I seriously do not know what and how to describe my feelings at the moment. I’m neither sad, nor disappointed, not angry, nor frustrated. But I know I had been put to a big test this week. And that is having to face multiple failures.

Firstly, I did not get through for my driving test. I’ve gotten 22 points with one immediate failure as I "Failed to give way to the traffic on the right". I also did not anticipate that there will be a heavy traffic. Being too complacent, my best move, which is parallel parking, became my worst mistake as I hit two poles. GOSH!

Secondly, I did not get through for 2 of my subjects. And yes, I had been expecting it. I did not allocate my time well, thus having insufficient preparation for my exams. Worst of all, my mind was not focus; I wasn't even concentrating…

I guess the only thing to do now, is not to blame myself or feel regretful for all the failures I had caused. But to think on how I can improve and do better in future. Having to already identify the problem, now is to have ‘corrective actions’ and also ‘ preventive actions’.

Well, I already did some ‘preventive actions’ for this semester. That is to go regularly for class, switch off my mobile, etc. But, is that enough? The answer is NO! I have to start my preparation for exams ASAP! Never make the same mistake twice!!! The thing now is making the effort to start!

Remember. Identify -> Act on it -> Become! The ability to beat the odds lies within you…

I feel very nervous at the moment...
I had a paper cut at work today and it still hurts a little...
I could not keep the thought off my mind during my bus ride home...
Worst, I saw a black cat while walking to my block...
I guess I will still be thinking about it later when I am in bed...

ARGH!!!

I have to kick off this feeling...
Just be confidence...
Remember what was learnt...
Stay focus & concentrate...

And what's making me have all such emotions? I'm having my driving test tomorrow!

Woohoo! Later got badminton practise and TGIF!!!
I LOveeEEeee the weekends, but I guess I need to stay home on Sat to do my projects? Aiyah...Nevermind la! Enjoy later :P

I think I'm falling for someone...
Gosh? ERh...heh! No time la! Work + studies + badminton = tire me out already...
Sleep sleep...I'm thinking too much!

I went for my company's inter-departmental badminton games today. Sheesh! Donno what I was doing sia!!!

Though the win over Carol in singles , Chin and Marya in mixed doubles juz now...I had made quite alot of mistakes!!! My serving was like shit!!! Simply no power and I kept serving to the wrong side of the court!!! Argh I need more practise!!! I need more concentration & mental power!!!

Enuff of grunting!!!! I definitely need more practise and fortunately there's a session with my colleagues on wednesday and probably join Tze Yong on sunday? Hmm....I really hope he don't mind?? :x

This is a little stressful....But I will do my best for the coming games as I hope to help my department score some points? NOnetheless, I should not pout over this anymore...

Practise....practise...practise!

My manager finally initiated a discussion, and last Thursday, I had a ‘state my views’ session with him. Yes, no doubt severe damage to this working relationship had already been done. But I took this discussion seriously and hoping that after voicing out, there will be some peace & justice done. Unfortunately, the feedback I got on the next day was, he still thinks he’s right, the almighty and everybody should obey him. I told myself, “I had expected this situation to either get better or get really worst. Since it was the later and nothing could be done on my part to resolve this issue, I will tolerate; find a job and leave in a month’s time.

After lunch, something happened which really made me blew my top.

Every month end, one of my tasks was to gather all timecards, pass to him for approval & to keep a copy for filing & record purposes. But that day, he had sealed all the timecards before I could do so. Knowing that the envelope contains the timecards, I opened it and what I saw was 2 posts it notes.

1) Please ensure that you subtract 1-day pay from her salary as she took unpaid leave.
2) Linda Yong is NOT entitled to any overtime unless authorize by Mr. Ang or me. Please do not pay her overtime.
3) There were markings on my timecard on 2 days, one at 08:01hrs and another at 08:03hrs.

Yes, I was late, I took unpaid leave, and I am not entitled to any overtime pay. By doing what he did, what is he trying to do or prove? Putting his personal grudges towards me? As a supervisor, does that means he has the right to abuse his authority, come late for work, leave the office for personal reasons during work, taking office supplies for his own use, etc.?

This whole situation, I would say I am at the most losing side. To think that during the ‘state my views’ session, my manager had already emphasize, “ He’s more than a colleague”. He also mentioned that Adrian was a good supervisor in the sense that he could ‘get his job done’ and minimize incidents as compared to the previous supervisor. But does that mean he’s really a good supervisor? Well, for the knowledge and skills portion, he might be the best candidate. As for human relations, what is the explanation of the high turnover rate then? Not only that, why are many new technicians whom have joined the company, are now actively looking for alternatives routes?

Gee. Unfortunately, the reality is that unfair. That’s why, one has to make him or herself so marketable that wherever one may go, he/she will get employed.

I told myself this…

“Linda….Linda…think positively. Would you rather work with such a boss in such organization?
Many things might not be right and fair to you. You have a choice, and that choice is to learn more skills, make yourself so marketable that wherever you go, you will be employed.