Especially to you...

Numbers 6:24-26 The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.

If you only knew...

Father's Love Letter

My Child,

You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.
Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented
by those who don't know me.
John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.
Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you.
1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me.
1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7

I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…
Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

What an August!

Lately I have not been in my best of moods due to work and some other issues. Also, I would probably not attempt watching another love comedy in recent months/years(?) as the feeling of having a moment laughing my heads off and another moment realizing how much I love someone, still remains unbearable.

I'm looking forward to my trip to Bali at the end of this month, to be welcomed by Mola molas and manta rays...yet fighting against waters which would be 16 degrees celsius cold.

Happening July!

Thank GOD for Your amazing love for me even though I do not deserve it.
July was a happening month filled with lotsa work, church evenings & weekend trips.

Work: The few products which I'm handling had a increase in its volume due to several promotions going on. Thus I am pretty 'occupied' throughout rather than busying only between 8-20th of the mth.

Church: I am hype up for God and I am still excited for more! Now that I am attending classes...I will be in church for at least 4 times a week!! And starting Sept, if I get to be selected to join the Alpha course as a helper, it will be another evening added!~

Weekends: Happening as some might say. But I definitely need such "distractions/diversions of my mind" for the time being.

1st weekend - Diving trip @ Pulau Redang




2nd weekend - Celebrating mom's birthday @ DTE chalet having BBQ; went to Wild wild wet & BBQ-ing in the rain with some church friends.


3rd weekend - Cameron & KL trip with Mingmin & Sandy




4th weekend - NDP NE Show with Dad!
I love the fireworks!

Busy busy!

Just a status update to let everyone know that I have not died from crying over someone.

I had been very busy with work due to the 1 week absence. And I will be getting busier in the coming two months as I will be going for several trips!

But before those trips can come...I am looking forward to this weekend!

原來愛情那麼傷。。。

梁咏琪-原来爱情这么伤

我睁开眼睛,却感觉不到天亮
东西吃一半,莫名其妙哭一场
我忍住不想,时间变得更漫长
也与你有关,否则又开始胡思乱想

我日月无光,忙得不知所以然
找朋友交谈,其实全帮不上忙
以为会习惯,有你在才是习惯
你曾住在我心上,现在空了一个地方

原来爱情这么伤,比想象中还难
泪水总是不听话,幸福躲起来不声不响
太多道理太牵强,道理全是一样
说的时候很简单,爱上后却正巧打乱

只想变的坚强,强到能够去忘
无所谓悲伤,只要学会抵抗

原来爱情这么伤
原来爱情是这样,这样峰回路转
泪水明明流不干,瞎了眼还要再爱一趟
有一天终于打完,思念的一场战
回过头再看一看
原来爱情那么伤
下次还会不会这样

Rest in God...

I'm so glad that all these is finally over. The end of a very torturing week trying to block out all the tock tock tock chiang and being a runner & entertainer in the extreme heat for the whole week.

Both mentally & physically tired now...I pray that I will get total healing & restoration from God in the next two days before I start doing all of June's work to be completed in the coming week.

What should I do?

My mind is in a mess now and I am too tired to think rationally.

R.I.P. Grandma...

Psalm 73

When I read the above today, I realized how silly & little faith of me...

Thank God for Your presence and that You once again spoke to me. Thank You so much for picking me up when I fall down each and every time. Thank You for drying up my tears so I don't kill more trees with the boxes n boxes of tissues I use each day. Thank You for the friends whom You have put around me. And last of all, Thank You for dying on the cross for me.

I need a zapper...

This is to remove my memories as I find it so difficult and painful!

I still cry myself to sleep these days and what issit of use even with those creams or eye masks?

I had already kept myself very busy and what issit of use when my mind isn't in the activities I do?

I feel so frustrated that I just want to rip open my brains to take the part of you out.

Here comes June..

A month which I was looking forward to many things and now everything had just blacken out.

I wonder what God will bring in June and whatever He puts ahead for me, I know it's will be the best.

God is ♥

Ignore me in the previous post if it bothers you that I don't seem awake. I probably am not(at that point of time).

And yeah, it has only been a while and things are very much different now. Even though I may feel a little exhausted traveling home late at night as most of the time I run to church after work and weekends (Thank God for all the activities that He has arrange!). But I know that I have learn and gain so much during this period; that God will give me the strength I need and restore me to wholeness.

So many dumb things and grave mistakes I have done, for what I've called love. And so much so that the only thing I received now is just pain, hurt & heart brokenness. But why do I still do daily prayers for you...despite many people questioning me on why do I care, when you don't even care? Tsk! I don't even have an answer myself. And if I would to think...that is God's grace.

You may choose ignore me once again if I don't seem awake again.

But this is a phase which I must go through. I know Papa God is doing wonders and His transformetion will be great. =)

I miss you like crazy...

Even though it's been awhile and there had been many new things going on, like moving of office premises, I had been helping out very often at my church and my Lord has done alot of transformetion. But the following song still best describes my feelings now.



I used to call you my girl boy
I used to call you my friend
I used to call you the love
The love that I never had
When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again

[Chorus:]
I miss you like crazy
Even More than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
Girl Boy I'm so down when your love's not around
I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy
You are all that I want
You are all that I need
Can't you see how I feel
Can't you see that my pain's so real
When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again

Sad

I found you to be special. But you are just like the others out there now, too conformed by this evil world...

God is ♥

There are higher heights, there are deeper seas.
Whatever You need to do, Lord do in me.

Irony?

Few of my closest friends are going through very rough patches too. And the thing is that I could advise them but I can't apply what I have said to them on my own self. Worst, I'm crying even more than ever! And will I be the first in the world, to cry myself to death?

So prayers have been answered for them, but what about mine? I'm not questioning Papa God and perhaps He had already answered my prayers and its just that I had not been listening.

Nevertheless, I'm still glad that I am able to help in my little own way.

HeartacheS...

The world around me is making me feel so very sad...

Deadly viruses is spreading around. The financial world is crashing down. Within a country, people with authorities are fighting among themselves. And there is a big percentage of broken marriages & divorces. Seriously, what is this world becoming to?

As for myself? What can I say? You were scared & I was scared too...But you held my hands! How can I ever forget that??? You bring the world & smiles to me but only to destroy it now...

Papa God, please help us...please help this world. I believe in You. I still believe that there is true love is this world and there is pureness in people's heart. Everybody may think that I'm naive. But I still want to believe...I want to cling on to this hope in You!

Grace...

Some ppl is really testing my patience. And the best thing of all is that I must love this enemy. Does this sentence sounds ironic or wrong or funny to you? But no...that wasn't my intention.

Matthew 5:44
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.

I'm enjoying this walk with God every single second. Thank you, my dear Lord. =)

Truth...

No eye cream can take my sore puffy red eyes away but only God's mercy and grace...

Praise the Lord!

I have so much to say about today but I am locking it up in my heart for now.

The feeling is simply fantastic/great/wonderful/fill in anything good & I really do not want it to go away...

And right now, I'm just eager to find out/know/see what God has in store for me. =)

Memorable quotes...

I have always kept the following quote from the movie "Juno" bookmarked on my favorites. And this shall remain as one of the best...

Mac MacGuff(Dad) to Juno: Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

Proverbs 19:11

A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.

Lord, give me the ability to be slow to anger. Take away anything in me that refuses to let go of anger over things that have happened. Help me to not get angry over that I think are injustices or personal affronts. Help me instead to quickly overlook the things that make me upset and release all my anger to You. Replace anger in me with Your love and patience. Help me to be gracious to everyone I see and to be full of compassion in all situations. Help me to not retaliate with angry words that I will ultimately regret and that will grieve Your Holy Spirit. If anyone is angry at me or convicted me for any reason, whether justified or not, help me to always give a soft and gentle answer and forsake harsh words that stir up strife. I don't want anger in me to delay my wholeness and keep me from the destiny You have for me.

PLEASE...

Dear Lord, I really love KC.

Even with the situation we're in right now, my heart still goes out to him.

I do not wish to seek the easiest way out which is to give up. I WILL NOT agree to the devil or succumb to whatever circumstances we're in.

KC said to me, the one thing he would want to exchange with me is determination. Father, I beg of you please, will You grant him that determination to persevere on this relationship too?

PLEASE, I beg You please.

Have you ever...

Just wanna sing this tonight...



Have you ever love somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever love somebody so much
It's make you wanna cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life
You'd do anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to you
Only to find that one wont give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

What do I gotta do to get to you in my arms baby
What do I gotta do to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
cos baby I can't sleep...

Torn...

You so break my heart into billion pieces.
Why are you treating me this way? What have I not done or done wrong???

Wake up call... III

I've just gotten the letter which states how much we are getting for our bonus. And it triggers me to do a quick review of my life for the past one year or so.

The transfer of department, gained more personal time, got in a relationship...etc. I think I shall not elaborate on these areas...

The best of 2008 is receiving salvation through my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.


FYI: I titled the post, "Wake up call.." as it is a realization of things and its time to do something about it.

Wake up call... II

On second thoughts, I realized there are things which makes me wanna scream out LOUD.

I had been hesitating if I should have kept it in me by not muttering a word. But now, I decided to blog it (of cos without the major details).

1. Perhaps you are right! As from your POV, you would be like everybody else whom only gets to hear the politically right answers. How does it benefit others, by blurting your kiddo thoughts??? Don't you even know the simple fact that putting things into action isn't easy and it is impossible when people do not even see the need to lift a finger? Why don't you try achieving what you have said, if you were in my situation??!!!

2. I certainly do not deserve whatever I'm going through right now.

I CERTAINLY DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wake up call...

Okies...so God whacked my head and made me realized that I'm in a few deep shits and it is time to climb out from the pit.

All these were caused by my own hands and I had estimated that I will probably need a year to settle it.

Do not ask me what had happened cos I certainly do not need any judgment except for God's presence and His strength to help me through it.

One thing to assure you readers, it has nothing to do with my relationship or matters concerning life and death. =)

More than just a show...

Jiro had to recite a poem in the drama which triggered me to google. The whole poem is too long for an entry...so you may want to read the beautiful piece here! =)

Stray Birds
By Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)

1
Stray birds of summer come to my window to sing and fly away. And yellow leaves of autumn, which have no songs, flutter and fall there with a sigh.

2
O troupe of little vagrants of the world, leave your footprints in my words.

3
The world puts off its mask of vastness to its lover. It becomes small as one song, as one kiss of the eternal.

4
It is the tears of the earth that keep her smiles in bloom.

....

325
Release me from my unfulfilled past clinging to me from behind making death difficult.

326
Let this be my last word, that I trust in thy love.

爱就宅一起! ToGetHer...

Nice title isn't it? The above is a new Taiwan drama with cutie Rainie Yang and my yandao Jiro Wang! And wah wah wah wah wah!!! In the first episode, Jiro appeared in bed with only his briefs! This show is a must watch? LMAO!~

Okie...be serious!!! Just like what the poster writes, "when a agoraphobic girl (Rainie as Mo Mo) met a rinky-dink celebrity (Jiro as Mars), their love went agoraphobic..."

I think I'm gonna like the show! I wanna see how their love gonna bloom =)

Work Updates...

I use to be the earliest to reach the office but recently I tend to take things easier at work. Or rather, I didn’t have to bother much since I transferred to this department.

However, after the ‘warning session’ last week, everybody seemed uptight and kept thinking which idiot actually complaint.

The job rotation was more like only a switch of product type and now I handle two products which only involve in ‘detailed checking of info’.

How interesting can this be? Blah!

Praise God!

Thank God for creating those 24 hours fast food restaurant, so I can have a pack of crunchy apples to eat for dinner or issit supper?

And people usually says, "an apple a day keeps the doctor away". I say it's God blessing to me, so I can be able to afford such luxury. $2.55 for just a few slices of apple isn't something which many will get to eat, especially in those third world country.

Deep down in my heart...I am really grateful to my Lord.

Light in Darkness...

I'm glad to be greeted by familiar smiling people in church last weekend and that's the marvelous thing about God. He always picks you up in whatever circumstances you are in.

My mood was tremendously awful...I can't stop crying and my heart aches badly. It is embarrassing to be seen in public with red swollen teary eyes. But when people saw me, they didn't question me on anything but just gave me a pat on my back and said, "Have faith in God, He's with you all the time..."

That was something which I really needed, not just the comforting words, but a reminder that I should always stand on Christ's solid rock than the sinking sand.


Dear Lord,
Pls forgive me for my wrongdoings, I have allowed once again the darkness to fall upon me. Cast those unwanted thoughts outta me and renew my mind.

Help me to remember that nothing can happen today that You and I can't handle together.

I know that You are using difficulties to make me better - not bitter. And I can trust You for all the unknown future. In Jesus name I pray...Amen!

Shakespeare Sonnet 116

Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
- William Shakespeare

I hate PH.

The current and the last few festive seasons have not turned out well & I'm beginning to HATE when it's a Public Holiday in SG.

Bad vs Good...

I did two somewhat sad thingyz today and that is to throw away my favorite blouse which was torn beyond mending and my 'chao chao' aka bolster of dunno how many years.

Although the top being torn and the bolster already melting away, it actually took me quite awhile to decide dumping them down the chute.

Now that both items are gone...I'm glad I do not need to see the day where bed bugs crawl or leave chance for any to have an impression that I only have that top in my wardrobe.

Cheers! It's probably time for some shopping? Tsk tsk*

Welcome 2009!

Thank God for everything!

Though the end of 2008 & start of 2009 was kinda %&#@$^...that had me making the first resolution of the year which is to be happy & wanting more in my spiritual growth.

There hasn't been much post recently as I tend to blog in my mind these days and when I want to write it out, I can't recall most of it.

I certainly hope that this is not a sign of aging but a sign that I do not want to be reminded of things which easily mess up my mind.

Nevertheless, I pray that 2009 will be another good year for everybody. God Bless!