luke warm...

it just feel strange...when a super old friend added me on facebook. I recalled the crazy crush i had on him back in my teenage days. and as i type this post, i still find him super appealing...and yes it just feel *i dunno what to say*.

at the same time, i wanna ignore all such weird feelings in my heart. as i know the pain/hurt in me have not really totally gone from the last. and as much as brothers & sisters in my church have been continuously praying for me- for a godly man to be in my life...somehow i find that i shunned any person whom tries to be funny with me/step closer to me... though i do appreciate what they are doing for me. :)

and so i spoke to my mentor...about myself - not accepting new people coming into my life... in the meantime, i am fixing my eyes on Jesus Christ...

Make up your mind!

It always puzzles me when people claims that they are not picky with food.
What does that actually means?

They do not choose what they eat? They do not comment on what they eat? Or what?

It is such a hypocrisy whenever someone say that they are not picky of what they eat BUT keep complaining that the food taste yucky. These people are just so hard to please!

It is just the same saying that you can eat anything but when we’ve selected a place to dine at, one insists on eating wantonmee!

2 Timothy 1:7 (New King James Version)
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Indeed, we should have a sound mind. If it isn’t so, it probably meant we had been inputting too much junk into our head and we should be reflecting on our lifestyles.

Perhaps somewhere along the line we have misunderstood what it actually meant by being picky. But I do think we should stop having this double-mindedness.

Truly Amazing!

Many people would have known that I had water baptism back in 2008 and just recently, I have decided to go for the 2nd time. The first? All I can remember is that I thought I was just a "calafare" in some drama set as I had many Singaporean artiste at the ceremony and the only one I had invited did not turned up at all.

During then, baptism was just head knowledge to me and I am thankful that God has orchestrated me to walk in Christ with CVCC. And I have grown! Yes! Not just in size but also grown to have a deeper relationship and understanding of Him.

Now, I thank God for putting me into the steps that I have gone through. I thank Holy Spirit who stirred the urgency and passion in my heart to live victoriously and to glorify God in whatever ways I do. And I thank Jesus whom have awakened me to realigned myself back to Him.

Today, the baptism is significant to me. Those of you whom have facebook would know that I have listed my resolution for 2011, and I feel that it should be ongoing: that is to die-to-self.

I come to be baptized in the repentance of my past.

I come to be baptized giving Him full control of my life.

I come to be baptized as an act of obedience, walking in the footsteps to be more and more like Jesus.

Praise God! =)

To purchase!

1. New raincoat
2. New helmet

Bleahz. It's raining & it's pouring. The raincoat I've gotten last year is "shredding" away...the cloth keeps falling off in pieces!!! And I really needa get a new helmet!!! I'm still wearing the free one!!!

iHeart HK!!!

The "almost-gonna-be-one-year-nagging" by my mom will finally end. I had been so so busy that I really had to prioritize my task lists last year. Also, I take pride in the photos I take and I usually require abit of time to sort, manage aka 'QC' them.

The nagging issue as mentioned was for our China & HK Trip back in April 1st - 10th 2010. And yes, now that I have some time to sort it out and it makes me wanna book a flight immediately flying to HK!!! Alone!!

Why alone? There just too many things to explore; shopping, eating, sight seeing, and just relaxing somewhere...I love it when I have my own time own target moments. So yah, when I have the time. I will just fly there !!!

In fact, I find myself enjoying HK more than TW. And guess what? I won 1st prize for our Offsite 2010 which consist of 2 tickets to Taiwan and Taka vouchers. My oh my...why does it have to be TW???! Anyway, I have ebay-ed the travel vouchers. Hoping that there are people wanting to purchase it. Else, I'll just fly there and see what I can do there.

Start of 2011

Spent the New Year weekend sleeping or watching TV at home; I just did not have the mood to go anywhere. I've probably watched more than 10 movies in the past 2-3 days and it reminded me of xman whom I used to spent weekdays/ends watching shows with him. Now, I simply do not have the availability of time to waste...

2011 marks the year that I'm gonna turn 30. And I've decided to get baptized again and the reason is because I find myself not being able to grasp hold of the meaning of baptism previously. So it's gonna be on 8th January 2011.

8 being the number of new beginnings. And my resolution for the 2011 will also be die-to-self. Just in case, anybody may find it a taboo to say such things. Perhaps you should just google on the definition of it.

2010 flies in a wink. There are so many things which happened that I couldn't even comprehend it. But I do know strongly that God is at work in me and there are so many things which He exposed and brought me into.

I think I have also clocked traveling the most in the year and the last trip was to Davao City to attend a Young Adult Conference which my senior pastor was invited to speak in. This trip is simply amazing and fruitful. All praise and glory to God!

Well, we have taken lotsa pictures of the trip and thanks to GL for creating the ppt, I've converted it into a video: -


Nevertheless, of all the crazy work schedules that really made me wanna pull out my hair. 2010 has been a good year of learning, healing and cleansing. Thank You, Lord! I look forward to serving Him more in 2011.

I do remember...

The only thing I can do is to pray a blessing for you. And I hope that there is joy in your life, always.

Holiday! Celebrate!

You walked till your legs are "sour" and then you look for the nearest place for a foot massage. You shop till your pockets are quite emptied and you have to dig coins just for a meal at the airport. Now that's what I call enjoyable.

Basic expectations and ground rules were made for the trip...And I was prepared with a netbook and some tasks on hand, just so in case my "gonna auto wake-up friend" really wakes up too late. Fortunately, I also slept slightly longer than usual and she wakes up not too long after me!

The weather was not cold but almost fantastic; bright & sunny with winds!!! And this is the first time ever being in Bangkok without perspiring lotz!!!

Now the best thing is that the both of us are decisive shoppers. We know what we want and know what we really don't want and we don't really have to hang out at one particular shop waiting for each other much. Nice means nice, ugly means ugly. You buy or you don't! Simple as that!!!

This time round, after doing some searching on a forum, we tried a hotel name Citin Pratunam, located just in Pratunam...which is so convenient!!! They have shopping and food stores just downstairs!!! There's no need to be worried that the room service is too ex, or there's nothing to do nearby your hotel. Everything is just within less than 5minutes walking distance!!! The only bad thing? There was a lizard in the room on the last hour spent in the room. *Eeks! And I wonder where did it came from*

Food was good too. We tried almost all the food we planned to eat and we had our breakfasts all at our favorite cafe - Black Canyon Coffee!!! Did I ever mentioned that the one in SG needs lotsa improvement?

Anyway, it really takes awhile finding the right partner to go for travel trips. You must have the right frequency and the right attitude. I know there's lotsa areas which different parties need to accommodate with each other. But just like the scale, if there isn't a balance, one side topples.

Cheers! And may you find your good travel partner!

Setting expectations...

I had been thinking on how a travel trip can turn into a disaster. And the only thing I could think of is that we did not share with each others expectations of the trip and to lay some simple ground rules.

Dang. It didn't happened the first time round as it was a short one and there weren't anything much else to do than to relax and enjoy the greenness.

What really pissed me off is that people taking you or things for granted. And especially the rudeness of being photographed without knowing and the pictures are being posted online in public. Oh yah! And guess what? That person wasn't a fan of being photographed...Then why go take pictures of others?

The other thingy was that one room weren't happy that their time wasn't utilized. Well, I think mine wasn't as well. But what to do? The other room had to keep buying things for her other half and friends and the rest had to follow...which leads to being tired from walking...and eventually, people just don't want to go out? Whose fault har?

As for me? Yes I've got impatient. If there were some expectations like...let's go for a shopping trip. Only shopping. Perhaps we all will have that kinda mentality to JUST SHOP. And the constant buzzing complains of being tired when we were sightsee-ing. That is just plain rude.

It was supposed to be an enjoyable trip but turn out to be a shopping list for others and a time of accommodating with different agendas. Oh man! This really is a disaster.

Work...

Har? Sunday also have to work?

Yes. There are too many profiles on hand and more are coming in. Having 3 colleagues going for maternity and another resigning soon isn't helping at all.

Yet...I love working on Sundays as the office will be very quiet and I would be able to concentrate better without others calling me or asking me on stuffs. Furthermore, I am free to listen to my music without having to plug on earphones.

Anyway...I'm not quite alone in the office. There are many others working too...probably having the same reasons as I do. But ultimately, there is just too many things to do. And the inside of me is shouting, "Pay rise!!! Pay rise!!!"

A rant...

I thought it's gonna be days of negativity with P, but turn out to be the other. ARGH!

In the past, these people are the ones complaining & complaining when I spend too much time/money on my love one. But now, it seems to be a different story with another couple. Was it because this other person is not in their "Hate" list?? DUH!!! Whether or not, if this person did complained; I just feel like slapping her C.X.T.H. face.

Anyway, once bitten twice shy. I'll be wiser in my selection of friends.
(Preferably people whom are less emo-fied)

Happy 1st Month!

Yes! After all these years desiring to get my own transport! I have finally gotten a bike of my own! And today, my bike is 1 month old and it just went for its first servicing! =P

If any of you wondered why I have gotten a bike...the reason is because I really require one!!! And why not a car? Well...my current salary does not allow me to purchase a car as yet! Budden again...it is not of anybody business but mine!

This one month, it has brought me through ups(highways) and downs(slopes) and we have traveled over SG, from the east to the west, and to the north. And onto places I have not been to and some places which brings back lotsa memories.

Not forgetting the blunders I have made, like going into a carpark which does not allow motorcycles and a few cars had to reverse to let me push my bike out. And another is when the gantry didn't successfully scan my IU unit and while leaving the carpark, it just refuses to let me out and a handsome biker happens to be queuing behind me. *How embarrassing*

Nonetheless, having God's permission on this bike, it has really save me quite a sum of $$$ (from taking cabs), avoid anger (from taking public transport) and save me alot of time!!! This probably will be the most expensive birthday gift I ever bought for myself!!! And it came early too!! =)

Hah!

An old friend contacted me recently and I'm amused by the things he had been interrogating me on (through SMS).

One of the most irritating question which he had asked, was what are the qualities I look for in a man? And the conversation goes on like this: -

L: Is that really important?

C: Yes...I recall you being an outdoor active girl, nice, sweet & pretty.

L: So? Anyway people change. Even if one is nice & sweet, that doesn't mean it helps in a relationship.

C: Why do you say that?

L: Why do you keep asking questions?

C: Cos I like girls whom are nice & sweet.

L: Bullshit.

C: ??? What's wrong...

L: Why talk about the qualities of the other person? I realized that is not important these days, on what kinda qualities I am looking for. But it is what the other person is looking for. U mentioned I am nice & sweet, so??? The other person might not even take these as good qualities.

C: Why not?

L: It's all about the differences and whether both of you can deal with each other on it.

C: Meaning?

L: You can be nice and sweet. But the other person thinks you are not intellectual, or one that does not read books and cannot play word games with him and disregards you as being a ideal mate?

C: Then that's his problem.

L: Well...we broke off. But I do agree with you, that's his problem. So stop asking me what kinda qualities I like in a man!!!

Best Fried Chicken!

Issit KFC? Or Popeyes? No!!!

It's at Waffletown located at Balmoral Plaza! This place was introduced by MM and I recall that the first time I was there, I had to order a second helping and in total, I ate 4 pieces of chicken!!!

Though a little inconvenient for those whom does not have their own transport. But still, I say that you give it a try!!!

As for the name of this place, I seriously think that they should change it to Chickytown!

Peace...

It's always good having time to be on my own. My sister is away and I have the whole room by myself. I like having the main lights and without putting on my headphones, I can switch on all the speakers on my computer.

I love it when I am able to pray aloud in my room, having my conversations with God. I love reading the Bible aloud and I love it when I am able to practice my keyboard without any disturbance.

I simply love every moment of this. Thank You Lord =)

I hated you...but I was wrong!

I hated you(she)...but I was wrong! And I'm deeply sorry for that.

After knowing "the big discovery", I realized how stupid and silly I was. And I not stupid anymore!!! (pardon my broken language , it's from a local film. read here)

You(he) left two damaged but we were redeemed and raised up again by the grace of God.

One of my favorite things stepping into 2010 is leaving the past 2 years behind behind behind! And I will not cease thanking, praising God and agreeing with the following two verse:-

Philippians 1:12-14 (New King James Version)
But I want you to know, brethren, that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel, so that it has become evident to the whole palace guard, and to all the rest, that my chains are in Christ; and most of the brethren in the Lord, having become confident by my chains, are much more bold to speak the word without fear.

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

For too long, I mourned on the fallen relationship. And today, I pronounced it dead and buried turned to ashes, never to be revived.

*Status?

My status? Or things on my mind now? Like as on facebook?

There is a part of me that still hurts badly; I want to cry out loud but I cannot do so other than just quietly crying under my blanket.

Thank God! I made it back home...

Especially to you...

Numbers 6:24-26 The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.

If you only knew...

Father's Love Letter

My Child,

You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.
Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented
by those who don't know me.
John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.
Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you.
1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me.
1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7

I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…
Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

What an August!

Lately I have not been in my best of moods due to work and some other issues. Also, I would probably not attempt watching another love comedy in recent months/years(?) as the feeling of having a moment laughing my heads off and another moment realizing how much I love someone, still remains unbearable.

I'm looking forward to my trip to Bali at the end of this month, to be welcomed by Mola molas and manta rays...yet fighting against waters which would be 16 degrees celsius cold.