What a day...

Part 1
I find it difficult to decide on whether to go for the Manado trip in April 09.

Even after a week of consideration and a second time asking from my instructor, I said to count me in but later felt ultra uneasy and got him to halt the booking of my flight.

I tried listing down all the possible reasons on what's stopping me and what's not but still couldn't convince myself to a decision.

I began to ask close friends on why I'm having this kinda feeling resulting all sorta answers/ways to decide and yes, I even wrote to darling asking for his opinions which could probably help to the firming up on my decision. But never got a reply...

There is this unrest in me which I really do not know how to describe... But I guess I should conclude, as the last time I had this kinda feeling, there was the tsunami.

Part 2
I fell from a flight of steps, hurting my butt & ankle last evening. Having the blue black kinda pain on both my butt cheeks and few pieces of skin scrapped off showing some white white meat/stuffs on my ankle. I don't think I needa describe further the kinda pain I'm experiencing.

I was dazed by the fall and was with darling when I fell but I guess nothing much could be done as he had to stay for a meeting with his partners.

On my way back alone, I was almost on the verge of crying, but did not, till early morning when I didn't hear any sound even after his meeting. Talk about replying when you are free, I didn't get any when you really are but most of the time seeing him first on his pc replying to others on his forums. To this, I felt like a sore loser. Losing myself to his work/pc/forums which sometimes get me wondering if those ppl really bother on what he writes or just wanting to make use of his expertise.

We had a talk after that as our smses didn't get us anywhere but saying words which are going the untrue and hurting way. Although it didn't started out that well either as I began to spurt out certain things which I would have kept quiet till grave, such as, I really hate what D had done to you but still I prayed well for her.

About the right timing and place to talk to you, when do I ever get the chance, other than this method? In a way, I'm glad we straightened some things out and like I said, if I have to resort to falling down just to talk with you this much again. I would...

Horror Movies

I haven't been watching horror movies for quite some time. If I do have to recall, my exS were far more scared than I am while watching horror shows which left me feeling more frightened instead.

But I had noticed (after watching "Poltergeist" at the chalet) that I don't feel disturbed after watching horror movies with my dearest! Perhaps it's this sense of security that I get/feel from him and I hope I did not numbed/break his fingers while watching "The Coffin" and "Rec", as there were a few scenes which I had grabbed his hand rather tightly.

Probably in the past, I was confused on how such supernatural stuffs could take place and kept thinking if it was real, even after few weeks. But now, on the second day, I wasn't really thinking as I also know that I only have God to fear.

But the 1 thingy which left me thinking after "The Coffin" was that I hope darling would keep himself healthy & alive, not dying earlier than I do, for I will be very sad and I find it very hard to overcome. It's not that I'm selfish and wanna leave first, leaving him behind...but I believe he'll be stronger than I am. And I do pray that he will take care of himself; sometimes he really get me worrying seeing him eating all those ultra sweet stuffs, junk food and having irregular/short resting hours.

Please. Will you take care of yourself?

Finally I can blog about it!

Time simply flew through the past few weeks which had kept me running around to the completion of the thingy which I was doing. And thanks to MM whom had assisted and SM & JJ whom have sealed their lips. Finally I can blog about it!

I'm glad that you like what you had received. And the thingy which I realized was when you had that one wish which everybody says would come true, we often used it on the one whom really matters. I did that too.


I had fun & enjoyed last weekend with you at Turi Beach Resort Batam - a very last minute decision which bookings were only made the day before we left.

Spending time with you just strolling by the beach, admiring the sea view from our room, listening to the waves and getting our fingers dirty eating all those seafood are moments which I'll never forget.

You gave me that silly little girl's giggles when you piggyback me in the waters around the pool; some feeling which I had never felt before; wanting to just hold you tight and never let you go.

(Ya, the pool ok. I didn't torture him to piggyback me on land!)

And thank you for saving me up when I flew off the banana boat so many times. The jet ski ride was fun too but I was just afraid to speed & lose control of it and might get you hurt.

I guess whatever I wanna say is already in what I had given to you. And I'll pray that you will always keep those messages in your heart...

I love you.

Am I a perfectionist?

Judging from the definition on dictionary.com, I definitely don't seem like one. Cos if I am a perfectionist, I probably wouldn't be who/what I am now.

Ahh...okies. Perhaps I had been putting too much pressure on myself on the things that I'm doing and I had unknowingly set myself no room for any mistakes on it.

But I guess by doing the above, no doubt of its importance, it is already a big mistake.

Chill out & Trust in God...I need to say this to myself.

End of Oct

Eventful Oct has ended and it's simply wonderful! A-mei's concert, WL's wedding, my day with Darling @ Escape Theme Park & WildWildWet and my baptism ceremony.

WL's wedding was held at RCC and the place is rather scenic & peaceful. Darling was the emcee that night and I felt that he really did a great job. Too bad, he wasn't wearing his jacket that night which has always reminded me the very first time he came to AMK S-11 meeting me wearing his jacket before he goes off for a client's company event. Very smart looking okay? :winkz:

My day with my dearest @ Escape Theme Park & Wildwildwet was terrific!! As not many turned up for the chalet, we were left with free entrance tickets to these places. The theme park proved to be that they will be heading for a closure with such little rides. The more exciting ones are the Viking (which got darling screaming), the Inverter & the Go-kart.

Next was Wildwildwet, the weather was so hot that day, we just couldn't resist jumping into the waters. We tried almost all rides, and the most memorable ones would be "Slide Up" and the "Tsunami". I guess the 'ugliest' that darling had seen of me would be when we were falling from Slide up's 4 storey high ramp. Gosh!!! As I was the heavier one, I had to sit in the position where I faced down during the slide. It really got me mouth-opened screaming and scared that we might fall. But I think this kinda adrenalin rush is just perfect!!!

Well, as for the "Tsunami" - the wave pool, we were competing against each other on whom swam faster and to successfully get on the float first. And that struggling made us lose our locker key leaving us in a bet on who would be the first to retrieve the key after the heavy downpour towards the evening. Ahh...once again, I guess I wasn't detailed enough and lost the bet as he did found the key after I gave up on the search.

All the above playing really got us tired, sunburnt and peeling. But it was really enjoyable; I love to spend weekends with you. =)

Lastly, my baptism ceremony was rather a quiet one and I had only invited darling (whom didn't manage to make it) and Betty (whom couldn't make it either as she will be leaving for her long vacation the very same day). Although I was a little disappointed... God had 'distracted' my attention as there were many Mediacorp artiste, such as Ivy Lee, Jacelyn Tay, Li Nan Xing, Chew Chor Meng, Fann & Chris turning up at my church! And that's becos, Rayson Tan (Chen Li Ping's hubby) was also baptized the same day. Nonetheless, I'm glad that I am finally now, an official Child of God.

And I want to praise and thank Him for all the above wonderful times. Now...I really look forward to the month of November - Darling's month. =)

Smile!

There is a sense of happiness & fulfillment in me today that I feel like I am swinging a basket in one hand and skipping my way home(you know like in those fairytale). But of cos I cannot do that in real else I'd probably drop dead halfway back or create the first massive earthquake in SG. =X

Recently, I went to try out a few things which I have never done before in my life. I must admit that I am getting the hang of it, totally enjoyed the entire process and addicted.

I wondered why I did not pursue in this line even though I do have great interest in it, but even if I wanted to, I'm probably too old for it now, need to go for some plastic surgery & drop to a weight of like 40kg? Erm...that is like so impossible.

Nevertheless, it's a wonderful experience and I thank God for giving me the courage and for providing all the resources I need. Praise the Lord! =)

A-mei r0cks!!!

This is an overdue post - I went for A-mei's concert on 4th Oct at the indoor stadium & it's totally awesome! I really enjoyed myself & I hope KC and my group of friends had a good time too.



Since I was a teenager, A-mei has been my favorite singer with a powerful vocal which I admire. She isn't one whom has a cutie face or with a nose-bleeding figure, but it was mainly due to her hard work and determination which brought her to fame and becoming successful.

Many of her songs are already stuck in my mind and it's really hard not to sing along at her concert or at any KTV sessions that I go to. I do have to admit that I had shed a few tears while singing/listening to some of her songs recently, which best describes my feelings and thoughts.

Dang!

There is some migration work to be done by this week and I only get to know today? Hah! It's time to wave my hands in the air as I won't have to complain that I will be bored or have nothing to do at work!

Weddings.

I attended 3 weddings since the past few weeks and 2 more are coming up in Nov. Despite all the merry sabotaging to the newly wedded couple, I'm getting to feel a little bored as I find all 'procedures' seemed similar.

I'm looking forward to attending the ones in Nov as they will be held in churches. Though some friends were mentioning it could also get a little boring and strict, I do hope mine will be held in a church...

Goodbye Sept

Praying that you will take care of your health.
Praying that you will live a happier life.
Praying that you are just by my side.

Happy wkend~

I had a great weekend last week!

I was with my F4 gang - MM, JJ & SM on Friday @ waffletown and had the yummiEst fried chicken! Served hot & crispy, the meat is so nice & tender that I had 4 pieces of it, which is probably the most no. of pieces I ever ate in any one meal. Their waffles wasn't that fantastic as I find it's somewhat tasteless. Perhaps they should consider changing their name to chickytown instead.

Sat & Sunday was simply great too as I've got to spend some time with my dearest darling despite his busy work schedule. :MUacks:

We went to Ichi's hse for some briefing on his wedding, followed by dinner @ Uno Beef House which is located at a kopidiam in Toa Payoh Lorong 5. It's really good!! Definitely SO MUCH BEtter than Aston which I would strongly discouraged anybody to try.

Met up with darling on Sunday evening as well & we went for "Mamma Mia"! And if any of you whom have not watch this movie, ya better go catch the show before it goes offscreen!

The scenes which is on a small island of Greece is really captivating! And I really enjoyed the songs & dance in the show that I even sang along. Hopefully, I did not made deaf anybody's ears at the cinema! Anyway, I really envy her wedding - held in a chapel, the hanging lamps used at the dinner, the back lights which made the ambience very romantic & sweet! =X



Thank God for such a marvelous weekend! =)

Hooked.

It's raining elephants & hippos in Singapore and my neighborhood is sorta flooded by all the construction work going on.

I had my bit of fun slipper-walking through puddles of water today & I thought it would be great skipping around with rubber boots! Haha!

My huge umbrella didn't help cover much of me & my bag; I seemed to be more worried if my new purchase will be ruined.

I've got hooked to it since yesterday and I wished I had more energy to keep myself awake to finish reading the whole book. Now I can't wait to get my hands on the other but it's just bad luck for me that the store only has the last copy and its torn!

兴奋！

突然觉得很兴奋！可能是因为想到有重要的事要做，所以感觉如此。
虽然会有一点困难，但我知道自己一定会成功!

我祈求上帝能帮助我完成我的心愿! =)

911

Val's entry on 911 had triggered me to write this. So what was I doing during this terrible incident?

I was working with SIA(one of the dream company I want to be in) @ the HR department under the recruitment & selection for the IT department. Being someone with just an O' Lvl cert and of no relevant job experience, it seems like the impossible thingy, especially in the government sector. But I've got the chance of a temporary contract and was already on the to-be-converted to a permanent staff stage.

Unfortunately, all things changed because of 911 terrorist crash incident. This has affected the aviation industries quite badly. All available headcounts froze, and many even got retrenched. For me, my hopes with SIA vanished, just like WTC.

The lucky thingy that came outta this? I got employed with Keppel. And thank God for that. =)

Foul day

I dislike people scolding vulgarities. I find it rude & a form of disrespect. And foul language being scolded at you from a friend because he don't see eye to eye with you on something.

THAT'S EVEN WORST!

Epi-Lasik Update

You probably must be wondering why I said in my earlier entry that I'm having difficulty reading in low-light areas.

Unfortunately to say, I'm still left with a +100 astigmatism on my right eye. And the next is to wait for 3 months to ensure that it's stabilize before I go for an enhancement.

Frankly speaking, I'm not so afraid of having another surgery but more hoping that they do it soonest! But my guess that the earliest 'eyesight perfection' will only be Christmas!

Ahh! I really must pray on this one...

Size does matters!

I bought myself another Bible today and carefully stick the index tabs for easy-referencing(it took me about an hour).

The reason for this new purchase is that I'm having difficulty reading in low-light areas and at early hours in the morning like between 4AM - 7AM. And since my other Bible is small & compact for most handbags, you can probably figure how small the fonts are!

Big Bowl

What's with the size of the bowl? I have never been to Japan but do they really use such huge eating utensils? Furthermore, it's actually kinda tiring eating with the chopsticks that is also too short!

Nevertheless, I had a great lunch with Elle last week. =)

Pic taken @ Waraku

Shoot me dead.

I deserve to be shot dead for the blog entry before this. For I had let lousy emotions affected me rather than believing wholeheartedly that God is doing good in/for me. I failed to understand on the Word; the very first which I 'memorized' & put in heart in my Christ walk.

Ecclesiastes 9:11 - I have seen something else under the sun, the race is not to the swift, or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.

It's time I do something about it, else just shoot me dead!

I hope this isn't just a big joke!

Was my life ruined by my own hands? My stubbornness or rebellious self?

What happens if I had been following the path my parents had wanted me to take? Would things be different now?

Since younger days, there were so many things which I had done well & could have achieve better, such as academic & sports , but I did not. I took another route which lead me to today.

OMG! I think I'm going mad or something.

I came to know or rather found out a few things recently which made me feel belittled & lacking of confidence. I just feel ugly, stupid & dumb & should be non-existence on earth.

And I try to ask & seek for an answer from God, why am I here for? WHY? :(