Yes Man.

Typing the topic seems funny. Cos there's another movie screened recently named Ip Man but everybody reads it as I.P. Man...

Anyway, the DDs(Double Daters) went to watch Yes Man last night. Though I wasn't really in the mood for a comedy, I tried my best to pay attention to the movie.

I like the part when both of them travels to unknown places doing all the craziest thing ever. But all these, only comes if you are willing to do so. Perhaps, initially he had to agree due to the "Yes Covenant", but after all the good/bad things happened to him, he realized life became/were different.

Life isn't mundane as it is. It is only colorful if you want it to...

心中话。。。

If your heart has been shattered to million pieces, let me be the one to glue you back together. I will do whatever it takes to piece you back again, and I promise to never lose my grip.

God be my witness and our supporting pillar.

I love you.

No way.

I can still recall the last part of my dream where I ran around in the rain searching for JL (probably for some comfort), also crying and screaming frantically, "God...is that true? Is that true?"

My heart is thumping fast and I'm still trying to catch my breath.

God, I'm so glad you woke me up.

Amen!

Are you connected?

Are you connected? It's very easy to be connected these days. Perhaps we are over connected sometimes.

Do spare 5minutes to listen to the following link.

Filtering...

I'm getting a little tired over all the nasty comments.
I'm also feeling a little mentally exhausted on the things that came into my knowledge recently.

We ought to filter what we hear and see. We should not indiscriminately allow inputs into our inner man.

Mark 4:24
Consider carefully what you hear," he continued. "With the measure you use, it will be measured to you—and even more.

So wise indeed, I really needa practice the above.

Good excuse.

It's a good excuse to cry today and since my eyes is still a little teary due to the sensitivity to light from my op on Wednesday, I doubt anybody would actually bother if I sit in my cubicle and cry facing my monitor screen.

Dear Lord...will you please be with me?

And He answers...

Philippians 2:14-16
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.

What a day...

Part 1
I find it difficult to decide on whether to go for the Manado trip in April 09.

Even after a week of consideration and a second time asking from my instructor, I said to count me in but later felt ultra uneasy and got him to halt the booking of my flight.

I tried listing down all the possible reasons on what's stopping me and what's not but still couldn't convince myself to a decision.

I began to ask close friends on why I'm having this kinda feeling resulting all sorta answers/ways to decide and yes, I even wrote to darling asking for his opinions which could probably help to the firming up on my decision. But never got a reply...

There is this unrest in me which I really do not know how to describe... But I guess I should conclude, as the last time I had this kinda feeling, there was the tsunami.

Part 2
I fell from a flight of steps, hurting my butt & ankle last evening. Having the blue black kinda pain on both my butt cheeks and few pieces of skin scrapped off showing some white white meat/stuffs on my ankle. I don't think I needa describe further the kinda pain I'm experiencing.

I was dazed by the fall and was with darling when I fell but I guess nothing much could be done as he had to stay for a meeting with his partners.

On my way back alone, I was almost on the verge of crying, but did not, till early morning when I didn't hear any sound even after his meeting. Talk about replying when you are free, I didn't get any when you really are but most of the time seeing him first on his pc replying to others on his forums. To this, I felt like a sore loser. Losing myself to his work/pc/forums which sometimes get me wondering if those ppl really bother on what he writes or just wanting to make use of his expertise.

We had a talk after that as our smses didn't get us anywhere but saying words which are going the untrue and hurting way. Although it didn't started out that well either as I began to spurt out certain things which I would have kept quiet till grave, such as, I really hate what D had done to you but still I prayed well for her.

About the right timing and place to talk to you, when do I ever get the chance, other than this method? In a way, I'm glad we straightened some things out and like I said, if I have to resort to falling down just to talk with you this much again. I would...

Horror Movies

I haven't been watching horror movies for quite some time. If I do have to recall, my exS were far more scared than I am while watching horror shows which left me feeling more frightened instead.

But I had noticed (after watching "Poltergeist" at the chalet) that I don't feel disturbed after watching horror movies with my dearest! Perhaps it's this sense of security that I get/feel from him and I hope I did not numbed/break his fingers while watching "The Coffin" and "Rec", as there were a few scenes which I had grabbed his hand rather tightly.

Probably in the past, I was confused on how such supernatural stuffs could take place and kept thinking if it was real, even after few weeks. But now, on the second day, I wasn't really thinking as I also know that I only have God to fear.

But the 1 thingy which left me thinking after "The Coffin" was that I hope darling would keep himself healthy & alive, not dying earlier than I do, for I will be very sad and I find it very hard to overcome. It's not that I'm selfish and wanna leave first, leaving him behind...but I believe he'll be stronger than I am. And I do pray that he will take care of himself; sometimes he really get me worrying seeing him eating all those ultra sweet stuffs, junk food and having irregular/short resting hours.

Please. Will you take care of yourself?

Finally I can blog about it!

Time simply flew through the past few weeks which had kept me running around to the completion of the thingy which I was doing. And thanks to MM whom had assisted and SM & JJ whom have sealed their lips. Finally I can blog about it!

I'm glad that you like what you had received. And the thingy which I realized was when you had that one wish which everybody says would come true, we often used it on the one whom really matters. I did that too.


I had fun & enjoyed last weekend with you at Turi Beach Resort Batam - a very last minute decision which bookings were only made the day before we left.

Spending time with you just strolling by the beach, admiring the sea view from our room, listening to the waves and getting our fingers dirty eating all those seafood are moments which I'll never forget.

You gave me that silly little girl's giggles when you piggyback me in the waters around the pool; some feeling which I had never felt before; wanting to just hold you tight and never let you go.

(Ya, the pool ok. I didn't torture him to piggyback me on land!)

And thank you for saving me up when I flew off the banana boat so many times. The jet ski ride was fun too but I was just afraid to speed & lose control of it and might get you hurt.

I guess whatever I wanna say is already in what I had given to you. And I'll pray that you will always keep those messages in your heart...

I love you.

Am I a perfectionist?

Judging from the definition on dictionary.com, I definitely don't seem like one. Cos if I am a perfectionist, I probably wouldn't be who/what I am now.

Ahh...okies. Perhaps I had been putting too much pressure on myself on the things that I'm doing and I had unknowingly set myself no room for any mistakes on it.

But I guess by doing the above, no doubt of its importance, it is already a big mistake.

Chill out & Trust in God...I need to say this to myself.

End of Oct

Eventful Oct has ended and it's simply wonderful! A-mei's concert, WL's wedding, my day with Darling @ Escape Theme Park & WildWildWet and my baptism ceremony.

WL's wedding was held at RCC and the place is rather scenic & peaceful. Darling was the emcee that night and I felt that he really did a great job. Too bad, he wasn't wearing his jacket that night which has always reminded me the very first time he came to AMK S-11 meeting me wearing his jacket before he goes off for a client's company event. Very smart looking okay? :winkz:

My day with my dearest @ Escape Theme Park & Wildwildwet was terrific!! As not many turned up for the chalet, we were left with free entrance tickets to these places. The theme park proved to be that they will be heading for a closure with such little rides. The more exciting ones are the Viking (which got darling screaming), the Inverter & the Go-kart.

Next was Wildwildwet, the weather was so hot that day, we just couldn't resist jumping into the waters. We tried almost all rides, and the most memorable ones would be "Slide Up" and the "Tsunami". I guess the 'ugliest' that darling had seen of me would be when we were falling from Slide up's 4 storey high ramp. Gosh!!! As I was the heavier one, I had to sit in the position where I faced down during the slide. It really got me mouth-opened screaming and scared that we might fall. But I think this kinda adrenalin rush is just perfect!!!

Well, as for the "Tsunami" - the wave pool, we were competing against each other on whom swam faster and to successfully get on the float first. And that struggling made us lose our locker key leaving us in a bet on who would be the first to retrieve the key after the heavy downpour towards the evening. Ahh...once again, I guess I wasn't detailed enough and lost the bet as he did found the key after I gave up on the search.

All the above playing really got us tired, sunburnt and peeling. But it was really enjoyable; I love to spend weekends with you. =)

Lastly, my baptism ceremony was rather a quiet one and I had only invited darling (whom didn't manage to make it) and Betty (whom couldn't make it either as she will be leaving for her long vacation the very same day). Although I was a little disappointed... God had 'distracted' my attention as there were many Mediacorp artiste, such as Ivy Lee, Jacelyn Tay, Li Nan Xing, Chew Chor Meng, Fann & Chris turning up at my church! And that's becos, Rayson Tan (Chen Li Ping's hubby) was also baptized the same day. Nonetheless, I'm glad that I am finally now, an official Child of God.

And I want to praise and thank Him for all the above wonderful times. Now...I really look forward to the month of November - Darling's month. =)

Smile!

There is a sense of happiness & fulfillment in me today that I feel like I am swinging a basket in one hand and skipping my way home(you know like in those fairytale). But of cos I cannot do that in real else I'd probably drop dead halfway back or create the first massive earthquake in SG. =X

Recently, I went to try out a few things which I have never done before in my life. I must admit that I am getting the hang of it, totally enjoyed the entire process and addicted.

I wondered why I did not pursue in this line even though I do have great interest in it, but even if I wanted to, I'm probably too old for it now, need to go for some plastic surgery & drop to a weight of like 40kg? Erm...that is like so impossible.

Nevertheless, it's a wonderful experience and I thank God for giving me the courage and for providing all the resources I need. Praise the Lord! =)

A-mei r0cks!!!

This is an overdue post - I went for A-mei's concert on 4th Oct at the indoor stadium & it's totally awesome! I really enjoyed myself & I hope KC and my group of friends had a good time too.



Since I was a teenager, A-mei has been my favorite singer with a powerful vocal which I admire. She isn't one whom has a cutie face or with a nose-bleeding figure, but it was mainly due to her hard work and determination which brought her to fame and becoming successful.

Many of her songs are already stuck in my mind and it's really hard not to sing along at her concert or at any KTV sessions that I go to. I do have to admit that I had shed a few tears while singing/listening to some of her songs recently, which best describes my feelings and thoughts.

Dang!

There is some migration work to be done by this week and I only get to know today? Hah! It's time to wave my hands in the air as I won't have to complain that I will be bored or have nothing to do at work!

Weddings.

I attended 3 weddings since the past few weeks and 2 more are coming up in Nov. Despite all the merry sabotaging to the newly wedded couple, I'm getting to feel a little bored as I find all 'procedures' seemed similar.

I'm looking forward to attending the ones in Nov as they will be held in churches. Though some friends were mentioning it could also get a little boring and strict, I do hope mine will be held in a church...

Goodbye Sept

Praying that you will take care of your health.
Praying that you will live a happier life.
Praying that you are just by my side.

Happy wkend~

I had a great weekend last week!

I was with my F4 gang - MM, JJ & SM on Friday @ waffletown and had the yummiEst fried chicken! Served hot & crispy, the meat is so nice & tender that I had 4 pieces of it, which is probably the most no. of pieces I ever ate in any one meal. Their waffles wasn't that fantastic as I find it's somewhat tasteless. Perhaps they should consider changing their name to chickytown instead.

Sat & Sunday was simply great too as I've got to spend some time with my dearest darling despite his busy work schedule. :MUacks:

We went to Ichi's hse for some briefing on his wedding, followed by dinner @ Uno Beef House which is located at a kopidiam in Toa Payoh Lorong 5. It's really good!! Definitely SO MUCH BEtter than Aston which I would strongly discouraged anybody to try.

Met up with darling on Sunday evening as well & we went for "Mamma Mia"! And if any of you whom have not watch this movie, ya better go catch the show before it goes offscreen!

The scenes which is on a small island of Greece is really captivating! And I really enjoyed the songs & dance in the show that I even sang along. Hopefully, I did not made deaf anybody's ears at the cinema! Anyway, I really envy her wedding - held in a chapel, the hanging lamps used at the dinner, the back lights which made the ambience very romantic & sweet! =X



Thank God for such a marvelous weekend! =)

Hooked.

It's raining elephants & hippos in Singapore and my neighborhood is sorta flooded by all the construction work going on.

I had my bit of fun slipper-walking through puddles of water today & I thought it would be great skipping around with rubber boots! Haha!

My huge umbrella didn't help cover much of me & my bag; I seemed to be more worried if my new purchase will be ruined.

I've got hooked to it since yesterday and I wished I had more energy to keep myself awake to finish reading the whole book. Now I can't wait to get my hands on the other but it's just bad luck for me that the store only has the last copy and its torn!

兴奋！

突然觉得很兴奋！可能是因为想到有重要的事要做，所以感觉如此。
虽然会有一点困难，但我知道自己一定会成功!

我祈求上帝能帮助我完成我的心愿! =)

911

Val's entry on 911 had triggered me to write this. So what was I doing during this terrible incident?

I was working with SIA(one of the dream company I want to be in) @ the HR department under the recruitment & selection for the IT department. Being someone with just an O' Lvl cert and of no relevant job experience, it seems like the impossible thingy, especially in the government sector. But I've got the chance of a temporary contract and was already on the to-be-converted to a permanent staff stage.

Unfortunately, all things changed because of 911 terrorist crash incident. This has affected the aviation industries quite badly. All available headcounts froze, and many even got retrenched. For me, my hopes with SIA vanished, just like WTC.

The lucky thingy that came outta this? I got employed with Keppel. And thank God for that. =)

Foul day

I dislike people scolding vulgarities. I find it rude & a form of disrespect. And foul language being scolded at you from a friend because he don't see eye to eye with you on something.

THAT'S EVEN WORST!

Epi-Lasik Update

You probably must be wondering why I said in my earlier entry that I'm having difficulty reading in low-light areas.

Unfortunately to say, I'm still left with a +100 astigmatism on my right eye. And the next is to wait for 3 months to ensure that it's stabilize before I go for an enhancement.

Frankly speaking, I'm not so afraid of having another surgery but more hoping that they do it soonest! But my guess that the earliest 'eyesight perfection' will only be Christmas!

Ahh! I really must pray on this one...

Size does matters!

I bought myself another Bible today and carefully stick the index tabs for easy-referencing(it took me about an hour).

The reason for this new purchase is that I'm having difficulty reading in low-light areas and at early hours in the morning like between 4AM - 7AM. And since my other Bible is small & compact for most handbags, you can probably figure how small the fonts are!

Big Bowl

What's with the size of the bowl? I have never been to Japan but do they really use such huge eating utensils? Furthermore, it's actually kinda tiring eating with the chopsticks that is also too short!

Nevertheless, I had a great lunch with Elle last week. =)

Pic taken @ Waraku

Shoot me dead.

I deserve to be shot dead for the blog entry before this. For I had let lousy emotions affected me rather than believing wholeheartedly that God is doing good in/for me. I failed to understand on the Word; the very first which I 'memorized' & put in heart in my Christ walk.

Ecclesiastes 9:11 - I have seen something else under the sun, the race is not to the swift, or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.

It's time I do something about it, else just shoot me dead!

I hope this isn't just a big joke!

Was my life ruined by my own hands? My stubbornness or rebellious self?

What happens if I had been following the path my parents had wanted me to take? Would things be different now?

Since younger days, there were so many things which I had done well & could have achieve better, such as academic & sports , but I did not. I took another route which lead me to today.

OMG! I think I'm going mad or something.

I came to know or rather found out a few things recently which made me feel belittled & lacking of confidence. I just feel ugly, stupid & dumb & should be non-existence on earth.

And I try to ask & seek for an answer from God, why am I here for? WHY? :(

I'm not a robot...

I'm still human & not made of steel/metal/bronze ok, and not as great as everybody finds me to be. I still feel some sort of frustration & sadness sometimes when I can't get to meet you each day or when some things don't get in my way. But I'll learn that it's not my way, it is God's way - for me to be patient and understanding.

Colossians 1:16
For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.

My heart says...

All the while, I have not thought much ahead till recent happenings to myself. A big decision which I had made, not only for myself but ‘for whatever the matter’ is too. While I always thought I could do it; when come to the actual situation, I could not. And this was the biggest guilt in my mind...

Having thoughts into the future because of the above (but this has been in my mind even before any of you might have know me). Simplicity - that's all I ever wanted. And if you want to talk about marriage; I want a happy marriage & marriage vows to be exchanged in a church with the one I love and love me. These vows are significant and meaningful that it overwrites anything! I have never thought of wanting a wedding ceremony neither nor to live in a big house. I want no celebration, no decorations, no buffet, etc. Perhaps these were things which someone else might have wished for, but these are certainly not what I want!!!

You also mentioned that you feel it’s only right to provide and had/gonna spent lotsa time trying to build this. Much as I understand your well-planned intentions, but during this process if we had neglected each others’ feelings, causing our feelings to fade or simple cease in time to come. No matter how much money one earns, we can never buy back the time loss and the feelings we had for each other.

Planning is always one thingy, striking a balance is another. I know it’s never easy for anybody to do so, but we just got to try & never give up.

As much as I hope that I can spent more time with you each day and that each weekend will be longer, I know this is not possible. But I still try my very best...

Somewhat my heart has not rested since the day we got together (sounds stupid, if my heart rest, it probably meant that I’m dead). No doubt, I want to shout out loud that I love you, and wanting more in our relationship; I am afraid I might fall badly and never to get up again. There are many fears in my heart and one of them which you already had mentioned, but I know God will give me strength, dispels all fears and always be my pillar.

Perhaps this is one of the reasons which lead me so close to God; there is no other whom I converse so much each day of my daily life.

There is so much that I want to help you with, in every aspect of your life but I know there are limitations to what I could do, except to pray – for patience & strength, for our healing and that we will grow further in this relationship, together with God.

Your horoscope for today.

You may have a hard time relating to people in social situations, Linda. Perhaps you are frustrated by hearing the same shallow conversations over and over again. While you stand there mingling with dozens of different people, all you can think of is how nice it would be if you could just be home alone on your own couch in front of the TV. Your best plan of attack is to simply avoid situations that you know you won't enjoy. There is no sense in torturing yourself.

Hah! The above has gotta be the best to describe my day. But I still went to meet my ex-colleagues + a 4 mth old baby today as they had been complaining that I had vanished.

Time & Chance Happens to them all

When's mine? *Sobz*

Things Happen for a Good Reason.

So many things happened recently; not only to myself, and also to other friends, till I do not know what I should be feeling now but just wanting to pray.

I understand that things happen for a good reason, however such trials of life isn't very fun and can hurt badly. It would be good if I'm made of metal but I'm not. My heart do aches.

And I pray... Please, my dear Lord. Help me! Keep me away from these...

Money No Enough 2

I went to watch 'Money No Enough 2' last night and it's been a long time since I laughed so much. Especially the part when the mother kept asking, "Ah Hui, you have come home ah? Have you eaten?" It was supposed to be a sad scene, but it was the way the question was being asked repeatedly and responded by Ah Hui which kept me laughing till I teared.

Other than this, the show does portray on the lives of Singaporeans these days. I applause Jack Neo's ideas of removing the ERPs gantries & making them into sculptures instead. Hah!

Abbreviations ...

Just got to know some new ppl recently and they tend to use abbreviations in their sms or conversations. Somehow or rather, I've got influence a little so I kept using it aso =X

The list of common ones which you'll see/seen me using would be:
PTL = Praise the Lord (Dun ask me y yday PTL x infinity, tat's a little secret.)
GBU = God Bless You

Others I used (but on GOP only bcos there are a few bo liao/emo/stubborn/attention seeking/very extra/irritating goonz around) <==agreed by two & more. Hahahahaha!:
DL = Dulan
VB = Vomit blood
GBW = Go bang wall

So all of you better get use to it okie? If I come up with new ones, will probably post here again. =P

PTL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

X infinity!!! =)

Trust...

Someone wrote in the forum about trusting your other half.

To be frank, be it my other half or anybody, I will try not to put so much trust on them. Even if I say I do trust KC; how about the people around him/us, whatsoever.

I agree when people say, if you keep hanging out with those 'pls fill in your own blanks', you will somehow get influenced too. An e.g., my colleagues always goes for branded goods, if I keep following them during lunch as they visit boutiques almost everyday, sooner or later, I MIGHT get tempted and fall into this little indulgence with them. And that's why I chose not to join them for lunch that often, else I will just go off after lunch.

Ahh...such desires... just one word = sad.

Another thingy is that we meet all sorts of people each day, be it good or evil, this is something we cannot control. Perhaps each of these people are sent down by God to test on your faith...

And only, we, individually can choose either to allow the good to do good or the evil to plant evil in your life. And the only way to guard yourself, is to keep remembering & following on His Word and I can't agree more when Frank wrote on, "Be wise in your dealing with strangers. And remember the Gospel."

The only one whom I can trust 101% now is God. For He is immutable & will always be there for me. He will not succumb to temptations and will always be the only righteous one. He provides and only want the best for me. And I will follow in this path which He has set out for me. =)

Hebrews 13: 8
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Revived game.

It's been couple of months since I last played badminton and I was thinking if I should join ATN's grp at Clementi today despite having to rush back to Tampines for my class. I was supposed to play last Friday but I was kinda sick and wasn't really in the mood to play. What I really miss was the group whom I used to play with early this year, from GOP that is, like with Da Jie, JY & KC of cos, etc. But unfortunately, it's not gonna happen anytime near future.

Thank God, Lilian smsed me yesterday to ask if I wanna join her and a bunch of ppl at a CC near my house. Simply Great! I can play once again and I do not need to travel so far! And guess what? It's sorta free!

Today's session was rather good, I just took a little longer during my warm up session. I'm probably the youngest among all but I had fun playing with all of them!

Anyway, I had to leave early as I had something on early afternoon, and yeah, was being invited to play with them every Sunday morning. Sweet! =)

Friends...

There has been many miscommunications between various friends recently.

And I really hate to be sandwiched in between them. No doubt I want the best on both sides, hoping that they don't bear grudges among with each other, but that's not what is happening.

Perhaps we just need a little patience, understanding & rid off the self-centerness.

But I'll continue to pray - that everything will be fine soon. All of us may not know each other long enough yet, but still, we should all treasure this friendship, staying united (as we used to be)...

Friends by Michael W. Smith

God knows...

I had a dream awhile ago (just before I woke up) & this time round, a dream which I could remember vividly.

I was trying to figure out why this sudden dream; was it related to any of my thoughts before I slept last night?

Then something hit me that God is telling me that He knows; everything that you do/did & everything you say/said. There is no escape from Him and no matter how much you can prove you are right, or things which you had resolved, whether its good or bad. You'll still have to answer to Him.

Aftermath.

And so the D&D ended with a Sony Bravia 46" LCD TV & not that it is of interest to me... Ahh! I was more glad that it was over!

I uploaded some pictures on my friendster if thats of any interest to you (more to come when my colleagues have sent me). And yeah pictures of me with colleagues dressing up as Heroes & Villains - as fictional it can be or simply just desires & fantasy of people wanting such supernatural powers. And no, I wasn't in any heroine outfit or whatsoever, just a simple dress for a simple me. =)

Now if you read the book of Ecclesiastes - King Solomon. The lesson in that chap teaches you whenever your thoughts become earthly and focus on things under the sun, you'll despair.

In simple, when you focus & live life on your desires, your life will be unfulfilled.

Okie okie I will stop here before anybody starts hitting my head.

Anyway, enjoy the pics! Go guess who is the majesty, queen & highness!

Annual D&D - Superheroes!

It's my Annual D&D Day and this year will be on Superheroes! Unfortunately this time round, it will be less exciting/fun as I cannot imagine my team wearing any superheroes outfit =X

I reckon most are going for the prizes & free food only. Did I mention that last year's first prize was a trip to Mauritius + a sum of $$$? Ahh!

Anyway, I hope I have abit of fun tonight despite all the loud shouting n stuffs.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Time & Chance Happen To Them All.

The other day there were many caterpillars hanging on the trees, and I wondered where did all the butterflies gone to. Today I saw a bunch of them circling around my feet playing with me.

The other day I was wondering when will I get to meet the daughter of my favorite president? Today she spoke to me and drove me home; A humble lady whom can cook very well indeed.

=)

I'm so touched.

Thank you, May, for your little belated birthday gift and card.

Thank you, My Lord, for blessing me with such a good friend. =)

Just keep praying...

I'll be fine with Lord Jesus.

Rainy Morning!

I did a very unglam thingy by wearing slippers to work today! It was raining heavily in the east and since there is so much construction going on near my neighborhood. I just can't resist wearing slippers!

This makes me recall those younger days when going to school with the almost painted white school shoes. And during raining days, most of us just wear slippers in order not to dirty them.

Do you remember your mom nagging at you to wash your shoes? To paint them after it drys up? Or you just simply just throw it in the washing machine? Well, I really do know of people whom does this! =P

Happy 4 Months!

Congrats on clinching the deal! God Bless!

Quiet Times...

I'm loving quietness & my daily conversations with God more n more each day. As that is the only time I feel peace & my mind is undisturbed. I long for the weekends to come faster so I can once again feel restored.

I feel a little sick of all the every day human indulgence over food, entertainment & entertaining of people aka socializing as all bad things will be shown else known.

And all these...had cast me far away - to be in my prayers.

Quality Time...

My bus ride was 70cents lesser today as there was a technical glitch on the easylink card reader. At first, I thought it was gonna be a free ride when we were told to just take a seat. Later the trip was sorta delayed as we stopped by somewhere for it to be fixed but this has given me sufficient time for a second reading of a book by Joseph Prince. Yeah yeah, why read it another time since I only finished reading last night? =X

Anyway, these has sparked me to open another little corner of mine which I call it my sanctuary. Don't bother asking me where it is ok? Tsk tsk* =)

Dan Ryan's Chicago Grill

I had dinner with Darling, Elle, Ashley & Roderick @ Dan Ryan's Chicago Grill last evening. This is another new place that I've gone to this year & I would say the next time if I were to order any steak, the best is to follow Darling's theory on having the most expensive steak on the menu as that's usually the best steak being served by the restaurant! And it seems this has always been the case as those I had ordered, doesn't taste as good as his! *pouts*

We had the New England Clam Chowder soup, Sauteed Mushrooms as sides and my main dish was the Rib Eye Steak and Darling had his Charred Striploin Steak! I think the word charred turn the rest of us off a little from ordering it, but his was the best among all!

Anyway, it was a great gathering of good food lovers but yet being afraid of gaining weight/fats. Cheers!

Bday Present

Dearest DArling gave me a PSP for my bday! Deep red in color but with no games yet! Muacks~!

Initially I didn't buy it myself becos of a few things:
1) I know I will get hook and it's not good as I can do many other things with the time spent on it.
2) I'm saving money.
3) Pastor Rony said, 'virtual games' are evil!!!

To many, perhaps it's about gifts & celebration. But for so many years, all I ever wanted was to be with my love ones. And I feel deep joy that I am able to be with Darling this year and the PSP!! Yippee! Now is to get games~~~ Kekeke! =P

Though my bday is over, I am still getting questions from friends on what I want to eat, what present do I want for my bday. But seriously, we can meet to catch up on our lives but do not spend $$ on getting gifts okie? Like what I've mentioned...

The greatest gift I have received, is God's Love.
The greatest gift I have gotten for myself, is The Bible.

There is another gift which I have thought of receiving but never have I told anyone...

Perhaps I will get it myself when the time comes for me to be baptized. =)

8 Law of Habitual Thoughts

Went for Service this morning & Pastor Rony spoke on feelings & thoughts & said, "Your brain is a powerful tool". He then go about speaking on the 8 Law of Habitual Thoughts as listed below.

8 Law of Habitual Thoughts
1) You have the power to choose what to think regularly.
2) What you constantly think will become real & relevant to you.
3) Your habitual thoughts will becoming the driving force of your life.
4) You will eventually become what you habitually think.
5) You will eventually put your habitual thoughts into actions.
6) Your translated action repeated will eventually become a habit.
7) Your driving thoughts and habit will reinforce each other.
8) You can only change that pattern of living by first changing your thoughts.

How true & powerful these words are. Praise the Lord, for guiding me once again. =)

Happy 27th Birthday! =)

The greatest gift I have received, is God's Love.

The greatest gift I have gotten for myself, is The Bible.

My Idle Mode Starts

So I went to do a personality type quiz - http://www.ipersonic.com/test.html! And the results is kinda accurate for me...


Social Realist (SR)

Social Realists are popular persons full of energy. They are reliable, well organized and helpful. Traditional values are important to them. Founding a family also plays a central role in their life. Social Realists have a marked social streak. They are always ready to listen to the worries and problems of others and spare no effort when they are asked for help. With empathy and understanding, they can sense what other people need. Social Realists are always willing to highly regard the strong points of the other person and to excuse that person’s weaknesses. They are the most sociable of all personality types. Social contacts are very important to them.

Social Realists find it very difficult to cope with conflicts and criticism - harmony is their elixir of life. Acknowledgement and esteem are very important to this type. Differentiation on the other hand is not necessarily one of their strong points. At work and in partnerships, they are loyal, committed and always there when needed. They find it easy to make friends due to their open, warm manner and they have a large circle of friends.

In love, they are faithful and attentive and care for their partners with a great deal of imagination and sensitivity. Social Realists show their feelings openly and honestly. Should a relationship break up, they tend to blame themselves. That is why they find it very difficult to end a partnership even if it has not fulfilled their requirements for some time.

Social Realists are more conservative types. They have a set system of values and rules which is orientated to the prevailing traditions. They prefer clear, structured surroundings and work processes; they find too much change und unrest unpleasant. Their strong points are carefulness and reliability and not so much flexibility and spontaneity. Social Realists are open-minded towards anything new only to a limited extent. But, should one be looking for someone to fulfil a task reliably and exactly, they are the right persons.

Sleepless Night

Went for a double date last evening and watched the movie 'The Happening' directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

It was just a casual dinner meet up but later our partners joined us & we decided to go for movies.

I sorta recall why I do not like to use my brains after night falls as this will lead me to a sleepless night due to extended usage of the brain. Haha! It's similar to cycling, when you pedal hard and stop pedaling after awhile, the wheels will still run before you need to start again. I guess my brains work this way as well. =X

Just like babies & young kids..when they are over-excited into the night, they tend not to sleep. It's the same logic for me! Of cos, I would be a big baby for now. But yeah, it's still happening to me. =)

Now why do I keep talking about getting over-excited & on my brains, that's because of M. Night Shyamalan! I did not realized that this show was directed & written by him but I do remember telling myself in the past that his shows does leave you thinking & hyped up cos of the plot/scenes. And so it's around 10.30pm when we watched the movie with the gr0ss and terrifying scenes of people trying various ways of killing themselves.

The strange thing is that I was not even thinking of the show when I was in bed, but yeah, I had a sleepless night. =X

Big Thank You

I wanna say a Big Thank You to JL, SM, MM, JJ, LGF, ATN, XH & ED for your presence at dinner last night, the gift card, the cake and most importantly, all your thoughts. =)

Cannot say out yday cos I will cry one, especially when all of you sang the birthday song.

Ya ya, Cancerian are emotional people but there is never a day when I felt being a one isn't good. =)

Lost & Found

I thought I have lost it, else I must have dump it during the cleaning of my room. But today, I found it back where I have left it! The original spot!

This seem odd as the last time I search for it, it wasn't there! Hah!

Given to me by Esther in 1994, I wondered what had kept me keeping it for 14 years.

It's a sign...The sign which I had been asking for. Thank You My Lord!

My work

If you had been a follower of my lousy writings since the start of this blog. You might have noticed that I previously treat this blog for me to vent my anger/whinings/complains in regards to work.

But for now, this has tone down quite a lot ever since I have transferred department as of late 2007.

Just some updates, I am still with SH but currently in the another dept where my busy period is only during 8th - 20th of the month. And during this period, I just needa complete my reports and the rest of the days I would somehow be on idling mode. The only bad thingy is that, I have to face the 'queen & highness' whom almost all dislike.

This was maybe a very late decision but a chance so slim which came by, just when I was on the verge of resigning. But now, I am really enjoying the 'less stress & responsibilities' with having more time & flexibility, which in return gave me the chance to know more friends and to be together with Darling. =)

Now I know that I would want to spend time to know and understanding him as much as I can. But recently, Darling had clinched various projects which have kept him very busy. I just wish that there could be something which I can do for him; but on IT/technical stuffs? I think I am an idiot on this. (Well, I know how to format my pc la, not like some whom totally have zero knowledge on it).

Anyway, just for sharing.

Life is an ECHO. What you send out, you get back.
What you give, you receive. When you bring out the best in others, you bring out the best in yourself.

The above quote is written on one of my client's email signature.

My say...

When you keep thinking/doing those things you cannot control, you'll miss out on the little things which you actually can do.

I need to address on my above sayings which I use very often recently. Cos I feel that this can be applied to many people out there. I hope that after you have read the following & its examples. You can learn & do something (hopefully for the better) on your decision making.

DO NOT THINK of the aftermath, cos that is that is something which you usually cannot control. Do think on your actions & words, what you do, what you say, will it hurt someone, will it make someone happier, what is the impact you want on them? What is the impact you want on yourself? Always remember what you say/do reflects on yourself & the people around you.

You asked if one day I get to know someone better than you are, will you choose to break up. My answer is no, unless you do not love me anymore and had given up on our relationship, else I will not let go. This is because the future is something I cannot control, right now, I want YOU. Anyway, please do not keep thinking on the ‘what if one day that someone better might come along’, but please do something about it so that, that one day will never ever come.

To all the criminals out there, I also do wish that all of you will think twice before doing any crime. Whether it is to rape/molest/robbery/murder/fly a plane into some buildings, have you ever thought of the consequences? Well, the very first thing would be you have your own conscience to answer. You know you will be punished, either being jailed, hanged or even death. You know your reputation is at stake since once you have criminal record it will be hard for you to find work anymore. You know you gonna hurt those whom really love you. Then do not do it, don’t let it happen, by not doing crimes, that’s something you can control then you don’t have to think of the aftermath!

As for C.E., I think it looks pretty obvious that I'm go against him all the time these days. To those whom do not know what had happened in the past, it would be that I am really against him or that I dislike him just like anybody does. BUT the main reason why I kept shooting him is because he is just an irritant without using his brains. What he says/do doesn't reflect that he is sincere in really wanting us back as friends. Seriously, If you really want us to accept you back, you better stop whining and do something about it. Reflect on yourself, kid.

As for BQT: Darling use to always say he has some liking for me thus being so emotional. But I do not want to know whether he likes me or not. I am already attached, and the thingy which he can control is his emotions. Same goes for those other people whom are very nice to me. I really appreciate it but I already found someone whom I really like. And if you really want happiness for me, please give me your blessings instead.

As for JL: I know I’m so gonna lose this friend if I don’t do anything about it. She was frustrated with me for lying and not listening to her. I don’t blame her, the fault lies in me cos I lied to her and because I never did tell her on what I want, what I believe and what was ‘the very important thingy’ which I need to do, she wouldn’t know my intentions. But I’m glad, she is willing to give me time to solve my own things. And I wanna say a big thank you to you.

Similarly for myself, I know I’m so gonna lose this relationship if I keep thinking negatively on it. And if I don’t do something, I will lose someone whom is important to me. So heck care the right time right place when I need to talk to you, even if you have to put me in a tank full of pigeons, I still will talk to you and do something about it, cos this relationship is what I really want. (Yeah I am afraid & hate pigeons).

Oh ya, I have taken about an hour and only eaten half of my breakfast to write the above. If I don't start work now, I'm so gonna mess up my work and I won't be able to go back on time to have dinner with you!~

So yea, I need to do work now already. Hah! Whoever read this, please do take some time to think over the above. There are so many examples which I can quote. But I hope you get the gist of what I want to say. Many might say why think so much? All of us are given only one brain, if we don’t make use of this powerful tool, who else will?

BUT THEN AGAIN, please do not think/do of those things which you cannot control, cos you'll miss out on the little things which you actually can do. =)

Greetings from Seoul

Was chatting with Tony today while he is working in Seoul and myself in SG office. Hah! We catch up a little on each other's life and he talked on his relationship/marriage of 15 years. As usual, I like to ask what the one thing that makes relationship works; he said ‘compromise with other’.

Today I learnt another thingy & found another June baby.

He says:
By trying hard … effort = 100%, returns 50%, sometimes dun try - returns 40%... ROE is higher without trying! So let nature take its course. You will start to learn when you are my age.

Happy Birthday in advance to you. June babies rocks! =)

Simplicity & Happiness

If only life is not so complicated, how nice would that be? That’s what people usually say, but I think it’s more on how simple you want your life to be!

I was watching ‘The Hospital’ aka 白色巨塔 and realized you actually have to watch Taiwan dramas with a very open mind and to be positive. There are so many scenarios in the show which I can relate to myself, but if I really do so, then my life would just be as sad as the show.

Simple & Happy. That’s how I want my life to be – nothing too thick in my wallet, nothing too fanciful in my wardrobe and definitely not with a high profile status. The only thing I want is to be happy the way I am and my love ones to share my happiness and to stay as happy as I do. And that’s what I’ll pray for Darling everyday too. =)

Summary of June

(Huh? Right in the middle of the month? Hah!)

Time past so fast, and it's been almost a week since we came back. I'm soOooo missing the times spent in TP, that I had not recover from the moods since I came back to work. Seriously, I didn't felt like coming back to SG especially on the last few days! And for my work tis week, it's just totally unproductive! Looks like I probably needa buck up a little & this weekend's mornings will be spent in office to do work! =(

Time past so fast, and it's been a month since I did my Epilasik. Everything is okie for now, except my vision not being sharp enough. The only thingy was I wasted some $$$ on purchasing few bottles of eyedrops which I don't need anymore. And the next consultation will be on the 20th of June where my eyesight will be assessed again.

The following two weeks will also be slightly busy for me, as my friends are already bugging me out for some catch up session & yeah, it's my month! June babies rox! I can't help hoping the day will come faster, budden again, if that day comes sooner, it means my age is increasing! Ahh! How contradicting life can be.

Anyway, Darling had been very busy with work, hopefully things will run smoothly for him and we will be able to spend time together during then & aso fulfilling the bet we had made with each other. The 666 bet. =)

Some of the food we ate

Don't drool ah!! =P

Basically their food taste similar to ours in SG but I would say they are very creative in serving out their food. The ingredients are just normal stuffs but they can come out with lotsa designs/patterns/methods in order to attract our attention!


Hong Shao Niu Rou Mian! Only NT69, but taste only soso~~



Their prata! Chong You Bing!!! Very nice especially with egg, bacon & cheese!~~~


Yummy pastry with chilled chocolate fillings! Sweet!~~


Guan Cai Ban! A deep fried thick toast, cut in the middle with a mixture of everything~~!



Ru Rou Fan, Kangkong, Fishball Soup & Fried Oyster!


Some Beef Rice Thingy~~


San Xiong Mei's MAngo ICE @ XMD!!! Darling likes it with lotsa brown sugar syrup!!!!


Guess wats inside? EscargO!!! We had 3 portions of this ah~~~


Roasted Chicken!~



Ding Tai Fung! We both agreed that SG's better!

Sorry to JL

I didn't realized that becos of 1 lie, I had to use more to cover it. But why wouldn't you tell me or talk to me about it??? I kept apologizing to you for the wrong things and in return, making you more angry! If you don't tell me directly, how would I have know what wrong I have done?

For this, I'm really sorry, I should not have lied to you or to any friends at all. This is something which I have done wrong and I shall not say or tell you not to be angry with me again. But I would still seek forgiveness from you cos I do really treasure this friendship & I promise not to lie about anything again.

I know you are also frustrated that I kept asking where all of you are going but in the end, its either I come very late else I don't show up at all. But please do know that I really wanna join you people but there's something more important which I had to do. Something was wrong and I need to get it solve first. And in order to solve this, I need time.

I know that friendship is never a transaction, but can I bet on our friendship by buying time from you?


Sorry to all.
I didn't listen cos I still believe in what I am doing. I appreciate all your concerns but this is what I want & wouldn't let go.

And one thing which I have to disagree with you all is, "What counts in making a R/S is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility."

Please believe in me and what I do. You know I could just be frustrated over why you guys are doubting over what I do, but I won't. I hope this is something which you all can learn about me and on friendship.


Sorry to me.
I have not taken care of myself. And to love someone, I have to love myself first.

I had been complaining or rather upset that we don't communicate and I feel helpless trying to know who you are. But I came to realised, there was so much to learn about the both of us when we are together. Every single person has their own way of communicating, and this is something which I have to learn & understand on.

I'm back in SG!

For some reasons, I know I have made some friends to be angry with me or rather upset with me for not telling where I have really went for the past one week AND for not listening to what had been advised/said to me.

What I can only only say is that I have my reasons for not telling AND please let me have this 50% chance cos its really important & meant alot to me!!! Cos if I don't try, I will never know...And I don't want things to be just faded through time. Call this being persistent, or call me stubborn. I just hope that you will/can understand...

I know what I want & I will fight for it

Try = 50% Win & 50% Lose.
Not Trying = 100% Lose.

This 50% is important to me, so I want to take this chance. Even if everything fails, I know I have tried...

Positive & Negative

Do you feel that that you will think more positively when you talk/be with someone positive than a negative person?

Personally, I would say yes, I tend to think more positively when I talk/be with someone positive. But even if I talk/be with someone negative, I will try to learn from that someone to become positive & hopefully he/she will feel my positive ions as well. Even though, sometimes after talking to that person you will get the same answers as what you already have thought of. Perhaps I just want to be sure of what I am doing.

I met up with TWL for dinner yday at Down Town East and based on the fact that I do not wan to eat instant noodles consecutively for two weekends.

This place has changed so much with many new facilities which probably tempt many people to visit the place since its opening. But how long would it last? I wondered...

TWL & I talked on things which made me learn, but I hope I would have the chance to put them in good use. We also talked on the perspective of people, on how they can differ between various people.

I needed some quiet time & landed in such a crowded place... But I would say that I had a good chat with TWL & felt so much better in a way or another.

Dang. I wanted so much to sing too but they didn't allow any one person singing today which I can understand that the 1 charge of mine, they probably can get 5 charges to a room.

Women does stupid things for love

Recently, the heavily debated topic in TGOP is on 'Abortion or Adoption', this came after one of our forum mates got pregnant and the guy being not responsible, leaving her to decide on what to do.

After thinking through, I would say that I belong to the pro-choice category & agree that she should do abortion.

Quoted from my Darling, "pro-choice does not mean pro-abortion. Perhaps it is a stand that tend to favor the abortion decision but where the parents feel they are ready despite the unplanned nature, where they do want the child, then I fully support their decision to keep it."

In her situation now, a young pretty doctor to be, a family whom favors the ever so slacking son, and with a mentality from asking on "why the jerk is still doing this to her". I really think that she should do abortion instead of adoption. Anyway, this is a decision she has to make and I hope it's not another stupid thing women does for love.

I have to admit that I'm also one of those women & one example would be from the second decision I've made on May 14th. I wouldn't say its a a stupid thing that I did for love, but I'm sure many scold me if they knew. You may ask if this is a choice of mine or just a gamble? I can't really answer you. But I do wish it wouldn't turn out to be the latter...

It’s the usual must go ‘Happenings’

‘Happenings’ is an event which my entire department have to attend every month and the HOD will talk on sales update of the various sector or would I just say, in simple, it’s a communication session.

Today, she talked about ‘Overcoming Obstacles’ and also mentioned a quote which Manfu had previously told me before which is ‘Things happens for a good reason’. Immediately, I sms Manfu and started chatting with him instead of listening to the usual sales/marketing updates.

There were some issues which we sms-ed about, and Manfu came over to my desk to talk to me an hour ago. Of all things, he said something which made me cry. Some words so accurately describe my feelings.

It could be my mind which is weak from being sick again or the caused of all the drugs which I'm taking. I dunno. Well, do not worry cos I’m alright.

Fear...

My mind wandered too much today after reading something few days back & after watching a show on the bus last night. Both an almost similar situation.

Is this just a coincidence? Is this a type of fear? Whether it's a yes or no, I must overcome it.

But one thing I must remind myself is on what I personally had said before...which is, “When you keep thinking of those things you cannot control, you'll miss out on the little things which you actually can do."

Note: The above mentioned situation is not about the 'heavily debated topic' among TGOP now on "Abortion or Adoption."

Complains!

I think the following complain comes only from me (that's among my own friends of cos).

I was trying on some dresses just now and there is this dress which I like it so much but I couldn't buy it cos my pair of fr0nts are too big. This has always been the case even when I was much slimmer, and there are some clothes which I couldn't fit into. Now wait, I should be contented with what I have, there are many whom wants it but have to use padded bras to enhance, so in a way, I had saved $$$ on buying those type of lingerie. Ahh! *Dilemma* You just can't get the best of all worlds!~ =X

Anyway, to compensate that I couldn't buy that dress, I went GAP which is also having sales & bought myself a nice green tube top! 30% + 10% Discount, what more do you want! =)

Maybe if I'm free tonight, I will take a picture of it! Cheers!

My EpiLasik Op on 15th May 2008

Now now, I know I have not blog on my EpiLasik Opz & there are many people whom are curious about it. Cos it’s been a week plus, pls let me try my best in recalling on how the whole thingy went about.

It was a fast move on my side. Was just talking about it with some friends & within a few days I have done the opz. Same goes to my parents; I have asked for their approval, the very next day I did it! =X

After taking some pills (can’t remember what it is), I sat on the sofa waiting for my turn; I was trying to feel my pulse to see if I was nervous. Maybe it was because of the pills and that Darling was there, my pulse seemed fine. Well, I wasn’t really afraid about it, but I was glad Darling was with me =)

As expected, it was a long wait before my turn or rather I was the last on the list for the opz that day.

The preparation before the opz was quite a calm one - when I walked into the room, I was greeted by the assistant whom helped me with the robes and disinfection of the eye area. The last I saw with my spectacles was a cross on the wall and this made me felt like praying. I was then asked to sit on another sofa and she played some music... Dr Julian Theng then came out to greet me as well and ask on how I was feeling and cracked some jokes with me before leading me to the surgery room.

On the surgery bed, my eyebrows were then being taped & eyelids being clipped to prevent blinking. However, one of the drops which felt super cold after contacting my eye forced me wanting to blink! The actual opz was more superb, you just have to look at the spaceship and to focus on the green & red lights. The whole process was so fast, you didn't even know you have already gone through it. (Don't mind me, I hate to recall on the machine names. I'll just use similar items/objects to describe it. =P)

The night after the op, I kept tearing, there was no pain, but once I open my eyes, tears just flowed! This frightened me a little as one of my eye seemed to have triple lids and the other being extremely small!

Second day, I was ultra sensitive to light and I just want to hide in a dark corner. *Totally vampired* Worst of all, my attempt to take public transport; though a successful one but I almost got hit by car while crossing the road! =X

Third day onwards, I was already out playing. =D

Not forgetting I have to keep dripping eyedrops (4 types!) every 3 hours and the tear drops as and when I feel dryness in my eye. I sorta got 'scolded' by Darling for rubbing my eyes with my hands & not putting the drops when necessary. Oh ya, the sunglasses too, but I really felt it was rude to wear it while eating with the rest. =(


Don't worry, I now clean my hands before I put my drops, under bright sunlight, I will wear the sunglasses. I've brought enough tissue paper out to wipe my eyes okie? =)

As of today, my vision is still a little blurry, especially when I'm in office, I simply have to sit very close to my monitor screen. Weird isn't it? Heh! But I know it's improving! Yday, after I had dripped one of the eyedropz, for almost 10 secs, the vision became super sharp! And I love it! Haha! I'll just have to wait patiently for it to stabilize then I'll be able to enjoy.

Cheers! Everything is good! But I should have done this earlier in my life =)

P.S.: It's taking too long for me to finish this & I'm getting lazy. So don't mind me for the brief notes on the later part of this post. =D

Bad Day? Mood Swings?

It all started waking up at 4am; I didn't manage to sleep back so my day started early. As I was on medical leave since last Friday due to my EpiLasik op, I wanted to go in office earlier to see what is the damage and the fact that I'm saving $$$, I took the first bus.

Just as what I had expected, my work desk was in a mess with lotsa new requests to be inputted for my may's report. I was already gonna submit my reports for the month, but with all these, I had to pend on it.

With the removal of my bandage lens during lunch, things got worst as my vision became ultra blurrish. I simply cannot do work or rather I did not have the mood to even continue.

I managed to survive till 5.30pm and met up with Aaron for a short discussion and he promised to come up with something on my request. Thanks to him, but I do not know whether it might work till I get there.

Since I was already in town, I continued with my search for my item & hoping I could eat dinner with Darling after his work. But all things crashed when my mom had to call, sorta screaming at me to be home cos she did not bring out her keys again. I did tell her that I won't be back so early, but she kept asking where I was & what time I'll be back in which I do not have an answer! Argh!!! The continuous sms-es and asking of the same questions later on was what that got me really pissed off. Taking a cab didn't really help either as there was a traffic jam.

I do not know why the sudden change of moods, but I was already tearing while on cab. I might have frightened the driver with my tears and bloody eyes. My whole journey was a quiet one and I was trying not to make any sniffing sound.

P.S.: Apologies, the come-back after so many days was an angry/sad one. I actually had some writings on papers already and because of my vision I have not type them out. And FYI, this post was done by increasing the font size to about Arial - 20. =X

Two Decisions

I went for the pre-LASIK assessment yesterday & have decided that I will do Epi-Lasik. Gotten my approval from my parents (but I will still do it even if they disapprove), calculated on my budgets, spoke to my boss that I will be able to handle all work before ops. There seem to be nothing that I miss out?

I had hesitated too long since the day I was being introduced to it, which is like in the early 2000s. Back then, I wasn't financially stable as I was still a clubbing princess & that my close friends were discouraging me to do so (even when I type this).

So the question is why do it now?
- Be it permanent contact lens or disposable ones. I can never get a good fit or clear vision.
- Extreme discomfort/redness/dryness after wearing contact lens. I have to bring my spectacles almost all the time!
- Have to go diving with contact lens. Possible to get serious infection or lost of lens. Thus wastage of $$$ & possible not to spot on macro stuffz.
- I love my brown eyes. Do not deny, it's nice, combo-ed with my smile =D

By now, I have received lotsa well wishes from friends, but I was thinking, "What's so scarey about it?" I then thought of the things which really matters to me, and only two came in mind.
- The first thingy when I look at someone is their eyes.
- The warmest thingy I can feel is through someone's smile.

Both does involved one's sight isn't it? *Heh*

Oh well, if all of you kept saying I'm brave. Maybe I am...cos I've decided to do both eyes at the same time. Maybe I am not too...I have not lie on the ops bed. Maybe I would have shivered.

The only thingy which made me question myself was whether I'm able to take care for my love ones when they need me. But I will just hope & pray there won't be any implications after the ops.

As for the second decision, I can't really say much. I knew things were changing for me - I just wasn't sure if it was for the better. Nonetheless, I accepted this challenge and I'm sure GOD has a plan for all of us, we'll just have to wait patiently.

Expectations. Changes.

I spent my Sunday doing house chores such as washing of clothes, repacked my dive gears, tidying my desk and ironing of clothes. As there were quite abit of ironing to do, and there’s nothing much shown on the SG’s channels, I re-watched Jolin’s concert again.

Listening to her, I began to sing along and was amazed I could actually remembered most of the lyrics. Yes, I love listening to her albums and proud to say that she was one of my idols.

I then recalled many people telling me that they prefer her previous image. But has anybody realized it was based on whose expectation or demands which caused her to change? Now it seemed that the change wasn’t what people really have expected har? Nonetheless, her efforts in improving herself should be commendable. For I know she has put in lotsa hard work to enhance herself, in terms of singing, dancing & of cos, her famous G-cup boobs.

The next big question would be: Have you ever sat down to think; have you done/said something to someone, just to meet up with your own expectations or have you been living in other people’s expectation and not of your own? If you have not, maybe you should just take 5minutes to really think about it now. Also, I find everything links to each other, you might wanna think on the changes which you need to make/adapt too; are you able to handle it?

To me, it’s always the famous saying, the least expectations you have, the lesser disappointment you’ll get. But this verse kinda contradictz har? Who doesn't have expectations? Well, at least I know...the expectations I have for myself. =)

I'm alright...

I think the recent medication which I had been taking for the past one week has been making me weird, pulling my moods down a little, so I sounded rather quiet har? Everybody kept saying I seemed weird? But seriously, it could most likely be the caused of the drugs that's making me less livelier?

To all those whom has been very questioning me; I would like to say to all...I really appreciate your concern and I'm really okay!

The cough is pissing the hell outta me as I can't get much sleep either. Furthermore, my busy period has started, so I'm rather occupied with work as well. I am also trying to push myself a little more in order to finish my work before the dateline.

It could also be the lack of family members at home? My Parents are holidaying in Japan and my sister is in Myanmar for her poly attachment. Well, it's not the first time that I'm staying/travel alone. But, I still find something missing when they are not around...

Hey! I'm really alright! I will get back to normal once my engines are all running fine. You can't wait for me to disturb/tease you har? =)

Not feeling well...

My coughing is just gonna get better but the time of the month is here! Now I’m having aches all over & abit of cramp this morning. Please do not let the headaches come too. Argh!~~~

Crystal Jade with SM & JL

Before I forget about it...on 30th April (supposedly to be not free on this day cos it's my sister's bday)... SM, JL & myself went to have Crystal Jade at Toa Payoh central.

The craziest thingy we did, or rather only JL & me, was to eat 6 sets of Xiao Long Bao (Steamed Pork Dumpling)!~!

The receipt!


Can you imagine 2 girls eating 6 sets of it? Yes, though it's only 5 piece per sets but still having 15 each is so mad! Even the waitress had to re-confirm that we will be ordering another 3 sets and this made all of us laughed, including the people sitting near to us!

Felt so pig after that I had to search for sweets to neutralize the taste. It's really a over dosage of p0rk! Must go do some calculation on the distance I have to run to shed this away.

Happy 2 Months! =P

We went for Pasta de Waraku as both of us suddenly had cravings for Spaghetti! My Carbonara was just nice, but I shouldn't have mixed the egg as it sorta covered up the whole sauce taste. Darling didn't really enjoyed his beef spaghetti? He mentioned it was just soso...

The bad thing was, I am still coughing badly, especially when I feel cold so I wasn't really feeling good when I was out & almost tripped on the bus as my mind was in a blank after medication.

The happy & funny thingy was... Darling had figured out what the item was and had removed it already! The clue was quite simple isn't it? =X

It was rather comical when you tried to tell me about it, and I was still acting blur. I somehow knew it when you took them out and left it on the table, you then took out another pair of it and keep shifting around the table. I just couldn't help it but smile and said, you already knew it right. *MUACKZ*

Anyway, the night ended with us having a tub of Haagen Daaz's Ice cream - Midnight Cookies & Belgian Chocolate! Just like the day we started our r/s having Haagen Daaz's Ice cream before the TGOP's porridge buffet outing. *Ya, I know it's fattening & I was coughing*

Maybe we should just have ice cream once every month, especially on this day. =)

My gd fren - Terence

Met my neighbour at the void deck last night & she told me that her son is getting married on 1st June. Not that it really bothers me even though we are staying next to each other, but the fact is we don’t really talk much. The only thing which I could recall of them doing is to tell my mom that my Sec Form teacher came by, and told them I was playing truant. I got walloped badly...in the toilet...with a shoe...my lips cracked... the bruises...AHH!

This has reminded me of Terence & Jacqueline’s wedding on the very same day and I have not prepared anything!

Well, I do have lotsa clothes already, but I just want to get something different, something nice to wear for their wedding.

I was sms-ing Terence this morning and asked about any themes that he has, and he said Marvel Heroes! It sounded kinda fun, but I can’t think of any character which I can fit/suitable for. Of cos, we all know this isn’t any annual D&D, and obviously he was just joking.

Now, Terence is someone whom I have known during Spectrum days. We were then the coolies of the company, working our ass through night & day.
Because of this, the whole gang of us spent a lot of time together having meals, sharing of cabs, and venting/complaining about work. Not forgetting our holiday trips and visiting of my JB ‘bf’ – Ivan.

Please do not be mistaken...There is a particular shop where I frequently go to since I was 16 and the owners have already been working there up till now! So whenever I go over, automatically, Ivan will help me QC the stuffs for he already know what kinda quality I am looking for. This includes some free ones/special prices since I always bring my friends to this place.

Terence has never failed to help me in the past; he has been my ATM aka ‘loan shark with no interest’ without questioning on why I needed that sum of $$$; he has also taught me the importance of saving up and kept bugging me to save up! And yes, he told me in order to marry Jacqueline; he has started saving up since day 1 of being together.

One thingy which he still owes me till now is to be my tour guide in Hong Kong! Oppz! Did I mention, Jacqueline is from Hong Kong? Both of them met each other through friends and embark on their love relationship since 4 years back. Whoever said long distance relationship doesn't work? Theirs is a perfect example. But I would say, it was their effort & commitment to each other which made their relationship last.

Cyclone in Myanmar

I don't like what I saw on the news today.

Myanmar is hit by massive cyclone and I just managed to call my sis at her hotel!

My mom have called the school yesterday & was being told they are fine. But since we have not gotten any calls from my sis at all; we will be worried.

This suddenly made me feel glad that I'm living in Singapore and that we are not affected by natural disasters.

All I can do now is to pray to GOD, to watch over her till she comes back, provide her food to eat and will be brave to face this challenge. Amen.

Sick...

Not very good!! I coughed the night away & couldn't get any sleep at all! Argh!

Believe that is why I had seemed to be cranky yesterday and it probably will get worst today!

Thank you to my dear dajie & xiaomei for your concern, I really appreciate it, but not to worries, I'm not on emo mode. I just didn't get enough sleep, and nothing happened. If I were to be angry, I should be angry at those whom passed the germs to me right? (It was funny when the both of you message the same thingy to me, I had to paste the same reply back to the both of you!)

It's funny too, especially when I made a comment on the 'person I hate - YSL'!
My advisor - MM & Coach Lover - SM immediately turn to fan at me and told me not to be angry! The two of them probably thought I would have gotten high blood pressure when I was saying that liner on YSL. But I really wasn't angry at that point of time! Haha!

Anyway, I couldn't really be bothered with YSL anymore cos 'she is like that'. Hopefully she don't try anything funny again; I wouldn't be nice.

The other thingy...which I couldn't figure out was why a supposedly-twin-plusmanyyears would love to go against me so much....for every word being said, for every action done. This really get on my nerves cos I really treat him as a friend!

The few possible reasons would lead back to the doubt which Darling has. The other would be, he don't quite like my Darling.

If that is true, he ought to control his emotions/feelings! If its the later, I could have understand why! Given for anybody, if you don't really like the other person, you probably wouldn't want/like your friends, your love ones to be any closer or involve in anything related to that person! E.g. Like KPH's case, I know she wouldn't be very happy about it if haRMonica kept talking to me either. No worries on this, I'll always side my family =)

But it is unfair for you to be nasty to me! I hope you can treat the whole situation in a more tactful manner. I also hope you can rid the defensive self of yours. Nobody is against you but you made it so that everybody is against you so you had to be against all? It's really dumb.

Last but not least, I don't wish to lose a friend.

Right or Wrong? Should do or not do!

We were able to discuss on the above sentence again in the early morning. Though we all know, we will appear like those from 'House of the Dead' game & that we will be zombiefied eaters today but the news was just too shocking for some.

Personally, I feel that it does not matter if it right or wrong but I see it as a should do or not do case! It is by choice, your own choice. That says so much about yourself!

To be frank, I have yet to find out on, why me, being like a hobbit lookalike would have/get to know a lot of morons. Even up till yday, I still get quite a number of offers if I want a fling with them. Be it people I have know for many years or some could be just total strangers I met on the streets! NO!!! What has this world become to???

Remembering one C.E. saying the following, another C.E. just had to remind us once again!

"Thou shall not do to others if you do not wan that to befall onto u..."

This also explains why I couldn't fully agree when you asked if we could still be friends if we ever broke up. Cos I know that, given the same scenario like KPH's, I would never be able to accept the fact/able to handle my feelings of not having the rights to be upset. (This won't apply if it's related to cheating)

This puts your reputation as stake too. Yes, I rather have the 'arrogant, fierce & anti-social' first impression engraved in everybody's head, than the 'she is just like that ' saying from all!

Seriously, from younger days till now, 90% of friends whom know me, had this impression. But I don't really care, cos I know, once all of you have know me well, will eventually realized that I'm not like this! :P

Many this or that was mentioned in this very posting.

On the bottom line, it's your decision that determines whom you really are.

Cheating...

What’s your say? On cheating? As for mine, I had already expressed my views on this topic several times on my blog. (Go search if you haven’t read it :P)

Paper cannot wrap fire. A guy whom some of us know, happens to be two-timing on his supposedly very-in-love foreign gf.

So will you tell a acquaintance that you actually know about it and give advise? Or choose to be quiet? As for the few of us whom saw/spotted him, we chose to be quiet since he wasn’t really close to us either.

But to my girl friends, please be warned of this fellow. :)

Patience is the key

A night of sadness/anger for many, a night of chaos for those sitting by the roadside, a night of love...

I probably had a little too long a nap awhile ago; I decided to read some stuffs; your writings, right from the start...but after reading a few posts...I wanted to write myself too.

I know I was gonna tell you sometime later this week, to put aside/throw this one item of hers, when I pass you something which I had gotten for you during my recent trip. (I didn't buy it for the sake of giving you something, but becos it's cute! =P)

Yes, I still remembered, the day we announced our relationship to the rest...on the bus...when you took out your own set of that items & was figuring who the owner and later recalled it was her.

This has made me cringed a little, even after few weeks, when you took them out; I admit...I stared to see if hers were still there. For I know, the both of you have broken up long time back, it just made me wondered why you are still keeping it.

Only 1 had seen me struggled over whether I should be telling you about this or not. And even gave ideas on how I should go about doing it. Not only do I have to decide on which crappy methods I should use, I had to deal with the one A.S. woman, whom indirectly because of her supposedly wrongdoings...has brought us together.

Yes, these had formed my frustrations over the past few days, which I would have never wrote/tell/mention on it.

But now, I tell myself, patience is the key...it’s silly & ridiculous having thoughts on why you had keep that item, thoughts on what that A.S. woman is trying to do... for I know I already have you.

And like what I have said, you already stood a position in my heart. That explains why the night before, when you told me those words which I really really hate hearing it from you, I still cried. Now, reading the whole sentence again, I realized I probably missed out on the real meaning of those words.

Despite the flashbacks on my past while we walk on the streets of boat quay, despite us spending lotsa time helping others with their ‘misfortune’...

You just make me feel like loving you more, cherish every little time we have for each other and I do wanna see that our relationship will go to the very end.

I Love You.

Also...

Thank GOD, for your patience on me, for telling me to suppress my anger and not to be bothered over such silly things & for bringing KC to me.


P.S.: I still don't like those words/that sentence...okie? So, please don’t say it! I also remembered you told me that, 'Men don't take hints, so please say out the next time'. But for your sake, I decided to not say out what is that one item in this post. The only clue would be that item/word was being mentioned twice =X

Be smart. But don’t be a smart alec.

Kiang jiu ho, mai gei kiang.

Stop faking it. Stop pretending that you know everything. Stop asking me to do this and that. Stop wasting my time, for you already wasted many peoples’ time. Stop destroying the bond between all of us.

You never fit in as you have sinned badly. Trust and friendship is gain through time & sincerity but you are no where there yet.

You better know your limits of what you can and can not do. I can’t be bothered if you are born Chinese, Ang Moh, Hindu, Japanese, Alienated or Bitchnated.

I'm not anal about this becos I DON'T REALLY LIKE YOU, but your actions made EVERYBODY NOT TO ACCEPT YOU.

Don’t even test my patience. You won’t wanna see the other side of me.

Let this be the first warning.

Too new? No substance?

What’s the point of calling me into a meeting when I can’t say anything? Worst, when I already gave the solution from the start, you had to shun me aside, yet use what I said to conclude the whole discussion? Also, didn’t you even realise that you had created a fool outta yourself by being so stubborn with the requirements? Didn’t they already explain on the product and settled on the case before? Please do your homework/remember what was being discussed in previous meetings. 3 Ka Queen, you really suck big time.

Nonetheless, I’m proud of myself. At least I know I’m still awake despite not having enough sleep. The discussion above used to be one of the products that I have the least confidence handling it of. I guess I have a long way to go in convincing my boss that I’m better. But do I really needa convince her on it? I know I don't need to, in my heart that is, and eventually she will find out.

Sleepy day!

Woke up at 5am to send my sis to the airport! She left for her poly attachment which will last for 2-3 months! Both of us cried a little this morning as this is the first time she goes away on her own. The other 2 classmates whom are going with her are of another race? Erh...I think she’s so gonna miss pork and probably would be lonely. But I'm sure gonna miss 'bullying' her as nobody will help to cover up for me when I go back late and nobody to help me throw the aircon water! HAH!

I couldn’t nap on the bus to work as well. The driver just keeps repeating the same message which nobody really bothers to listen except me. “Ding dong, please move to the back of the bus so as to...etc” The dumbest thing was, since the bus is already packed and nobody is alighting, why does the driver keeps stopping at every stop? Total waste of time!

Just walking around...

As I had an hour to kill before my sis & mom arrived for dinner. I suddenly wanted to write and walked to where 'Popular' bookstore realizing it being closed for renovation!

Tampines Mall had improved quite alot and since the last time I've been there was either just to watch movie or to get daily necessities, I didn't noticed a new wing/new shops!

There is this shop which caught my attention was Artbox; selling cheap stuffs imported from Korea, such as stationery, decorative stuffz and most importantly they have a wide range of writing pads which I could write on! They come in all sorts of designs, classy, cute, simple...whatever you name it, they have it! Well, except sexual ones of cos. Tsk tsk* The simple me definitely took those that has simple prints. For, I love simplicity. =)

Next, I went into 'Precious Thoughts' as they are having some opening sale! The vain side then took over me again. I've bought another mirror! Well, this time round is a mirror to be placed on my desk and the other is a pocket mirror which I had gotten in KL for my daily usage.

New purchase!


The 'evil stepmother' 1! Nice right?
(But I'm not evil one la) Hehe!



The two possible reason over this sudden craze for mirrors could be...
Firstly, I do not have a mirror in my room! I have to go to the living room to check on my hair, what I wore, whether the shoes are matching, etc...which can be kinda tiring & messy as sometimes I just can't make up my mind of what to wear out =X

Secondly, it could be because I'm dropping sizes! Yippee!! I've lost weight over the past few months from dieting and exercising! It just feels so good as I can now find clothes more easily than ordering from overseas. But that does not stop me from buying from sprees either. As I still find foreign designs (clothes & bags) more appealing! And maybe its becos I like to be different, unique, one of a kind, whatever you call it. At least, when you walk on the streets, it is unlikely that someone is wearing the same as you do. Following trend, or setting trend. You decide! =P

I think this motivates me more in losing weight...and yes...I was a T-shirt + Jeans person for quite awhile too! Cos I don't see the need to wear so nice when I'm working my ass off at work!!! Nvm about the past, should look forward!

What made me worried a little was that recent travel trips and double sessions per mealtime had made my weight constant! Oh no! This is not good as I needa cut down more! To at least get away from the 'overweight' range and to at least fit onto 1 of Darling's list of criteria...

Ahh no!!! Wrong mindset! It means getting healthier!!! I needa work harder! I know I can! Positive thinking is half the work done! I needa get back to the boring routine/diet again. Will proper write out the plan tmr as I needa sleep early today!!! There is still plenty of housework to do too!

P.S.: I think I will get another mirror/cupboard? As those mirror which I had bought are not of body size!!! =X