probably must be wondering why I said in my earlier entry that I'm having difficulty reading in low-light areas.
Unfortunately to say, I'm still left with a +100 astigmatism on my right eye. And the next is to wait for 3 months to ensure that it's stabilize before I go for an enhancement.
Frankly speaking, I'm not so afraid of having another surgery but more hoping that they do it soonest! But my guess that the earliest 'eyesight perfection' will only be Christmas!
I bought myself another Bible today and carefully stick the index tabs for easy-referencing(it took me about an hour).
The reason for this new purchase is that I'm having difficulty reading in low-light areas and at early hours in the morning like between 4AM - 7AM. And since my other Bible is small & compact for most handbags, you can probably figure how small the fonts are!
What's with the size of the bowl? I have never been to Japan but do they really use such huge eating utensils? Furthermore, it's actually kinda tiring eating with the chopsticks that is also too short!
Nevertheless, I had a great lunch with Elle last week. =)
I deserve to be shot dead for the blog entry before this. For I had let lousy emotions affected me rather than believing wholeheartedly that God is doing good in/for me. I failed to understand on the Word; the very first which I 'memorized' & put in heart in my Christ walk.
Ecclesiastes 9:11 - I have seen something else under the sun, the race is not to the swift, or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.
It's time I do something about it, else just shoot me dead!
Was my life ruined by my own hands? My stubbornness or rebellious self?
What happens if I had been following the path my parents had wanted me to take? Would things be different now?
Since younger days, there were so many things which I had done well & could have achieve better, such as academic & sports , but I did not. I took another route which lead me to today.
OMG! I think I'm going mad or something.
I came to know or rather found out a few things recently which made me feel belittled & lacking of confidence. I just feel ugly, stupid & dumb & should be non-existence on earth.
And I try to ask & seek for an answer from God, why am I here for? WHY? :(
I'm still human & not made of steel/metal/bronze ok, and not as great as everybody finds me to be. I still feel some sort of frustration & sadness sometimes when I can't get to meet you each day or when some things don't get in my way. But I'll learn that it's not my way, it is God's way - for me to be patient and understanding.
Colossians 1:16 For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.
All the while, I have not thought much ahead till recent happenings to myself. A big decision which I had made, not only for myself but ‘for whatever the matter’ is too. While I always thought I could do it; when come to the actual situation, I could not. And this was the biggest guilt in my mind...
Having thoughts into the future because of the above (but this has been in my mind even before any of you might have know me). Simplicity - that's all I ever wanted. And if you want to talk about marriage; I want a happy marriage & marriage vows to be exchanged in a church with the one I love and love me. These vows are significant and meaningful that it overwrites anything! I have never thought of wanting a wedding ceremony neither nor to live in a big house. I want no celebration, no decorations, no buffet, etc. Perhaps these were things which someone else might have wished for, but these are certainly not what I want!!!
You also mentioned that you feel it’s only right to provide and had/gonna spent lotsa time trying to build this. Much as I understand your well-planned intentions, but during this process if we had neglected each others’ feelings, causing our feelings to fade or simple cease in time to come. No matter how much money one earns, we can never buy back the time loss and the feelings we had for each other.
Planning is always one thingy, striking a balance is another. I know it’s never easy for anybody to do so, but we just got to try & never give up.
As much as I hope that I can spent more time with you each day and that each weekend will be longer, I know this is not possible. But I still try my very best...
Somewhat my heart has not rested since the day we got together (sounds stupid, if my heart rest, it probably meant that I’m dead). No doubt, I want to shout out loud that I love you, and wanting more in our relationship; I am afraid I might fall badly and never to get up again. There are many fears in my heart and one of them which you already had mentioned, but I know God will give me strength, dispels all fears and always be my pillar.
Perhaps this is one of the reasons which lead me so close to God; there is no other whom I converse so much each day of my daily life.
There is so much that I want to help you with, in every aspect of your life but I know there are limitations to what I could do, except to pray – for patience & strength, for our healing and that we will grow further in this relationship, together with God.
You may have a hard time relating to people in social situations, Linda. Perhaps you are frustrated by hearing the same shallow conversations over and over again. While you stand there mingling with dozens of different people, all you can think of is how nice it would be if you could just be home alone on your own couch in front of the TV. Your best plan of attack is to simply avoid situations that you know you won't enjoy. There is no sense in torturing yourself.
Hah! The above has gotta be the best to describe my day. But I still went to meet my ex-colleagues + a 4 mth old baby today as they had been complaining that I had vanished.
So many things happened recently; not only to myself, and also to other friends, till I do not know what I should be feeling now but just wanting to pray.
I understand that things happen for a good reason, however such trials of life isn't very fun and can hurt badly. It would be good if I'm made of metal but I'm not. My heart do aches.
And I pray... Please, my dear Lord. Help me! Keep me away from these...
I went to watch 'Money No Enough 2' last night and it's been a long time since I laughed so much. Especially the part when the mother kept asking, "Ah Hui, you have come home ah? Have you eaten?" It was supposed to be a sad scene, but it was the way the question was being asked repeatedly and responded by Ah Hui which kept me laughing till I teared.
Other than this, the show does portray on the lives of Singaporeans these days. I applause Jack Neo's ideas of removing the ERPs gantries & making them into sculptures instead. Hah!
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