Yeah!! My badminton 'training' starts again. All thanks to my friend, whom will not be working since his semester is starting soon in Dec.

Right now, there's no 1 in office and I can do my "multi-tasking". I'm voting for Yan Zi for the upcoming MTV Asia Awards 2005 and at the same time doing my notes for HRD which needs to be completed before 5.30PM!!! Okie la, enough crapping. I need to get back to my notes...

Jack Jack! Cute bo?

Argh! I wanna go watch movie!!! Hopefully they are still showing the movies which I wanna watch? Exams the next 2 weeks, though I have gotten almost all notes out. But I abit gan chiong I won't be able to finish? MUst jia you study hard liaoz! Once finish, playtime will be coming soon! Endure endure!!!

To improve performance, you first need to know where you are now.
Second, you need to identify where you want to be, your expectations.
Third, you need to identify action steps to get you there.
Fourth, you need to hold yourself responsible for your follow up actions and your progress.

Sad sad...I feel damn moody as well. I do not know whether its because my auntie came visiting or of the things which happened around me...

I kanna smacked by Gong Toot today during games. I feel damn angry but SW took revenge for me also... Dunno why I was so unlucky too! I have booked the court which our damn client was juz beside us having their inter-dept games too. Already damn sick of work and now after work also have see them...Lagi sianz!

HOw worst can it get?! As people are celebrating their long weekend, I will be studying for my exams which will be in 2 weeks time.

Argh! I'm damn tired. I go sleep now...Hoping that tomorrow will be a better!

It's too true to believe that the following was received from my daily horoscope...

Today's planetary energies

These last three weeks were rather good for your equilibrium, LINDA. It was a question of becoming a bit more involved in life than is usual for you and showing what you are capable of. Likely you had a mix of successes and setbacks, but on the whole improvements have been steady. You may have noticed that this or that about yourself needed improvement, but isn't that the same for everyone?

Anyway, I was out studying with Peilin and I went for the blood donation at the cc today. Oh yeah! I also bought my badminton shoes! Woohoo!!! Hope it will give me better support when I play? Hehe :)

Aiyo..sianz liao! Aviva Opens finals is on 20th & 21st Nov?! Argh! Exams will be round the corner then! Should I go...should I? *Scratch head*

http://wang-yuan.nease.net/wygs.htm

My exams are coming in a month’s time and I had to do 2 main papers and 2 sub-papers. I think I am already feeling the pressure and tension in me as I really have a lot to cover.Furthermore I will also be having a badminton tournament right exactly on the day which I will be having my last paper for the year.

Ahhh…stress stress! Though I already started preparing my notes, but still it seems not sufficient? Oh well, I will try my best definitely to get high scores and to clear my sub-papers.

I seriously do not know what and how to describe my feelings at the moment. I’m neither sad, nor disappointed, not angry, nor frustrated. But I know I had been put to a big test this week. And that is having to face multiple failures.

Firstly, I did not get through for my driving test. I’ve gotten 22 points with one immediate failure as I "Failed to give way to the traffic on the right". I also did not anticipate that there will be a heavy traffic. Being too complacent, my best move, which is parallel parking, became my worst mistake as I hit two poles. GOSH!

Secondly, I did not get through for 2 of my subjects. And yes, I had been expecting it. I did not allocate my time well, thus having insufficient preparation for my exams. Worst of all, my mind was not focus; I wasn't even concentrating…

I guess the only thing to do now, is not to blame myself or feel regretful for all the failures I had caused. But to think on how I can improve and do better in future. Having to already identify the problem, now is to have ‘corrective actions’ and also ‘ preventive actions’.

Well, I already did some ‘preventive actions’ for this semester. That is to go regularly for class, switch off my mobile, etc. But, is that enough? The answer is NO! I have to start my preparation for exams ASAP! Never make the same mistake twice!!! The thing now is making the effort to start!

Remember. Identify -> Act on it -> Become! The ability to beat the odds lies within you…

I feel very nervous at the moment...
I had a paper cut at work today and it still hurts a little...
I could not keep the thought off my mind during my bus ride home...
Worst, I saw a black cat while walking to my block...
I guess I will still be thinking about it later when I am in bed...

ARGH!!!

I have to kick off this feeling...
Just be confidence...
Remember what was learnt...
Stay focus & concentrate...

And what's making me have all such emotions? I'm having my driving test tomorrow!

Woohoo! Later got badminton practise and TGIF!!!
I LOveeEEeee the weekends, but I guess I need to stay home on Sat to do my projects? Aiyah...Nevermind la! Enjoy later :P

I think I'm falling for someone...
Gosh? ERh...heh! No time la! Work + studies + badminton = tire me out already...
Sleep sleep...I'm thinking too much!

I went for my company's inter-departmental badminton games today. Sheesh! Donno what I was doing sia!!!

Though the win over Carol in singles , Chin and Marya in mixed doubles juz now...I had made quite alot of mistakes!!! My serving was like shit!!! Simply no power and I kept serving to the wrong side of the court!!! Argh I need more practise!!! I need more concentration & mental power!!!

Enuff of grunting!!!! I definitely need more practise and fortunately there's a session with my colleagues on wednesday and probably join Tze Yong on sunday? Hmm....I really hope he don't mind?? :x

This is a little stressful....But I will do my best for the coming games as I hope to help my department score some points? NOnetheless, I should not pout over this anymore...

Practise....practise...practise!

My manager finally initiated a discussion, and last Thursday, I had a ‘state my views’ session with him. Yes, no doubt severe damage to this working relationship had already been done. But I took this discussion seriously and hoping that after voicing out, there will be some peace & justice done. Unfortunately, the feedback I got on the next day was, he still thinks he’s right, the almighty and everybody should obey him. I told myself, “I had expected this situation to either get better or get really worst. Since it was the later and nothing could be done on my part to resolve this issue, I will tolerate; find a job and leave in a month’s time.

After lunch, something happened which really made me blew my top.

Every month end, one of my tasks was to gather all timecards, pass to him for approval & to keep a copy for filing & record purposes. But that day, he had sealed all the timecards before I could do so. Knowing that the envelope contains the timecards, I opened it and what I saw was 2 posts it notes.

1) Please ensure that you subtract 1-day pay from her salary as she took unpaid leave.
2) Linda Yong is NOT entitled to any overtime unless authorize by Mr. Ang or me. Please do not pay her overtime.
3) There were markings on my timecard on 2 days, one at 08:01hrs and another at 08:03hrs.

Yes, I was late, I took unpaid leave, and I am not entitled to any overtime pay. By doing what he did, what is he trying to do or prove? Putting his personal grudges towards me? As a supervisor, does that means he has the right to abuse his authority, come late for work, leave the office for personal reasons during work, taking office supplies for his own use, etc.?

This whole situation, I would say I am at the most losing side. To think that during the ‘state my views’ session, my manager had already emphasize, “ He’s more than a colleague”. He also mentioned that Adrian was a good supervisor in the sense that he could ‘get his job done’ and minimize incidents as compared to the previous supervisor. But does that mean he’s really a good supervisor? Well, for the knowledge and skills portion, he might be the best candidate. As for human relations, what is the explanation of the high turnover rate then? Not only that, why are many new technicians whom have joined the company, are now actively looking for alternatives routes?

Gee. Unfortunately, the reality is that unfair. That’s why, one has to make him or herself so marketable that wherever one may go, he/she will get employed.

I told myself this…

“Linda….Linda…think positively. Would you rather work with such a boss in such organization?
Many things might not be right and fair to you. You have a choice, and that choice is to learn more skills, make yourself so marketable that wherever you go, you will be employed.

I'm very sleepy and very tired from battling with morons at work.

I'm utterly disappointed with my manager, especially in his way of 'managing situations'.Yes, to him, perhaps that's the only thingy he could do. But to me? I feel that I have lost all confidence in working with such a boss.

I am sure that he knows abt the existence of the conflict, yet he chose to keep quiet and stay on one side of the court?

And why did i say so? First of all, it was obvious that my sup is finding fault n making things difficult for me. He had been calling frequently over and to check on what I was doing. But one thingy, my manager did not foresee was though I was listening to my mp3player while doing work, I had adjusted the sound to a low volume. I could hear so clearly, each and every single fiaking word they had said.

Well, I did thought over whether I should be the one intiating the 'discussion' over this issue. But the big question mark appears when I thought of how he bring this issue to my sup?As a friend or as a manager?

Aiyah....................F*CK IT! Why bother? I seriously doubt there will be any improvement!

Gosh! I just break a record? Hahaha! Lowest handphone bill ever for the past 2 years of $83+!
See! I can do it! Now its to keep below the free 300 sms per month and I'll save even more!

Im looking forward for tomorrow as I will be going to JB again with my friends! This time round, we will be going to a mango plantation and I heard that they are very sweet and yet damn cheap! Woohoo!!! I love fruits!!! Hopefully I'll get plenty?!
Gotta sleep now! Hehehehee!

Though I slept quite abit last weekend, but last night, I just could not fall asleep cos of the warm weather & when I got up to surf the net a little... I had stomach upset and I even vomitted!! The cool day weather today is just great for zzz-ing under the blanky!!! Hehehe! I'm waiting for my hair to dry then I'll head for bed!

I hope tomorrow is gonna be great at work? Nah...it's always boring & crappy! GRrr!!! I'm looking forward for class though! Hmm...was wondering should I get a recorder? I can't catch up with what my lecturer says & aiyo think my writing is quite turtle... Maybe this weekend I will go source for 1 & hopefully it will benefit me by remembering the points better :P

Glad that I stick with my own choice to place the bet and today, for the first time, I won!
Though not really alot, but I will be bringing my family for a steamboat dinner tomorrow. As for the rest of the $$, I would need to return the loan for my school fees to my mom...

Quite happy today also as I finally watched Alien vs Predators. The storyline is quite predictable but overall not bad la... For the next few weeks, there are some movies which I hope would be worth to watch?

Did a little bit of shopping today and visited the library for some books too.
Oh ya!!! I managed to sleep during the afternoon which I had been lacking of for this entire week!!!! Hahaha!!

Enough for today... I'm gona play pinball!!! =P

I had been feeling damn frustrated over the past few days becoz of work. And I spent my friday night pouring my sorrow & anger...

Dinner was at california pizza; with nice food, ambience & of cos the good company of two friends whom previously were my ex-colleagues .

Many stuffs was said and there are a few points I would want to keep in mind is that...

Dont ever put human emotions over work. A company is set up basically to earn money, their bottom line is only the 'Profit & Loss'. In good times, yeah perhaps you will gain something in terms of monetary or watsoever. But during bad times; being loyal, responsible & caring isnt gonna earn you anything!! If you gonna be so emotional/compassionate; my as well work for free to help him 'do better for the business'?

Always think and put yourself first in thoughts before others. This is the only way to survive.

Also...Try out different things while you can. If you do not try, you'll never know...

As what my lecturer said, "Something must happen to make you do something...". And today, after listening to PM Lee Hsien Loong's speech at the National Day Rally 04 ,he 'triggered' me to have a few more items on my 'changes list'.

Here it goes...
Instead of complaining & whine that I have nothing much to do at work(which is true)!
I guess the solution is to plan my time well and by utilizing free time to read more and keeping a lookout for opportunities. Other people might be slacking and simply cant be bothered in what they do, but that doesn't mean I should be the same! I, myself, should be the one whom is responsible for my own future, in terms of work/studies/family!

Also...there is an importance to understand the difference between problems and dilemmas.
Problems are things/issues/matters which can be solved. As for dilemmas....why should we even spend time looking for a solution since the issue is already 'classified' as a dilemma? Instead, we should change our attitudes by being adaptive to the situation. As the saying goes, "Change yourself to suit the environment, not change the environment suit you!